Milford, Connecticut – Dating sucks. Dating an identical twin probably sucks twice as hard.  I can’t say for sure, I’ve never dated a twin.  All I can imagine is that when things go bad, like they always do, you are twice as likely to run into that assholes face around town.  It’s just a chance I refuse to take.  Then there is the OTHER thing.  What if you get confused and accidentally put the moves on your boyfriend’s brother?  OR what if you go through what one young lady did when she was dating the twin of Officer Jared Rohrig?  Rohrig wanted to get laid, so he pretended he was his brother Joe and had sex with his girl.  Hawt!  Not.

Jared Rohrig

Jared Rohrig

A woman who was in a sexual relationship with Rohrig’s twin brother went to meet him.  She then got into the hot tub with Jared, thinking he was Joe.  Things must have really heated up in the hot tub because eventually they moved on to the bedroom and began to have sex.  I’m guessing that identical twins are identical everywhere, because it wasn’t until she noticed that her partner was missing a cowboy tattoo (snicker) on his hiney that she realized something was wrong.

The woman began to cry and questioned Jared about the tattoo.  She attempted to get up and leave and Rohrig pushed her down on the bed, covered her face with a pillow and continued to have sex with her against her will.  I don’t know how they are gonna try to spin it, but that sounds like rape to me.  Dude, you got busted.  Why couldn’t you just put it away and let the girl go?

Unfortunately, Rohrig continued to insist he was Joe and later drove the woman home in his own pick up truck, but did not know the way even though Joe had been there numerous times.  Rohrig eventually told the woman that his brother Joe had a steady girlfriend and did not want to meet her that day and told him to “go for it.”

Later, she received a text from Joe’s cell phone that read “I want to apologize for what my brother did last night. I had no idea what was going on until this morning.”

I’m not even gonna get into the whole ick factor of going where your brother has been because…ewww or the fact that this dumbass is a police officer and should have known better.  However, what I will say is this:  How pathetic are you if have to pretend to be someone other than yourself to get laid?  How lame is it that even though you look, sound and probably dress like your brother, you still have to imitate his personality to get some booty?  Even better, how does it feel to be second in a females eyes to someone with a freaking cowboy tattoo on his ass?!  That has to be a huge blow to the ego because, seriously, if I ever see a cowboy tattoo on a naked guys ass when we are about to do the deed, I might laugh myself into a stroke.

Rohrig was put on paid leave from the Orange Police Department and charged with sexual assault in the first degree and criminal impersonation.  His bond was set at $50,000.  Jared old boy, you may want to pretend to be your brother while you are locked up too.  I’m pretty sure your cellmates won’t appreciate the fact that you are a police officer.

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