Shirley, Mass. — Someone emailed us this story about a pit bull named Lily that was hit by a train after dragging an unconscious woman off some railroad tracks. They asked that we post about it to show not all pit bulls are murderous baby rapers.

So here goes.

A pit bull’s attempts to push a woman in front of a moving train were unsuccessful and the dog ended up getting hit by the train instead.

According to one website owner, the dog probably crept up behind the woman as she walked along the tracks in an attempt to push her into the path of an oncoming train.

“Blood lust must have clouded the pit bull’s calculations, causing the pushed woman to fall away from the tracks and was knocked unconscious,” said the man who tracks pit bull incidents in hopes of thwarting their attempts to take over the world in the name of Satan. “The dog was probably so enraged at its failure to remove another human from the planet, that it was unable to get out of the train’s path in time and was struck.”

Because of powers only bestowed upon the Devil’s minions, the pit bull only suffered a  fractured pelvis and a leg that will have to be amputated. As most know, the leg will grow back after a year of feeding on the blood of infants. Sadly, the pit bull’s owners are elated.

“We’ve always known she’s a special dog,” said the woman’s son, who is obviously still under Lily’s mesmerizing devil-spell. “She’s going to be OK, and that’s the main thing. This dog is my mother’s life.”

I have included a video report of the incident that is obviously skewed in the Lily’s favor. But look past the heroic, “feel good” trapping put in place by servants of the Antichrist, and you can begin to see the real story.

(*I’m just being stupid. Good job, Lily*)

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