Candler, NC – According to the Enka Middle School’s Web site, Rex Roland has managed to survive for over a decade as a middle-school teacher–no reported episodes of showing up so hungover he had to vomit in the wastebasket during the math quiz, no indications he ever put lame-ass “old guy” moves on any pre-teen girl (or boy), no suggestion that 75% of the students in his classes are more successful than him at correctly spelling the word “literacy.” Truth is, Roland seems to see himself as one “groovy” teacher. As a teacher, he’s just one “cool cat.” He’s totally “with it,” he’s “straight,” he has his hand on the pulse of today’s youth, yo! Case in point: rather than write on the paper of Patty Clement’s daughter something so pathetically old school and passé like “Needs improvement,” he recently penned, in a moment of genius-level progressiveness and “I’m-so-down-with-today’s-youth” brilliance, the following: “-20% for being a LOSER.”

Apparently, such painful teacher-to-student commentary is not new, as it seems that Clement’s daughter was first dubbed to be such a “loser” last year, at which point Clement visited the school principal. As Clement tells it, the principal said she would handle the situation. But I’m guessing something went awry, as it was only a few weeks later that the above-noted written “-20%” remark physically entered the Clement home.

Clement’s daughter has since been removed from Roland’s class, and the school district is reported to be looking into the matter.

Media reports suggest that other parents defend Roland’s “teaching style,” as it is merely his way of “relating” to his students. As of this writing, none of those parents has agreed to allow his or her name or image to be disseminated.

Frankly, that shit like this might ever be construed as appropriate feedback on a student’s performance makes me glad I don’t have any school-age children. Further, if a teacher wants to relate to his or her students, wouldn’t it be more politically astute to go with a simple “OMG WTF LOL FRILL!” rather than a blanket condemnation of the pupil as a person (especially considering that his students must think he’s older than hair, having graduated from high school in 1977)? And am I the only person who thinks Mr. Roland should be relieved he didn’t have Phoebe Prince in his class?

I say this to Mr. Roland: -100% for being a LOSER and an enthusiastic finger-and-thumb “L” on the forehead. Further, a week of detention and a paddling for the Smash Mouth earworm.

Interesting side note: while searching for articles for this story, I found multiple submissions to Yahoo Answers regarding this case and Rex Roland. Some ask the obvious (“Can a teacher motivate a student by calling him a ‘loser’?”), but others seem to have been posted with more ominous intent and have since been deleted (“Rex Roland is a Pedophile in Buncombe County?” and “Rex Roland is a child abuser in Buncombe County?”). Yet another tool in the arsenal of those who want to harass people they hate on-line, FTW!

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