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Charleston, W.Va.– When the parents of an 11-year old girl recently took their daughter to a doctor because she was not feeling well, they learned that one of their worst nightmares had come true. Their daughter was 9 weeks pregnant. And the story does not get any better from there. When questioned, the 11-year old confided to her parents that while she was sleeping over at her friend’s home some time back in May, she had sexual intercourse with her friend’s father, 36-year old Michael Lacy. But Lacy is claiming that he didn’t intentionally sexually assault the girl and that it was all just a case of mistaken identity. Lacy said he woke up with someone kissing his neck while he was lying on the couch. He said he thought it was his wife because his wife often did that to him. Lacy admitted to kissing her neck and doing some kind of act, but he could not confirm or deny actually having sex with her because he couldn’t remember. Come the fuck on! I usually try to not pick on some one’s looks, but this guy is so fucking ugly his first name should be Missing and his last name should be Link! I am having a difficult time believing that an 11-year old child wanted to kiss let alone touch anything connected to this Cro-magnon’s face.

Lacy blamed the memory loss on the fact that he had taken Xanax and Lortab that night. He claimed that he was groggy and in and out of sleep. Ahh…inventing bullshit excuses. It’s so easy a Caveman can do it. Lacy later changed his story and admitted to the sexual assault. He said when he realized that it was the girl instead of his wife, he became sick, ran to the bathroom, and threw up. He said that they both came to the conclusion that they would not tell the girl’s parents about it unless she became pregnant. Lacy was charged with first-degree sexual assault and faces 15 to 35 years behind bars.

But wait! It gets even worse. As if the parents and the 11-year girl had not already suffered enough, Kanawha County Magistrate Jack Pauley set Lacy’s bond at a whopping $5,000 cash. Pauley claims it was a reasonable bond and said, “A bond is not meant to punish, it’s only to make sure they make their court date.” Riiight! Because we certainly do not want to punish a pedophile by keeping him behind bars away from possibly even more victims. It must be really difficult for that judge to talk with his head up his ass.

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