Newnan, GA – A woman was visiting a Barnes and Noble bookstore with her infant last Saturday afternoon when she and her child became unwilling participants in some creepy pissant’s masturbatory fantasy. The woman, reading a book just feet away from her 5-month-old daughter, looked up to see a man standing over the child, his peener in hand. She did what any weirded out woman would do in that position, she screamed and started off after the guy. He paused in the alleged beating of his meat and beat feet out the door while mom called 911. The woman was able to get his tag number and a BOLO was issued for the offensive asshat’s car – he was pulled over a short time later. The skeevy bastid, identified as 50-year-old Joseph Smirniotis, was taken back to the bookstore and positively identified by the woman and another witness. He is now piddling his pud behind bars and is looking at charges of child molestation and public indecency. Bond was set at $25,000.

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