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Schaumburg, IL — A couple of teachers are in the news today, starting with a math teacher at a Christian school who just got busted jacking off behind his desk in front of a classroom full of students.

Police say 75-year-old Paul LaDuke, a teacher at Schaumburg Christian School for over 10 years, was seated behind his podium when he lowered his pants and began masturbating. Another student noticed what he was doing and told another teacher. Since this is not a public school, LaDuke was fired that same day and police were contacted.

On Monday, after investigators interviewed several students, LaDuke was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child. Police believe LaDuke has been doing this several times a year for a decade. Police also said there is no evidence that any students were inappropriately touched or physically harmed.

Maybe it’s because of all the weird shit we post, the only things about this story that surprised me was that LaDuke was capable of an erection and that he chose to lower his pants to take care of it. He’s probably one of those guys who drops their pants to their ankles when taking a piss in a public restroom.

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