A Moment Of Silence Please

September 4, 2009 at 11:41 am by  

When I woke up today, I never thought that within hours, I would lose a very big part of my life – but that is exactly what happened. Nothing can ever come close to explaining the loss I feel right now, especially after losing you in such an unforeseen, violent accident. Sadder still is the fact that it is all my fault. This is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life and I shudder at that thought. Five years ago you came to my house with some stupid E-Tard for an after-party I was throwing. You were here the next morning waiting for me and never left. I am not going to lie, I have had many of you, but none that stuck around like you did, and fit me so well that I NEVER thought of another. That is why this loss is hitting me in the gut like a sledgehammer and I cannot believe this has happened.

RIP, shades.

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I have owned them all. Cheap gas station mirrored shades, too expensive sunglasses from Ray-Ban, Oakley and Serengeti. All of them lost within a month or stolen. But not you. When that dumb fuck walked in that night, I thought they were the most retarded looking sunglasses I had ever seen, especially since she was wearing them at night. But when I saw them on my coffee table the next morning, beside a full ashtray and the faint residue of Ketamine, I had every intention of crushing you in my hands out of pure contempt for the way you looked, and the idiot who had worn you last. But as I picked you up, and then placed them on my face, I heard a click that sounded like car seatbelt being fastened. For five years I have worn you ever, single day.

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The Aftermath

As I saw my own, horrified reflection in  you as I accidentally knocked you  off the counter and to the stone floor below, for a millisecond I tried to convince myself you would be ok. That this nightmare would have a happy ending and I would be picking you up and placing you on my face like I have approximately 1,825 times before.  But numbness washed over me as I watched you violently break in two – one half lodging under the dishwasher, and the other coming to rest against the stove. I realized that it was over. You were gone forever.

Even when counting Rhonda Walker, the stripper I dated in the early ’90s, no one will sit on my face as perfectly as you did. I will miss how you were a bit crooked like a small, mischievous grin. I’ll even miss the small dimples you would leave on the top of my head when I used you as a hat for prolonged periods and the unobtrusive way I could hook you to the front of my wife-beater letting your lightweight frame hang there almost unnoticed. So as I walk out of the house today to go pick up an inferior replacement, please know that without you in my life the world has just got a little sadder, and for about another hour, a whole lot brighter.

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