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SerenityRICHLAND, WA – Police have arrested 36-year-old Jose Aguilar after the 9-month-old baby of his girlfriend was found dead in her crib, suffering blunt force trauma and severe vaginal trauma.

Jennifer Reedy told detectives that on Thursday night, Aguilar wanted to have sex but she told him no. She said Aguilar told her he would take care of himself and left to go to the bathroom where he presumably jacked off for 30 minutes and then returned. Jennifer said when she woke up at 3 a.m. and noticed Aguilar was gone, she didn’t care and she did not look for him.

When she woke up a couple of hours later and noticed Aguilar was still gone, she got up and found her car was missing and so was the cash in her purse. She called Aguilar who informed her he was on his way to California. She did not check on Serenity until around 9 a.m. and found her purple in her crib.

Serenity’s death would be ruled a homicide after it was determined that Serenity had died from two, separate skull fractures and had suffered severe trauma to her vagina.…

Marc O'LearyLynnwood, WA – A woman who was raped in 2008 is suing the the Lynnwood police, saying they discounted her story, ignored evidence and ended up charging her with making a false statement to police.

In August 2008, a man with a butcher knife broke into the apartment of the then 18-year-old victim, gagged her, bound her hands with a shoelace and raped her. Before leaving, he told her he’d taken photos of her and knew her name.

The victim reported the attack immediately, and police would gather evidence from the house, including stained sheets, the shoelaces, blindfold and gag. A medical examination of the victim would show she had injuries to both her wrists and abrasions on her genitals. Doctors would also collect DNA specimens from the victim.

The lawsuit alleges none of this evidence mattered to detectives Jerry Rittgarn and Sgt. Jeff Mason. They did not believe she was telling the truth based on comments from three people who doubted her story. One was her former foster mother and the other was a friend who had spoken to the victim on the phone the night she was raped.…

Maureen KellyYACOLT, WA – Search crews are still looking for 19-year-old Maureen Kelly after she wandered away from a campsite to embark on a spiritual quest wearing nothing but a fanny pack.

Skamania County Undersheriff Dave Cox said a friend of Kelly’s reported the girl missing in the early Monday morning when Kelly didn’t return to the campsite at Canyon Creek Campground.

Kelly went on her quest naked, only wearing a fanny pack that contained a small knife and a compass. Search crews were able to determine Kelly managed to cross a creek and climb up to Forest Road 54, on the other side of the canyon from the campground.

“Where she entered the creek is amazingly steep. It’s called Canyon Creek Campground for a reason,” said Sharon Ward, with Pacific Crest Search Dogs. “It’s very, very steep. So how she got down there barefoot is a wonder. And how she came up out of the bottom is a wonder.”

Ward said Kelly’s tracks stopped on the paved road, and search crews have not determined if she ever left the road and re-entered the woods.…

Tyler DeutschTACOMA, WA — Police have charged 25-year-old Tyler Deutsch with attempted murder after allegedly putting his 6-week-old daughter in the freezer to stop her from crying.

The infant’s 22-year-old mother called 911 on Saturday to report she’d left the infant in the care of her boyfriend but that when she returned, she witnessed Deutsch taking their infant daughter out of the freezer in their home.

Although the baby was unresponsive and had a temperature of 84 degrees when she was rushed to Tacoma’s Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital, doctors expect the infant to recover.

According to Pierce County Sheriff’s Department spokesman Ed Troyer, Deutsch told sheriff’s deputies he wasn’t trying to kill his daughter, but had put the infant in the freezer to stop the girl from crying. She had been chillin’ in the ice box for about an hour.

“It was only a six-week-old kid – can’t do much other than cry – and from what we understand he wanted the baby to stop crying so he put the baby in the freezer,” Troyer said. …

Tennyson Salopek JacobsonNORTH BEND, WA – After a man broke into a couple’s home in Washington, he was stabbed to death by Tennyson Jacobson as he fought with the woman’s husband.

Police were called to the Jacobson home around 1:40 a.m. Monday after receiving 911 calls in reference to a possible home invasion. Kyle Jacobson told police he was at home with his wife, daughter and mother-in-law, when he heard his dog barking. He said that he got up to check on the dog and found a man standing in his hallway. I can only imagine what a nightmare situation that must have been for that guy, especially with his wife and young daughter in the home.

