When police arrived at the couple’s home, they reportedly heard the woman’s 36-year-old husband screaming, “It was you! It was you! You tried to cut my head off. You’re going to jail!”
The man told police he woke up to a running power tool on his neck. When he turned on the bedroom light, he saw his beloved wife standing there with the sawzall in her hand. This man is apparently a very deep sleeper – not only did he not wake when he heard the sawzall switch on, he also claims he was cut with a hatchet at some point.
Though the severity of his injuries are unknown, police did notice he was sportin’ a few cuts on his neck and shoulders. The man was treated at the hospital and released.
When questioned, the wife told police she had the tool in her hand because there had been an intruder in her daughter’s bedroom that had escaped through the kid’s bedroom window.…Continue Reading
Oakville, WA — No, that’s not a picture of Robert De Niro on crack, it’s 61-year-old Ron Antonson – he’s under investigation for placing an ad in a newspaper saying he would like to be a “big brother” to someone’s 7- or 8-year-old daughter.
The ad, placed in the Centralia Chronicle, read: ”I’m 61 years old, I’m retired and would like to be a big brother to your 7 or 8 year old daughter. I like fishing, going to dinner, movies, bowling, etc. Call Ron.”
What? No long walks on the beach? WTF kind of personal ad is this?
Authorities are concerned because of Antonson’s criminal history – he was convicted of indecent liberties, possession of child pornography and public indecency in 1995. Because of the laws at the time of his conviction, Antonson has never been required to register as a sex offender.
The charges, he claims, were all just a big misunderstanding. When asked why he pleaded guilty to said charges, Antonson reportedly replied, “I couldn’t prove myself, they took the word of a 10-year-old boy.”
When asked why he placed the ad, Antonson said he’s always wanted a daughter.…Continue Reading
MARYSVILLE, Wash. – Prosecutors have filed criminal charges against the teenage son of a Washington day care operator after three young girls say they were sexually assaulted at the all night day care.
Charging documents state that in April, a 4-year-old and a 10-year-old girl both told their families that 18-year-old Dakota Wilson had molested them while they slept. The older girl said it happened about 10 times prior, but she was afraid to report it because she thought she would get in trouble.
Then in May, another 5-year-old girl told her family that Wilson sexually assaulted her when she was in the bathroom and she was still suffering pain from the assault.
When questioned by police, Wilson initially denied the accusations, but would admit this wasn’t the first time he’d been accused of inappropriately touching young girls. He told them he had touched young girls sexually at his mother’s day care a year prior, when they lived in Idaho. He said he was able to curtail his urges to rape children by hanging out with friends and playing video games.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – An unidentified man was sent to the Harborview Medical Center after police and firefighters found him in a public park trying to roast his own chestnuts shortly after midnight on Wednesday.
The man, wearing crotch- and ass-less spandex chaps, had built a small fire in a fountain located in Seattle’s Prefontaine Place Park. He was apparently found gyrating over the flames, letting them touch his genitals and buttocks.
When asked just what in hell he was doing, the man said he was having a ‘weenie roast.’ Cue rimshot and laugh track.
Firefighters put out the fire and police brought him to the whacko-basket.
Though there’s no way for us to know what his real intentions were, whether this was some ritual to ward off space aliens or a desperate stunt to sell more spandex chaps, but I’d like to think of him as a sort of performance artist/comedian. I’ve been accused (and rightly so) of reaching too far for joke, but this guy literally put his dick in a fire and then said ‘weenie roast.’ For that, I salute him.…Continue Reading
EVERETT, Wash. — A young man allegedly trying to steal the motor of a boat has died after getting into a scuffle with the boat’s elderly owner.
A 67-year-old man observed the man, described as being in his 20s, breaking into his boat parked in his driveway. The homeowner called police before going out to confront the man. The two ended up in a physical confrontation with the senior getting the upper-hand and pinning the man to the ground.
When deputies arrived, they found that the boat’s owner was still holding the would-be thief on the ground, and that the young man was not breathing. Police attempted to revive him, but he was pronounced dead at the scene. The older man was not physically injured, but was taken to the hospital to be checked out.
A cause of death has not been determined at this point, but who cares. “I thought that was pretty cool that an old man could keep him at bay,” Neighbor Cindy Bye said. “I mean I`m sorry that he passed away but more power to the old man.”
