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No teefsLakewood, WA – A 52-year-old man was arrested Sunday after angrily gumming his roommate’s arm because she refused to clean his ear.

Kenneth Chambers and his roommate were apparently involved in some sort of strange altercation that stemmed from her refusal to clean his ear. One thing led to another, and Chambers ended up ripping the woman’s bedroom door off its hinges.

The alleged victim told police that at that point, she sat on Chambers’ lap and tried to talk to him, but he refused to be placated and pushed her to the floor. He then gummed her wrist. And then, well, he choked her a little bit and poured water all over her, damaging her hearing aid. When she stated she was going to call 911, Chambers threatened to kill her, she said.

When questioned by police, Chambers claimed the woman hit him… he was only trying to defend himself. He did admit to gumming her, but said it couldn’t have hurt because he doesn’t have any teeth.

Chambers was arrested after a witness confirmed the victim’s account of the story.…

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Jesse BrisbinSEATTLE, WA – Jesse Brisbin, a 30-year-old child molester, got his ass beat after he tried kidnapping a 6-year-old girl from a Seattle park.

The girl was playing with her sibling at Benefit Park when Brisbin, a twice-convicted child molester, tied a shirt around the girl’s head and told her he was going to “take the poison out of her” and began dragging her out of the park.

She was able to break free and a group of 20 people – including the child’s father and two of his friends – chased after Brisbin as he fled the scene and surrounded him. The girl’s father reportedly made Brisbin use his own cell phone to call 911 and report what he’d done.

When officers arrived on the scene, they found Brisbin on the ground getting his ass kicked by the child’s father and his friends. The beating started after Brisbin reportedly tried attacking one of the men after he was confronted. (*wink*)

Police arrested Brisbin placed him in the King County Jail on suspicion of kidnapping charges.…

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Cup 'O PeeKennewick, WA — A transient who may or may not be mentally ill was arrested Saturday evening after allegedly pissing into a cup at Old Country Buffet, then drinking it in front of the already disgusted/sickened diners.

Ryan Bravo, 26, reportedly dined at the establishment that evening, and after his dinner date left, stood up and urinated into a plastic cup. Then, while standing at his table, he was all CHEERS! and slurped it down.

After receiving several complaints, management asked Bravo to kindly exit the premises. He was arrested just outside.

Bravo has been charged with public urination and remains behind bars in the Benton County Jail. Fortunately for him, he’s been banned from the establishment for five years.

Speaking of pee… gimme your bad buffet stories. I have none and must live vicariously through you people. And point and laugh and stuff.…

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Keshia ShawTACOMA, WA – A former sixth-grade teacher was sentenced to six months in jail for sexually abusing a 12-year-old student for over a year, but with four months already served, will spend the remaining two months at home.

Keshia Shaw was a math and science teacher at at Tacoma’s Gray Middle School when she first started molesting one of her students in 2007. The sexual abuse continued for over a year and a half, stopping only after the boy heard a sermon about molestation and finally told his mother what was happening.

Shaw would eventually plead guilty to two counts of second-degree child rape, in exchange for a six-month sentence. Judge McCarthy delivered the sentence on Tuesday, but was reluctant. He said he’d read through the court documents and didn’t like that Shaw kinda shifted some of the blame on the victim.

However, standing before the judge, Shaw took full responsibility for her actions and Judge McCarthy ended up crediting her for the four months she’s already served, and agreed to let her go home with a monitoring device to serve out the remaining two months.…

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Brad GeorgeEVERETT, WA — Brad George, 16, has been charged with murder after he confessed to beating his adoptive mother to death with a dumbbell.

Two weeks after getting off probation for assaulting a staff member at a school for troubled youth, George murdered 37 -year-old Georgina Latshaw, the woman who has taken care of him for the last ten years.

George called 911 on Friday afternoon after coming home from school to find his mother’s car at home, although she should have been at work, and the front door of his family’s apartment open. When he could not get his mother to answer his cell phone, he called for police.

When arriving officers entered the apartment, they found Latshaw dead in her bed. She had apparent blunt-force trauma to the head, and a bloody dumbbell was found in a nearby garbage can. Robbery did not seem to be a motive as there were no signs of forced entry, and money was reportedly lying out in the open in George’s room.…

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clothes ironWOODLAND, WA – Teresa Hernandez is facing two counts of child abuse after the 35-year-old admitted to using a clothes iron to burn the hand of her boyfriend’s 3-year-old, then pushing him down a flight of stairs two days later.

The boy’s father was not at home during these assaults, but Hernandez explained to him that the burn on the boy’s hand came from him touching a hot iron after she had left the room. The boy’s father accepted this explanation, but took his son to the hospital two days later after noticing he was walking unsteadily.

Emergency room staff at Legacy Salmon Creek Hospital called police when they saw the third-degree burn on the back of the boy’s hand and found he was suffering from a severe head injury. The boy was taken to Randall Children’s Hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to treat his brain injury. As of Thursday morning, the boy was listed in fair condition.

When interviewed by police, Hernandez first repeated the “touched the iron” story she’d given the boy’s father.…

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Man Claims Mean Barber Stabbed Him In The Nuts

December 13, 2013 at 2:21 am by  

Bad barberSeattle, WA — An unidentified man is nursing a busted lip and a sore groin after a really mean barber allegedly stabbed him in the cojones with a pair of scissors and punched him in the face.

The man told police he was just getting his hair cut Monday, when one of the salon’s other barbers started giving him shit. The two apparently have some sort of long running feud-type thing going on. He knows the barber from around the neighborhood, he told police, but the two certainly aren’t friends. He also told police the barber had assaulted him on previous occasions, but he never reported it.

