Jonathon Guabello: Not The Sharpest Tool

October 2, 2008 at 11:05 am by  

Jonathon Guabello at the Dreamin' Demon

Fort Meyers, FL–The intelligent looking specimen you see pictured above is 29-year-old Jonathon Guabello. Jonathon and his girlfriend of five months had spent an entertaining evening out, drinking and fighting. Jonathon also added some Xanax to his alcohol consumption…not a good idea. Anywhooo, after returning home from the bar that evening, Jonathon decided he wanted some nookie, but the girlfriend wouldn’t oblige. Pffft…women! Jonathon came up with a brilliant idea to get his girl all hot-and-bothered and in the mood….he shot himself. Twice. In the arm. Hey, that always does it for me.

After getting turned down, Jonathon’s girlfriend said he got all irate. Leaving him to stew in his funk, the girlfriend took the dog and retired to the spare bedroom. Just when she gets all comfy and cozy, she hears gunshots. Two of them. Doing what any intelligent person would do, the girlfriend calls 911. At about this time, Jonathon bursts through the door and threatens to kill her is she calls for help. This obviously offended the dog cause he started snarling and growling at Jonathon. To no avail, Jonathon just laughed at the dog. He then told his girlfriend that if she tried to get him put into rehab, he’d kill her.

In his drunken/drugged stupor, Jonathon stumbled into the kitchen and proceeded to fall upon the stove. He is knocked out. Yep…taken out by an oven door. Someone is gonna wake up feeling mighty stupid.

Guabello was arrested for threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was treated for the gunshot wounds and taken to the county jail where he is being held on $100,000 bond. Authorities stated that this wasn’t the first time Guabello has been shot, he has a scar on his shoulder from a previous gunshot wound. It isn’t clear whether or not it was self-inflicted though.

Anonymous girlfriend, if you are reading this…run honey! Run fast and run far. This one is obviously a waste.

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