Alvarado, TX – On Tuesday, Troy “Colt” Griffin, 27, was probably wondering where he’d left his cell phone.  Fortunately, a helpful citizen found the lost phone – and the pictures of Griffin having sex with a seven-year-old.  The grossed-out phone-finder took the phone to the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office, where deputies marveled at Griffin’s idiocy and pervitude on their way to get arrest and search warrants.

Griffin and his girlfriend, Elizabeth Hambrecht, 28, did not take kindly to warrants being served. Hambrecht apparently had a bit of a freak-out when law enforcement started going through stuff and telling her how her man is a pedophile child molester.  I’m not sure what Hambrecht did, but she is now facing a charge of interfering with public duties. Which I guess means temper fit or protect-the-penis behavior.  Too bad, really, because she is clearly way too hot for Colt Griffin if you feel like searching for her on Facebook.

Griffin, who says he’s a father of four on Facebook, was arrested and charged with aggravated sexual assault on a child.  Several pieces of digital media were seized during the search of Griffin’s residence, so further charges are likely forthcoming.  Which is what happens when you rape a kid and record it for posterity.  He’s being held in the Johnson County Jail on $250,000 bond.

Hambrecht’s bond was set at $5,000, and since she broke up with the pedo on Facebook last night it appears she’s bonded out.  I hope this also means she got a grip on the stark reality of the situation. Word to the wise, Elizabeth: no penis is worth that. None. Especially not that one.

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