Here, Now – Back in June I gave you a preview of Hugh Howey’s upcoming book I,ZOMBIE. Since I am a very important man, I got a beta version of the book to read and it was better than I expected, and I already expected it to be good. I’ve already reviewed Hugh’s best-selling WOOL series, giving it 5 stars, and it looks like I am giving him five more. Here’s the synopsis:
This book contains foul language and fouler descriptions of life as a zombie. It will offend most anyone, so proceed with caution or not at all. And be forewarned: This is not a zombie book. This is a different sort of tale. It is a story about the unfortunate, about those who did not get away. It is a human story at its rotten heart. It is the reason we can’t stop obsessing about these creatures, in whom we see all too much of ourselves.
I won’t be spoiling anything when I tell you that I,ZOMBIE is about a zombie outbreak told from the point of view of zombies.…Continue Reading
Where life had no value, Death sometimes had its price. — Sergio Leone
With these immortal words from FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE (for my money, the best of the DOLLARS trilogy), the film BIG TITS ZOMBIE (aka THE BIG TITS DRAGON, original title KYONYÛ DORAGON: ONSEN ZONBI VS SUTORIPPÂ 5) begins. The film follows stripper Lena Jodo (Japanese adult actress Sora Aoi) as she returns home from Mexico. She takes a brief dancing gig in a rundown strip club in a mostly-deserted suburb. With little to do, she and her fellow dancers — Ginko, Maria, Nene, and Darna — mostly squabble and lay around. A stray draft leads them to a hidden door in their dressing room, which they soon discover leads to the club’s basement. And what just happens to be stored in this basement? Why, a copy of the Book of the Dead, of course!
Reading aloud from the Book of the Dead results in all Hell breaking loose as the dead rise from their graves, hungry for the flesh of the living. Now it’s up to Lena and her friends to arm themselves in any way possible — chainsaws, katanas, lengths of pipe, etc.…Continue Reading
If you have been following Robert Kirkman’s zombie apocalypse epic The Walking Dead, then you already know. This book is not only the most brutal account of the dead returning to life ever told, it is also the most realistic. And I use the term “brutal” cautiously. Don’t misunderstand – The Walking Dead is chock full of good ol’ fashioned zombie killin’. Heads roll and guts spill on a regular in this story. But the real brutality of this wonderful little book is in what transpires within the mind of a survivor. Never before, on any medium, has a zombie survival story properly conveyed what would really happen to characters who are witness to such macabre acts of violence and destruction of human life on a daily basis. Issue #69 has our survivors finally making it to Washington, but will things get better…or worse?…Continue Reading
Another zombie comic on the horizon from the guys at Terminal Press conceived by Adam Miller and Rich Woodall. Titled ZombieBomb!, this comic is due in January 2010 and will be an anthology of zombie goodness featuring the work of over 50 writers and artists to bring “three to ten pages in length and spotlighting the absolute depths of zombie horror to the offbeat to straight up comedy.” And they are not joking. Shawn McManus (Swamp Thing, Sandman, Fables), Neil Vokes (Marvel / DC), Todd Dezago (Spiderman, Tellos, Perhapanauts), and Craig Rousseau (Captain America, Iron Man, Perhapanauts) are just a few writers and artists who provided their talent to the full color comic. You can get a lot more info from Cinema-Suicide’s Bryan White, who also contributed one of the stories about “three scuzzy pillheads who follow a little old lady home to steal her meds only to find out that her rickety old house contains a very dark secret.” Be sure to join the Facebook Fan Page if you want to show support and to stay up-to-date with the latest ZombieBomb!…Continue Reading
IOWA CITY, Iowa – Don’t say that some of us have not been warning you guys for a long, long time. One of our field operatives was almost arrested after attempting to exterminate a zombie in Iowa City. The zombie was spotted inside a restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus. Our agent feared for the safety of the living public and attempted to incapacitate the zombie by punching it in the face. This is not standard procedure, as noted in our Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, but the agent attempted to punch the zombie in the face a second time, breaking its nose. Our agent was able to flee with is life, while the zombie was last seen being transported to a “hospital” – or more likely the government facility it had escaped from. We will keep you informed of all the latest developments regarding the beginning of man’s destruction by the zombie horde. And agents, please read your handbooks. There are right ways and wrong ways to attack a zombie.…Continue Reading
