September 28, 2009 at 9:12 am by  

Commerce, TX – That’s it. I never thought this day would come, but, it has. I am marking the date and time on my calendar – as of 5:00 a.m. on September 28th, I have officially heard it all. After today, I highly doubt that I will ever be shocked or by surprised by anything. Officers were called to the Commerce Hardware and Feed on a report of an elderly man blowing an unknown substance into the face of a store employee. The employee told officers that she had reached out to take the man’s check and he blew some whitish, powdery, substance in her face. Undaunted, the cashier turned to the register to process the check and when she turned to face the man, he blew the powdery shit in her face again. (I can’t believe she didn’t freak out and scream “Anthrax!!!”) Anyway, the old guy stood around for a few minutes then left the store and the cashier called the cops. She gave a description of the man and the cops were on his trail. When they caught up with the guy, they realized the powdery substance was pepper. They also realized the guy has a rather odd fetish – he gets off on women sneezing.

He is a sneeze fetishist. Heh. Who’da thunk? Thinking that had to be a joke, I researched the subject, and, sure as shit, there is such a thing. There are numerous websites and forums dedicated to the fetish – ABC News has an entire write-up on it. I gotta admit, I can’t honestly say that I will ever feel the same about sneezing again. As a matter of fact, I’ll probably giggle with each and every sneeze from now on.

Although the motivation for the assault was sexual in nature, the incident itself was not considered sexual assault, so they couldn’t charge the unidentified man with a sex crime. But, because the employee had to be seen at the hospital after the ‘assault’ for an irritated throat and arm (I have no clue how her arm got involved), the man is facing charges of aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury. His name is being withheld pending arraignment.

Attractive, isn’t it? *gag*


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