Charles Corwin Kills Kitten, Starts Shitstorm

January 16, 2008 at 12:36 pm by  

Boulder, CO – Charles Kenneth Corwin, 57, had just gotten his wife Stacy home from the hospital last month when his day went from bad to truly craptastic. Corwin was already stressed, as Stacy Corwin was still in precarious health. He’d set up all the medical equipment and gotten Mrs. Corwin settled in bed when he looked down to find one of the family’s kittens chewing through his wife’s oxygen tubing.

Corwin snapped. He saw that kitten chewing through his wife’s life support and flipped out. Bashing its head against a bookcase “about twelve” times, Corwin then threw the tiny corpse out the cat door of the trailer home and onto a porch. And just at that moment, kids, The Ghost Of Vengeful Kitteh came out to wreak a little havoc in Charles Corwin’s heretofore peaceful trailer park life.

Charles Corwin Junior, called “Chuckie”, was unhappy with Corwin’s means of feline discipline. Chuckie, 21, expressed his displeasure with dear ol’ dad both vocally and violently. When police arrived, they arrested Chuckie Corwin for menacing his father with a knife. At that time, police did not arrest Charles Corwin. Neither, Corwin says, did they remove any of the other ten cats in the home, despite being aware that the dead kitten had been beaten to death.

Two days later, Vengeful Kitteh Hell came to the Corwin’s home. When Chuckie Jr. arrived at the trailer after being in jail for two days, he went into the bathroom and shot himself to death.   According to a letter to The Denver Channel allegedly posted by Corwin’s daughter Emily, Corwin “was left to clean up the bathroom” after his son’s suicide once police left for the second time in three days.

Animal Control officers reportedly dropped off live animal traps at the Corwin home in order to eventually remove the remaining cats. And Charles Corwin has been informed that killing a kitten is a felony punishable by up to three years in prison, a $100,000 fine, and anger management classes.

The moral of this sad story? Nobody ever, ever skullcap a kitten, or The Ghost of Vengeful Kitteh will come for you.

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