Jacob and the intruder began fighting and Jacob’s wife, Tennyson Jacobson, jumped into the fray to help her husband. Unfortunately for the intruder, the couple are both Crossfit trainers and Tennyson brought along a little friend – a knife she’d grabbed from the kitchen. She put an end to all the nonsense when she used the knife to give the stranger a brand new hole.…

Barry Alan Swegle.Seattle, WA – A possible dispute over property lines between neighbors turned dangerous and somewhat hysterical when a 51 year-old Barry Alan Swegle hopped in a bulldozer and started smashing into houses.

Swegle is reported to have a lengthy criminal history which includes public indecency, stalking and burglary. He is also known by his neighbors as the guy who digs random holes with his bulldozer late at night. It would seem it was simply a matter of time before Barry was featured here at the Dreamin’ Demon for something.

One of his neighbors, Barbara Porter, claims she knew this was coming. She states “We all said one of these days Barry is going to take that dang cat and he’s  going to start tearing up people’s property and that’s what he did.” Well then. The rampage started sometime around noon on Friday, when Barry decided to play Blastcorps in real life. I hope Joe Lieberman doesn’t hear about this one.

Barry fired up an  International Harvester TD-25 and took out his grumpies on his neighbors’ property.…

escalatorSeattle, WA – Maurecio Bell, 42, was strangled to death in a drunken mishap on a King County Metro escalator at University Street Station.

Early Sunday morning, Bell was was found unconscious and unresponsive at the bottom of  the escalator after his clothing got snagged and he was subsequently choked to death.

Surveillance video was reviewed and showed Bell, with an open bottle of brandy in his back pocket, staggering and then leaning against the escalator wall as he was riding it down. Near the bottom he loses his balance and falls on his back. Bell made no effort to get up until he got to the bottom, but by that time, it was too late.

Bell can be seen trying to sit up only to find the back of his shirt had gotten caught in the escalator. He is pulled back down and remained that way until he was discovered by a passerby who shut off the escalator and tried to revive him by performing CPR.

“It’s an unfortunate and tragic accident, and we’ve never seen anything like it before,” said King County Metro spokesman Jeff Switzer.…

woman on planeWashington – The FBI have arrested 39-year-old Saurabh Agarwal after they say he molested a sleeping female passenger on an American Airlines flight.

American Airlines Flight 1142 was en route to Virginia from Miami and one passenger, who had fallen asleep, awoke to find Agarwal “hugging her body, with his hand inside her bra, fondling her breast.”

The woman did not say or do anything about Agarwal fondling her tits because she said she was afraid. Instead, she pretended to be asleep as Agarwal continued to milk her udders and “squeezed her nipple.” He only stopped when a flight attendant approached with a refreshment cart. He ordered a scotch then resumed kneading the dough as the woman continued to pretend being asleep.

Finally deciding enough was enough, the woman pretended to wake up. Argawal began making small talk with her as if nothing had happened, but continued to lean into her even though the armrest was between them. She finally left her seat, pretending she had to use the restroom, then went to the back of the plane and told the flight crew what had happened.…

EasterSEATTLE, WA – An Easter egg hunt turned violent at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle after two moms got into a physical altercation.

According to the police report, one woman pushed a child aside so her own child could get their hands on one of Lucifer’s brightly colored testicles. The mother of the child who was cast aside confronted the other mom and the two began fighting.

Other people at the egg hunt had to separate the women three or four times before they finally disengaged. By time police arrived on the scene, only one mother was there. She was sporting a bloody nose, but refused to press charges against her attacker.

I’m tempted to contact the police officer who responded to the scene and see if he’d like to write for the site. Officer Jonah Spangenthal-Lee used four terrible, egg- related puns inside the following report:

Police were called to the Woodland Park Zoo on Sunday after an Easter egg hunt turned rotten (groan).

The hard-boiled tale began around 1 pm, when one woman reportedly pushed a child aside as her own child was scrambling toward some brightly colored eggs. 

