Minister Joe Barron Prays And Plays

May 17, 2008 at 7:07 am by  

Joe Barron on Dreamin' Demon

Plano TX and Bryan, TX – Children of the Lord, I’m gonna preach to you now. I’m gonna speak as I’ve been led, because my heart is heavy today with the news that another of His Shepherds has tried to lead a little child astray. Yes, brothers and sisters, Joe Barron, 52, is a married couples’ minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano. But people, say it with me now: It’s not right to entice a child into a sexual relationship and then drive 200 miles to knock off a piece of underage tail, can I get an amen?

Let’s have church, y’all. Come on, you atheists there in the back, just go with it. Prestonwood Baptist has almost thirty thousand members, and the Lord has blessed them mightily with the cash and the real estate in two Dallas locations. And we know – yes, Lord, we know the temptations of the flesh, for yea, some of us are talented in the areas of sin. Some more talented than others.

But what Joe Barron did, church, was sin. It was sin pure and simple, because over the course of weeks, he engaged a thirteen year old girl in sexual conversation on the internet. At least, he thought she was a thirteen year old girl. But really, she was an adult detective on a sex crimes task force, yea verily.

And then on that fateful day of Thursday, May 15, Joe Barron did choose to drive 200 miles to Bryan, Texas, dangerously near the Aggies, to meet the underage Lolita for whom he did lust in his heart and his loins.

But Hallelujah, brethren, joy is upon us because as the Lord looked on, He was displeased with Brother Joe, and he did cause the Bryan – College Station task force to be sitting there at the rendezvous point waiting for Barron to arrive for his date with a seventh-grader. And lo, when Joe Barron did show up for the sting, he was carrying upon him a digital camera and some condoms.

Joe Barron was arrested and put in the shackles of sin, sent to the purgatory of (… wait. Baptists don’t believe in purgatory.) Barron was taken to the Brazos County Jail and charged with online solicitation of a minor, hallelujah. But now someone has given their tithes to get Joe Barron out on $7,000 bond. Church, that might be a misuse of allocated funds. Next time, send it to us at The Dreamin’ Demon, so that we may continue to shine light into the darkness of sinful souls.

Go in peace. See you at the after-church buffet.

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