James Howard Patton Likes ‘Em COLD

October 6, 2009 at 12:35 am by  

HOUSTON, Texas – I’ve been wonderin’ were my necrophiliacs been hidin’! But just when I thought they had vanished, James Patton is here representin’ the Necro Ghoul Crew. Ahem.

39-year-old James Patton’s creepy activities were discovered after police got a warrant to seize his computer stemming from harassment charges involving an ex-girlfriend. But investigators found a bit more than they bargained for when they retrieved pictures from Patton’s computer showing Patton placing his member on the foot of a nude female corpse.

They also found an image of a female corpse with the legs spread open. “I can tell you that the defendant’s male sexual organ was seen in various poses with those of dead bodies,” said Donna Hawkins with the Harris County DA’s Office. Insert all kinds of SHUDDER here.

The photos were determined to have been taken in 2004, and Patton admitted to police that he last messed with a corpse a year ago when he was employed as funeral director at the Earthman Funeral Home. He was arrested over the weekend on a misdemeanor charge of abuse of a corpse and released after posting a $1,500 bond. A spokesperson for the company that owns Earthman Funeral Home released a statement trying to convince everyone that no, really, we are not creepy and we do not condone the fondling of your dead loved ones.

The funeral home’s parent company, Service Corporation International, told FOX 26 “When the authorities alerted us to an incident that allegedly occurred a number of years ago– before Mr. Patton worked for our company– we promptly removed him from the workplace.

Seriously, though. I never quite got people who fuck around with corpses. I’m not talking about some hot chick who may have just died of alcohol poisoning, I mean, what guy hasn’t found themselves in that situation, right? But a funeral home corpse? Ugh.

Police: Funeral Director Abused Corpse: MyFoxHOUSTON.com

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