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DENVER, CO — An idiot in Denver is facing charges after she went on a radio show and bragged about how she lied to get out of jury duty. Unfortunately for the dolt, the judge who had excused her was listening to the show and recognized her.

The day before 57-year-old Susan Cole was to report for jury duty, she feared her roommate had died in a crash. She would learn later that her roommate was safe, but “she was still so emotionally overcome and had too many other activities coming up (so) she did not want to be involved in jury service.”

So she showed up to court on June 28, wearing different colored curlers in her hair, excessive makeup, a shirt that read “Ask Me About My Best Seller,” and — in a page right out of Jaded’s play book — reindeer socks. She would get called for a trial regardless, but would tell Judge Anne Mansfield she could not perform her public service duties because of a physical or mental disability.

“I’m juror 4361 and I broke out of domestic violence in the military,” Cole said. “And I have a lot of repercussions. One is post-traumatic stress disorder. Another thing is I get very confused in the morning when I try to get ready.”

Mansfield sympathized and excused Cole from service and didn’t think much about it until October 11, while listening to KOA radio’s Dave Logan Show. That’s when a caller by the name of “Char from Denver” called in bragging about how she got out of jury duty.

The caller explained how she deliberately dressed in a disheveled and uncoordinated fashion with the intent of appearing mentally unstable. The woman caller said she was drawing stares from fellow jurors, and the judge ended up excusing her. She went on to say that she was a hairdresser and that she and her clients got a good laugh out of how she fooled the judge.

Obviously, Mansfield didn’t find any of it amusing at all. It wasn’t long before an arrest warrant was issued for Cole on charges of felony perjury and attempting to influence a public servant.

Cole told reporters that she isn’t an educated woman and didn’t understand exactly what she did. When asked to elaborate, Cole said, “I don’t want to speak no more. You guys are interrogating me.”

I find it hilarious that this uneducated woman is also the author of Seven Initiations with El-Way’s Secrets: Seven Initiations, a book that supposedly helps readers “deal with difficult relationships and situations” through biblical passages.

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