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Slidell, LA – Police have arrested two women after the body of man with no hands was found rotting in a 160-quart ice chest.

Police were sent to a home because 58-year-old Debra Fisher walked into the police station to come clean about the at-least-months-old, liquefying body of her father in a cooler at her apartment. This was mere hours after deputies had paid a wellness visit to check on the man after Fisher’s landlord and neighbors expressed concerns about the elderly man’s whereabouts.

When responding police spoke with Fisher and her roommate, 45-year-old Heidi Todd (pictured), they were told that the man was out gallivanting; at least that’s what I imagine she said.  The deputies, with no reason to search for ice chests with decomposing bodies in them, left.

Now, if I weren’t so inconceivably dumb, I’d surmise that Fisher and Todd had a post-visit discussion and determined that it was only a matter of time before the police started getting significantly nosier about the whereabouts of the old man.  So Fisher paid a visit to the men in blue herself.

As the police report goes, the man, who was reportedly born in 1928, died in bed some unspecified amount of time ago.  Fisher left him there until the body started decomposing, at which point she cut off his hands and put them in a box in the freezer.  She then moved the rest of the 6’2″ corpse to the aforementioned ice chest, where it had been gooing-up ever since.

Sheriff Jack Strain said that the apartment in which the two women were living was in “deplorable” condition.  He even went so far as to say that it was “beyond what human beings should live in.”  I’m going to chalk up Sheriff’s Strain’s misstep of ending a sentence with a preposition to pure disgust.

The coroner’s office is currently in the process of confirming the identity of the man and his cause of death.  Meanwhile, police are keeping Fisher in custody on charges of mutilating or disinterring human remains and unlawful disposal of remains. Todd has been arrested and charged with unlawful disposal of remains.

There is speculation that Fisher was keeping her father’s death a secret in order to continue collecting Social Security monies in her father’s permanent absence. The removal of her father’s hands was to hinder the identification of the man’s body once they eventually poured it out somewhere.

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