No charges have been filed.…Continue Reading
Vancouver, WA — Police responded to a Vancouver Taco Bell Thursday evening after receiving a call from a patron at the restaurant who claimed a woman had tried to hawk her 3-day-old infant for the paltry sum of $500.
According to police, Heidi Lynn Knowles (née Heidi Gasaway) approached a female at the diner, handed her the infant and named her price. The woman, perhaps aware that any infant under $2,500 is bound to be a lemon, wisely declined Knowles’ pitch and called 911.
Deputies took written statements from the woman who called 911, from someone who had been with her, and from a Taco Bell employee — all corroborating the allegation that Knowles tried to sell the baby.
Knowles and the infant were soon found at a nearby motel. Though she denied trying to sell the child, police say she was “evasive” during questioning.
36-year-old Knowles was taken into custody and booked on charges of attempted baby selling – a Class C felony. She apparently had a shit ton of outstanding warrants for previous charges that included bail jumping, theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.…Continue Reading
Tacoma, WA – Talk about one hell of a loophole. Weldon Marc Gilbert, 47, was accused of giving young boys alcohol and spank their bare buttocks. Prosecutors said Gilbert allegedly engaged up to 20 teens in masturbation, oral sex and anal sex.
He pleaded guilty in April to 31 counts of production of child pornography, two counts of transporting a minor across state lines to engage in sexual activity and two counts of obstruction of justice after one of his victims called police.
Hundreds of DVD’s and tapes containing nearly 30 hours of child rape and molestation were confiscated from Gilbet’s home and used to convict him in federal court. He now gets to watch those tapes anytime he wants, while in jail because he serves as his own attorney, allowing him access to the evidence used against him.
“There is case law that that allows criminal defense attorneys access to evidence and courts have specifically ruled that they should have access to viewing child porn if it’s being used as evidence. This defendant is acting as his own attorney and therefore has the same access,” said Mark Lindquist, Pierce County prosecuting attorney.…Continue Reading
LYNNWOOD, Wash. - A man has been arrested after he allegedly kicked in the door of his ex-girlfriend’s home, then used some hair clippers to partially shave her head.
A 911 call was made last Friday in which a woman was reporting her ex-boyfriend was trying to get into her home. When police arrived at the location they found the front door kicked in and a man standing in a bedroom doorway holding hair clippers.
His ex-girlfriend was found crying hysterically in a bedroom littered with her hair from the man having shaved off the hair from the right and back of the 30-year-old woman’s head. The woman told police her boyfriend had always been controlling and jealous, but that in the time right before their breakup, it had gotten worse.
Last Wednesday she said while at her ex-boyfriend’s father’s home, he had threaten to shave off her hair and even tried to shove her inside a dryer. On this day he accused her of being inside her home with another man.…Continue Reading
RENTON, Wash. – Police have arrested a man and charged him with the murder of a teen who went missing nearly a year ago.
Kathy Chou, 19, left her home on April 18, 2010 and was never heard from again. Friends and family stated she had learning disabilities and was very naive. Police conducted searches and interviewed friends, but the case had gone cold with no leads as to her whereabouts. That is until June 23, a little over a year since Chou was last seen, when a man came to police and told them he was pretty sure he knew what had happened to the teen.
He said that on the night she vanished her ex-boyfriend, 22-year-old Ezekiel J. Watkins, came to his home with dirt and blood on his clothes. Watkins had been interviewed by police before, as he had dated Chou after meeting over the Internet, but he claimed they had broken up months ago. He also had an alibi in the form of a friend who told police on the night Chou went missing, Watkins was at his home.…Continue Reading
Bremerton, WA - Allen Wallace, 19, was arrested by Bremerton Police for having sexual contact with a 13-year-old autistic boy he admitted to meeting on Facebook.
The 13-year-old told family members that the two had sexual contact in the girl’s bathroom at local park, prompting the boy’s parent to call police.
According to court documents, Wallace reportedly told investigators that the two met over Facebook through a mutual friend, that the 13-year-old had called him and that the two decided to meet. They reportedly met at a local high school and walked to Evergreen-Rotary Park where the incident occurred.
Wallace told officers that he knew what happened was wrong ‘because of the age difference.’ Wallace was charged in Kitsap County District Court with second-degree rape of a child. He was held on $250,000 bail.…Continue Reading
Battle Ground, WA – Some teens in Washington have found themselves in a bit of trouble after getting caught shooting a cat in a drive-by, then later admitting to shooting up to 50 cats in a similar fashion all around the Battle Ground area.