Nathon BrooksMOSES LAKE, WA – Police have charged 14-year-old Nathon Brooks with two counts of attempted first-degree murder after they say he got angry with his parents over being grounded, and then shot them both.

Moses Lake police say the shooting happened Friday night at the family’s home after Nathon got upset with his parents after they grounded him for being tardy from school. Part of his punishment was that he could use no electronic devices, which included his ability to play video games.

Nathan vented his frustration that night as he listened to music and contemplated killing his parents. He ended up taking a .22 caliber handgun from the family’s gun cabinet, loading it, and sneaking into his parents’ bedroom as they slept.

He first shot his father, 38-year-old Jonathan Brooks, in the back of the head. He then shot his mother, 39-year-old Elizabeth Brooks, in the face. He fired at his father again as the man rolled out of bed, then fired at his mother two more times when she tried to sit up.…

rachelle BraatenCENTRALIA, WA – Rachelle Braaten, a 24-year-old idiot in Washington, was arrested after video captured her letting her 22-month-old take a hit from a bong.

In the video, you can see Braaten offer the lit bong to the boy who briefly sticks his face on top of the lit bong while other morons in the room start laughing.

When police interviewed Braaten, she reportedly told detectives, “Well, it was like, you can’t see in the camera, but the person taking it, and then there was like a group of people there. And I guess it was a joke and stupid mistake that wasn’t really funny.”

Braaten says she feels “horrible” about the incident. “He’s two and he shouldn’t have known about that,” Braaten said. “He shouldn’t have that in his body.”

Rachelle Braaten was arrested and charged with manufacture of marijuana and delivery of a controlled substance to a minor. She is in jail on a $5000 bail.

The boy’s father was also arrested after police found firearms and 40 marijuana plants inside the couple’s home.…

Michael “Chad” BoysenSEATTLE, WA – Police are searching the 26-year-old Michael “Chad” Boysen, a man who they say killed his grandparents and stole their car just hours after the elderly couple picked him up from prison.

Michael Boysen has been incarcerated since 2006 after being convicted of several robbery related charges. His grandparents picked him up from prison after he was released, and were taking him to their home where they had prepared a room for him to live in.

A family member became concerned when the couple would not answer their door, so their daughter was called. That’s when the bodies of  82-year-old Robert R. and his wife, 80-year-old Norma J. Taylor, were found dead inside the home.

Police believe they were killed sometime Friday night or Saturday morning. Police have not released how they died, aside from saying they were not shot.

“We are at a loss as to why he killed them,” the sheriff said. “We don’t know what the motive is.”

Detectives believe Boysen is trying to find weapons because he’d been searching the Internet for “gun shows” across the Northwest and Nevada. …

Abner CandaEverett, WA – A guard at Snohomish County Jail has been charged with custodial misconduct after he allegedly traded cookies for sex with an inmate.

Abner Canda, 58, has been accused of giving a 22-year-old female inmate homemade cookies in exchange for sexual favors.  The woman went to police in January saying she felt guilty about what she had participated in.  “I’m sorry,” she told police.  “I’m trying to change and be a better person now.  I’m ashamed for my actions.  That’s why I’m saying something.”

The female, only identified as “C.D.”, told police that she willingly showed Canda her breasts in exchange for some food last May.  She was released from jail, but once again found herself as an inmate in October 2012.  She states on November 19th, Canda “came into my room behind me and kissed me and touched my breasts and also put his hand down my pants and placed his finger inside of [my vagina].” Then, in January, she states Canda performed oral sex on her and gave her homemade chocolate chip cookies in return for the sexual favors.…

Kevin VossHoquiam, WA — Like a scene ripped directly from one of my nightmares, a registered sex offender has been accused of drilling holes in a neighbor’s ceiling so he could watch her from above.

Kevin Voss, of unknown age, and his unidentified roommate apparently gained access to a shared crawlspace and drilled holes in the woman’s fucking ceiling. They then proceeded to jerk off as the woman slept and did what most women do behind closed doors. You know, like eat, read, masturbate, dance nekkid while singing show tunes, etc.

