Latreasa Goodman Was In Culinary Distress

March 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm by  

Fort Pierce, FLLast week, the Fort Pierce Police Department received three harrowing, terrifying 911 calls. The woman who placed those calls, Latreasa Goodman, was frantic…she wanted help and she wanted it now! The emergency? McDonald’s was out of Chicken McNuggets. *gasp* That poor, poor woman. No one should have to experience a tragedy like that.

Latreasa Goodman

Latreasa Goodman

The story begins at a McDonalds. Goodman entered the establishment and waited her turn in line. She approached the counter and ordered a 10-piece Chicken McNugget meal. At this time, it is unknown which dipping sauce she preferred. The cashier rang up the sale. Demonites, I have to be honest with you, I’m having difficulty with the writing of this story. The horror of it all is just too much…I guess I must soldier on and continue with the telling.

Goodman was informed that there were no McNuggets. There wasn’t a nugget to be found in the entire store. The cashier graciously offered to provide Goodman with a McDouble and a small fry, a bigger meal, at the same price. Goodman was crushed. A McDouble instead of juicy nuggets? How dare the cashier make such an offer. Goodman wanted her money back. The cashier, that evil woman, told Goodman that all sales are final. Goodman was irate! She called 911 to report the lack of nuggets and the lack of a refund. Dispatch took the woman’s call and, trying to soothe the tormented woman, told her that an officer was en route.

Meanwhile, back at the Mickey D’s, Goodman couldn’t be placated. ‘I don’t want a McDouble and a small fry!’ she wailed. Again, a call was placed to 911, and again, a dispatcher reassured Goodman that on officer was on his way. With lights and sirens blaring, I’m sure.

They must not have arrived soon enough for Goodman, because she called one more time. We all know that police officers in Florida have nothing better to do with their time, right? I mean, it’s Florida…what crimes could possibly happen there? Why weren’t they rushing to this woman’s aid?

The boys in blue finally showed up to rescue the damsel in culinary distress. Those bad police officers must have been siding with the evil cashier…they didn’t find missing nuggets to be a 911-type emergency. Goodman wasn’t going to be bullied though. She stood her ground. ‘This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency.’ Heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Latreasa Goodman, 27, was forced to leave the eatery without her nuggets. She was issued a notice to appear on a misuse of 911 charge. Tell it to the judge Latreasa. Idiot. And we wonder why cops beat some people…

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