Their efforts to rid the world of these evil creatures was thwarted on Sunday after they were pulled over by police who were called to the area after a cat had just been shot. The vehicle contained three idiot teenagers, two .22-caliber rifles (one which was loaded) and several hundred rounds of ammunition.
The two 16-year-olds and one 17-year-0ld were taken into custody and booked into juvenile detention on charges of drive-by shooting, unlawful discharge of a firearm, animal cruelty and possession of a loaded weapon in a vehicle. Once in custody, the boys started singing, admitting to shooting at least 50 cats in and out of the city limits. They are each being held on $25,000 bond.
The cat that was shot on Sunday belonged to Tina, who just had one of her other cats, Nellie, shot in the throat last month.…Continue Reading
Gig Harbor, WA – A man in Gig Harbor, Washington is probably sweating his ass off right now after the Feds took away some of his computers, suspecting him of partaking in the attack on Gene Simmons’ website last year.
For those of you not aware of this story, it all started after the KISS bassist, who I absolutely cannot stand, gave a speech last October in Cannes, France. Simmons spoke out against audio piracy and cyber sharing of music content, urging the entertainment industry to take a hard stance against it. “Be litigious, sue anybody,” Simmons demanded. “take their homes, their cars, don’t let anybody cross that line.”
This angered the online vigilante group Anonymous, who detests copyright laws. In response to Simmons’ speech, they took time out of harassing Scientologists to wage a DDoS attack on several of Simmons’ websites enesimmons.com, simmonsrecords.com and kissonline.com. In layman’s terms, that means they sent so many requests to his sites, that their servers become overwhelmed and basically shuts them down.
The attack, part of the group’s “OPERATION PAYBACK” initiative, would bring the sites down for a few days and according the the FBI, cost Simmons approximately $20,000 to $25,000.…Continue Reading
WASHINGTON – The parents of a 6-year-old girl are upset at their school district, accusing them of covering up an incident in which their daughter’s school bus driver was captured on video jerking their daughter to the floor by her backpack.
The driver, Dan Taylor, can be seen yelling at the kids in the bus to sit down. At one point Ashley Reavely stands up to talk to the kids sitting behind her. It’s then that Taylor grabs her backpack and jerks her backwards off her feet. While she lays on the ground, he berates her and tells her to go sit down…all while the bus is still moving.
Moments later, the still frustrated Taylor can be seen stopping the bus and yell at another kid, possibly putting his hands on him. I’m all for student safety and can understand the driver’s frustration at kids not sitting in their seats, but Taylor seems to be wound a bit tightly, and maybe the impressive, behind the back snatch-and-grab was a bit extreme.…Continue Reading
Chattaroy, WA — David Jewell’s 15-year-old son called 911 early Wednesday morning to report that his father had raped his 11-year-old sister the night before and was now trying to commit suicide. When deputies responded to the trailer home, they quickly learned that Jewell wasn’t going down without a fight.
Upon their arrival, deputies could hear yelling coming from the trailer and requested that dispatchers from the sheriff’s office call the home and try to talk Jewell out. Jewell remained in the home, but sent the children, ages 17, 15 and 11 out the front door. He then armed himself with an aerosol can and a lighter and began setting fire to the curtains, blinds and cabinets.
When deputies attempted to approach the crazy bastid, he waved the homemade flamethrower at them and threatened them with a knife. When he refused to drop the items, he was tazed and may have received a couple good thunks from one of the officers nightsticks. Deputies managed to keep the blaze under control until firefighters arrived.…Continue Reading
Spokane, WA — According to authorities, 46-year-old Dale Canfield has been brought up on numerous charges for repeatedly and regularly raping two young relatives over an eight year period. One of the girls was 11 when the abuse began, the other 13.
Canfield reportedly admitted to sexually abusing one of the victims, and claimed he tried to get the girl pregnant in hopes of starting a family. In 2008, he apparently convinced the girl she was pregnant with his child and talked her into moving out of state where “they had sexual intercourse all the time.”
The other victim told police Canfield abused her from 2003 to late last year, claiming Canfield provided her with alcohol, marijuana and crack.
Police say the girls only recently came forward because they fear what Canfield may do to them. One of the victims said he has threatened to kill her in the past.
