Burglary Suspect Makes Half-Naked Getaway

September 8, 2011 at 9:18 am by  

Lemon Grove, CA — Police are currently looking for a burglary suspect who, after a struggle with the victim, ran away in her skivvies.

Richard Sowards went to the store to buy dog food, and upon his return found a petite young woman in his home, holding his laundry basket. When the bright light and angel choir faded, Sowards realized she wasn’t there to give him the gift of hotness and the fresh scent of Gain, but to rob him. Inside the basket were a jewelry box and some computers.

The suspect then ran into the backyard, but was unable to scale the large fences surrounding the property. She ran back towards the house and attacked Sowards. Both the suspect and the victim were attempting to make cell phone calls during the fray, but Sowards said the woman kept knocking the cell phone out of his hands as he tried to contact police.

At some point, the burglar picked up a flower pot and smashed it over Sowards’ head. He would also suffer a laceration to his leg from a piece of the broken pot. Sowards did manage to get his girlfriend on the phone, who called police.

Here’s where things get funny and hot, which are two things that aren’t together nearly enough. On the back porch, Sowards finally managed to get a hold of the girl, grabbing her by the belt. She promptly wriggled out of the size 1 jeans, and as Sowards grabbed her shirt she slipped out of that as well.

With Sowards running out of options, the suspect running out of clothes and my upper body running out of blood, the spat rolls into the front yard. As neighbors were drawn to the commotion, the suspect starting screaming rape. Sowards responded by letting her the hell loose.

“I’m trying to hold her for the police but she’s naked so she starts screaming rape and my neighbors… they know me but what do you do when somebody’s yelling rape? So I kind of let her go,” he said. I honestly can’t say I blame him.

While she did manage to slip away, police were able to identify her as 24 year-old Merlizeth Lescana because she left that cell phone she was fumbling with at the scene. She’s described as 5 feet tall and 100-120 pounds, and I’m currently described as pointing straight ahead with no hands.

There is currently a warrant out for her arrest and I’ll be in the bathroom for the next five minutes.

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