The creepy shenanigans quickly ended, though, after the victim’s cats alerted her to the goings-on in the crawlspace.

“My cats all went in the kitchen, and they were looking up at the ceiling. And when I looked up, I saw somebody walking across the ceiling. And I could hear them walking,” the woman said. “I heard a noise up there. And when I hit the ceiling, one of them fell. And the other got scared, and jumped out a hole and ran down the stairs.…

Stetson TedderEverett, WA — A Washington man is accused of hog-tying his 4-year-old stepdaughter with zip ties and duct tape before shooting her 36 times with an Airsoft pellet gun because she woke him up early.

Stetson Tedder, 26, was arrested Thursday on charges of second-degree assault of a child and unlawful imprisonment.

The injuries were discovered after the child’s grandmother, believing she had chicken pox, had her seen at the hospital. A registered nurse at Providence Regional Medical Center Everett counted more than 36 red marks over the girl’s body. After it was determined the child was not suffering from an illness, medical staff called 911.

The child reportedly told her grandmother Tedder tied her up and shot her with the pellet gun as punishment for waking him up.

For those of you unfamiliar with Airsoft guns, they fire plastic BBs made to sting but not break the skin.

Regardless, Tedder “knowingly inflicted bodily harm which by design caused pain as to the equivalent of that produced by torture,” Snohomish County sheriff’s deputies said.…

Sharee SeminoleSeattle, WA — A woman in Seattle has been charged with assault after she beat her boyfriend unconscious while their baby was strapped to her chest.

After getting into an argument at home, 25-year-old Sharee Seminole and her boyfriend got into a physical altercation at the intersection of 25th Avenue South and South Jackson Street.

Witnesses describe watching Seminole, who weighs 270 lbs, throw her boyfriend to the ground then start kicking him in the chest before stomping on his face at least eight times. During all of this, Seminole had the couple’s baby strapped to her chest.

One witness who confronted Seminole said the woman asked, “You know how many times he’s kicked me?” before halting the rearranging of her boyfriend’s face and leaving the scene.

Emergency personal found Seminole’s unconscious boyfriend and rushed him to the hospital. Police described the man’s nose as “severely broken” and displaced. Police found Seminole at a nearby convenience store where she had purchased a bag of Funyuns.

They described Seminole as being belligerent with slurred speech.…

breasticlesEVERETT, WA — Police have arrested a Washington woman after they say she smothered her boyfriend to death with her breasts.

Last Friday night, 50-year-old Donna Lange and her 51-year-old boyfriend had some friends over to their mobile home to get their drink on. Over the course of the evening, Lange and her boyfriend began arguing.

Both Lange and her boyfriend were around 5 foot 7 inches tall, but Lange outweighed him by about 20-pounds. I have no pictures of Lange, so I’m not sure if the extra weight is from a pair of 10-pound titties, or just overall stature.

Regardless, witnesses in the mobile home said that during one of these arguments, Lange was seen throwing her boyfriend down on the ground and her boyfriend could be heard demanding that Lange get off of him. They later found Lange on top of her unresponsive boyfriend with her breasts covering his face.

After someone called 911, medics arrived and tried reviving Lange’s boyfriend, but he would be pronounced dead at the hospital.…

Seattle, WA — Yesterday I reported on a South Carolina man who was found guilty of impregnating his 13-year-old daughter and will only serve one year behind bars. Now we have a story out of Washington in which a man confessed to repeatedly molesting his 2-year-old daughter and a judge let him walk free.

Jason Sherwood was indicted on child molestation charges in 2011 after he confessed to molesting his 2-year-old daughter on multiple occasions. The tapes were made years after the abuse when Jason and his wife, Susan, decided to start taping their conversations as they went through a divorce. “We would talk and I was very confused, and I think he was dealing with a lot of denial so we started using the tape recorder. We started taping our conversations,” Susan said.

In these taped conversations, you can hear Jason admit to his wife that he molested their daughter. Susan asks, “How many times did you take her out of the bath and masturbate while she was sitting naked on your lap?” Jason answers, “Oh you know Sue, I don’t remember, but it was probably between five to 10 times.”

Jason goes into more detail later in the tape.…


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