Police have seized a video recording of at least two sexual encounters between Canfield and his young victims. And when the dicksneeze was arrested, he reportedly told police, “This is what you get for falling in love.”
Canfield is to be arraigned on February 10th.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – No mug on this one, so here’s a picture of an old man holding his cock. A 46-year-old man with a history of indecent exposure convictions was jailed after allegedly going full monty at a neighborhood bus stop last month.
A rather perturbed motorist called police on January 19 after spotting James Amundson’s nekkid ass doing a solo tango at a Green Lake bus stop at about 8:30 p.m. The unidentified witness told police Amundson was “was dancing around and acting strangely.” Sooo, he did what any disgusted and mortified human being would do…he circled the block and returned for more. When he drove by the second time, Amundson was already half-way into his second act and was fondling himself.
Apparently enthralled unable to believe what his eyes were seeing, the confused motorist circled the block again. When he drove back by the third time, Amundson was still at it…this time he was reportedly laying on his side, one leg lifted up in the air, exposing himself.…Continue Reading
MONROE, Wash. – After Saturday night church services, officials performing a head count at Monroe Correctional Complex realized they were missing Byron Scherf, a three strikes inmate serving a life sentence for rape and assault.
After a short search, he was located in the lobby of the prison’s chapel and informed officers he was trying to escape. While that may have been true, what he didn’t tell officers was what he had been up to inside the chapel. That would be found out about an hour later.
Inside the chapel they would discover the body of 34-year-old Jayme Biendl, an eight year veteran at Monroe who was solely in charge of securing the chapel. She had been strangled to death. She also fought for her life as reports are that Scherf’s arms were covered with scratches an bite marks.
He has since been placed in a segregation unit and has asked for a lawyer.
Superintendent Scott Frakes stated that Biendl has never expressed any concerns for her safety, but had complained about being the only person in charge of that area and having a lot of ground to cover.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA — Duane Starkenburg admits that he goes to the park every day to watch women run – he likes to watch them “jiggle and bounce.” What’s more, according to authorities, he kinda likes to rub his nose in their asses, too.
The first incident happened way back in August. A woman told police she was jogging with her dog in the park near Coleman Pool when a man she had just passed tripped, grabbing her hips as he fell. “He did a face plant in my butt,” she told detectives. “And lingered for a few moments.” When she broke free of the man, she looked back and saw him staring at his hands in confusion. “It was an act. He was like, ‘What just happened,” the woman said.
Another victim told police that on December 8, she was walking up the stairs to reach the parking lot of the park when a man appeared at the foot of the stairs “out of nowhere.” As he passed her on the stairs, he pleaded for help, claiming he had been injured while running or something.…Continue Reading
Kent, WA – On December 17th, Gordon McWhirter woke up in the middle of the night after hearing a noise. In his robe and slippers he went to investigate and discovered someone was trying to steal the family’s 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Another resident of the apartment complex called 911 and reported that a naked man was outside yelling. When police arrived they discovered McWhirter unconscious and naked, with only one slipper on. What happened to his bathrobe? Well, while McWhirter was in a coma for several weeks and suffering from broken bones, a cut spleen and serious injuries to his foot after being dragged, 21-year-old Harold Clayton Donald was home celebrating an early Christmas with his mother. Guess what this thoughtful guy did for an early Christmas present for the woman who gave birth to him… He gave her the victim’s bloody robe. It’s the thought that counts, right? The bathrobe was green and had a large cat image on the back, which made it easily identifiable by the victim’s wife.…Continue Reading
Spokane, WA – There is very little information on this one so far, but what is known is friggin’ bizzare. Spokane police say a man walked into a Taco Bell restaurant at about 8:00 Monday evening, headed straight to the back of the kitchen, and without a word, locked himself inside a large walk-in cooler. Restaurant employees immediately called 911 and police arrived on scene just minutes later. It took police officers an estimated 15 minutes to dismantle the heavy door and pry it open – once inside, they found 42-year-old Richard Thomas dead. Officer Jennifer DeRuwe said there were no obvious signs of trauma. The man was dressed normally and it didn’t appear as if he had died of exposure. Police do not believe Thomas had any connection to the restaurant. Law enforcement officials will look at autopsy results to point to a definitive cause of death. In other Taco Hell news, a couple of Taco Bell employees in Oklahoma City were arrested Thursday night after allegedly imbibing during their lunch hour and returning to the restaurant afterwards to tear shit up.…Continue Reading