The Bush (Jr.) Administration has done away with The United States as we know it. Just elected to its 4th term (With Arnold Schwarzenegger as Vice), they have disbanded Congress, banned public nudity,and entered into wars with most of the world. Faced with a situation in which there are not enough soldiers, a re-animation virus is developed in a government laboratory. The virus breeches containment of course, and soon the entire laboratory is overrun with zombies. A team of marines is sent in to gain control; one is bitten and later dies inside a strip club named Rhino. When he awakes as a zombie he bites Kat, the star dancer, who is transformed into the walking dead – and becomes a better and more popular stripper than when she was alive. The rest of the girls come to realize that they will have to transform as well, or face the prospect of losing all their customers to Kat. …Continue Reading
The world’s human population has been infected with a human version of mad cow disease. Anyone afflicted with this particular ailment is rendered a crazed zombie hell-bent on nothing but feasting on the flesh of anyone not suffering the effects of the virus. Columbus has survived the initial onslaught by following 47 rules of zombie survival and is now making his way towards his parents to see if they have survived as well. As he navigates the urban wasteland he teams up with a Dale Earnhardt loving redneck named Tallahassee. Traveling alone like Columbus, he has an uncanny knack for dispatching zombies and a real strong hankerin’ for a creme filled Twinkie. They decide to try and partner up for a bit and see how it works out and for a while, it’s smooth sailing for the odd couple. That is until they meet Wichita and Little Rock, two crafty sisters making their way towards Pacific Playland amusement park – rumored to be a zombie free zone. Against all of their better judgment these vagabonds join forces and must decide if trusting and depending on each other is worth abandoning the rules that have kept them alive this long.…Continue Reading
I don’t know about anyone else, but I fear that the horror genre may be dead. I settled in to read Dead City, by Joe McKinney. I was expecting cheese of the good variety. The cover of the paperback showed faces in the gloom, and a tagline straight from a horror flick: “They won’t stay dead.”
The Short Review: At least there are zombies.
The Long Review: Five hurricanes have swept the Gulf States. Riots have broken out in the afflicted areas. Remember Rita and Katrina? Yeah. Something like that, but more of it. Evacuees have been flown from Houston to San Antonio. Unbeknownst to everyone, some evacuees are hosts to a deadly virus, turning them into mindless revenants bent on devouring human flesh. Zombies, if you will. The novel is written first-person, from the point of view of Officer Eddie Hudson of the San Antonio PD. This book doesn’t fool around, because right in the first chapter, the shit starts happening. It starts with a call reporting a few people being drunk.…Continue Reading
The dead are walking the Earth and wiping out every living thing they can get their rotting fingers on. But these are not your shambling, herd-like zombie made popular in film, nor are they the newer running zombie full o’ rage – both of whose actions are dictated by an unexplainable need to feed on human flesh. These zombies talk, they drive, they shoot guns, they think, plan and organize – and humans are not the only species effected. These zombies are demons who enter the body of the recently deceased and are amassing an undead army under the leadership of Ob, a powerful demon hell-bent on destroying Earth. His motives are quite simple. He enjoys making God cry. Ob, along with his brethren, have a massive chip on their shoulder over being banished to the Void. Now that they are free they are gonna settle the score by destroying all of God’s creations, starting with Earth. They will not rest until they storm the Gates of Heaven itself, and Ob is able to drag God off his thrown by his beard.…Continue Reading
I. Hate. Vampires. Present tense. But I might be softening up a bit thanks to my new hero, Mario Acevedo. The shame is that I used to really like vampires. I thought they were much more cool back when they were less cool. Back when their existence was considered tragic. A curse that offset the thrill of immortality. Then they became a clique of badass goths. Now the trend seems to be progressing through this phase and into emo erotica. Pardon the pun, but what the undead really needs is a bit of new life breathed into them. Someone should come along and re-think vampire lore from the ground-up. Actually, an author has already done this. Meet the hero I mentioned above, Mario Acevedo.…Continue Reading
A likable, long-haired antiques dealer named George (Ray Lovelock) takes his motorcycle and heads out of the crowded city to do some business in Windermere. Along the way, he has an accident with Edna (Cristina Galbó), another traveler who has inadvertently backed her car into his motorcycle while at a gas station. While not serious, the accident does leave the motorcycle temporarily disabled. Feeling guilty and obligated, Edna agrees to take George to Windermere herself. She just needs to stop by the village of South Gate to visit her sister, Katie (Jeannine Mestre). Once there they find that Katie is delirious and her husband (José Lifante) has just been murdered moments earlier. To top things off, Katie has become the prime suspect but she adamantly denies having anything to do with her husband’s murder but rather a walking dead man (Fernando Hilbeck) committed the horrible act.…Continue Reading