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New Dehli, India – Customs authorities in India arrested a man attempting to board a commercial airline flight with an endangered monkey in his underpants. I am presuming that the term ‘endangered’ is a reference to the status of the entire species of monkey.

Hamad Al-Dhaheri, old enough to know better, was arrested after arriving from Bangkok en route to Dubai on Jet Airways.

“Security personnel found the monkey in his underwear while frisking the transit passengers,” a customs official said. It is believed that this discovery was made after customs officials rejected Al-Dhaeris’ initial claim that he was merely ‘happy to see them.’

The monkey is a 17-centimetre loris – a type of monkey native to India and southeast Asia. It was reported that some believe the monkey to possess aphrodisiac qualities when eaten. The monkeys’ effect as a suppository is not known.

A second loris was discovered in a garbage bin at the Indira Gandhi International airport. It is believed to have been abandoned because it was not being ‘a good traveler.’ Both monkeys were turned over to an animal welfare organization.

Two other men, Mohammed Al-Shamsi and Rashid Al-Shamsi, were identified as accomplices in the smuggling and questioned by the Indian Wildlife and Customs Department. All three were later arrested by police.

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