Anyways, the alleged victim had had enough of the man’s crap that day, and after he was finished in the chair, asked him to kindly knock it the fuck off. The mean barber reportedly responded with a death threat of sorts, in addition to threats of a stabbin’ and a punchin’. And with that, the victim said, the barber grabbed a pair of scissors and attempted to stab him in the gut.…

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Warrant Issued For Serial Drive-By Masturbator

December 12, 2013 at 8:05 am by  

FapSeattle, WA — Police have issued an arrest warrant for one Steven Lee Schmidt — a 51-year-old, Chevy  Silverado pickup truck drivin’, serial drive by wanker. Sorry, alleged wanker.

Schmidt apparently started terrorizing the residents in the 7000 block of Rainier Avenue South in late August. That was when police received their first report of a nekkid, masturbating man driving around the neighborhood. The woman who called to report that particular incident told police  the man drove by her home and then returned an hour later, all nekkid and rubbing himself and stuff. She said he appeared to be looking at a group of children playing nearby. The woman’s husband reported having seen the same man doing the same thing about three or four weeks prior.

Another woman told police she first witnessed the man tickling his pickle in late May. According to charging papers, the 27-year-old woman said the alleged flounder pounder passed her home about nine times. She told police she was able to snap a photo several times.…

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Caran JohnsonVancouver, WA - A police scanner enthusiast in Vancouver unwittingly live-tweeted the fatal crash that killed her husband Wednesday afternoon.

It all started after The Columbian started reporting the crash on Twitter based on emergency scanner traffic. Caran Johnson, known as @scancouver on Twitter, has been listening to police scanners since college and also began tweeting about the crash. This isn’t out of the ordinary, as Johnson seems to be known to local news outlets and has more than 13,000 community-related tweets.

Over the next four hours, Johnson tweeted about the crash. She first began commenting on how horrible it was that someone had died, and how much she hated Highway 205. These tweets soon turned to worry about her husband, Craig Johnson, who had left work feeling ill and had not made it home yet. Even worse, he used that same stretch of highway and he wasn’t answering his phone.

After some back and forth between her and police as she tries to get more information regarding the vehicles involved in the crash, her worst fears are realized when she is notified her husband was in one of the vehicles, and he had died at the scene.…

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needleRedmond, WA – The ex-wife of Eric Lehtinen arrived at his home Tuesday to pick up their 4-year-old son and found that Lehtinen had attempted to kill the boy by injecting him with heroin.

When the unidentified woman got inside the locked home after a job interview, she found Lehtinen unconscious, as was their son who also had a syringe sticking out of his chest. Both were rushed to the hospital where staff found indications of needle marks on the boy’s neck and buttocks.

Tests would reveal he’d been injected with a drug cocktail of heroin, ketamine, morphine, codeine, and other drugs. The latest reports have him listed in stable condition, but doctors are unsure of what long-term damage the drugs may have caused.

Lehtinen was released from the hospital and sent straight to jail. He did not collect $200. He has been charged with attempted first-degree murder. He’s being held on $3 million bail after prosecutors described him as a “man who is willing to inject his 4-year-old son with heroin in an attempt to kill the boy” and a “dangerous man willing to do anything.” If convicted, Lehtinen will be looking at a minimum of 15 years behind bars.…

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Bruce AlbeeKELSO, WA — Police have arrested a man after he admitted to killing his 82-year-old stepdad during a fight over beer.

According to police, 56-year-old Bruce Albee was questioned after someone called regarding a suspicious man near a vehicle. When questioned, he told the officer that the car was stolen and then attempted to flee on foot.

He didn’t get far before he was apprehended; he then admitted to the officers that the car was his stepfather’s, who they would find dead inside the home the two men shared. Police went to the home and found the body of 82-year-old Charles Marion Rees.

When interviewed, Albee told police that he and Rees lived together and had gotten into an argument over beer that turned physical. No word on whether the argument was over an actual beer, or an argument over beer-drinking in general.

Albee said Rees fell and struck his head on a table before he used a rope to strangle Rees to death. Afterward, he placed Rees on a bed and covered him with blankets.…

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Jose Luis Pena-MaldenadoCovington, WA— We just reported on a day care being shut down after the owner hit a kid in the face with a metal chair, and now we have a day care in Washington that has been shut down after the owner was accused of molesting two girls in his care.

Jose Luis Pena-Maldenado and his wife owned and operated El Carrusel Family Childcare for over a decade until last month, when 40-year-old Pena-Maldenado admitted molesting two girls, ages 4 and 7, since January 2012.

According to court documents, one of the girls told investigators that Pena-Maldenado would touch her at nap-time and make her look at pornographic magazines. Both girls said he told them that he touched them because he loved them. Not surprisingly, he also told the girls not to tell anyone.

Senior Prosecutor Richard Anderson revealed that this isn’t the first time Pena-Maldenado has been accused of being inappropriate with children at his day care. An investigation was opened back in 2010 by state licensing authorities and the DHSH after receiving reports that he was unusually physical with the children, frequently touching their legs and rubbing their arms.…

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Delbert BentonSPOKANE, WA - An 88-year-old WWII veteran survived being shot in action during the Battle of Okinawa, only to be beaten to death by two teenagers at the Eagles Lodge in Spokane.

Delbert “Shorty” Belton was headed inside the Eagles Lodge to play pool at around 8 p.m. Wednesday when he was attacked by two teens in the parking lot.

“It does appear random. He was in the parking lot, it appears he was assaulted in the parking lot and there was no indication that he would have known these people prior to the assault,” said Spokane Police Major Crimes Detective Lieutenant Mark Griffiths.

Belton survived the initial assault, but died on Thursday morning at Sacred Heart Medical Center from severe head injuries. A motive for the assault has not been officially released, but a friend of Belton’s says that the man was robbed.

“Those people to me are cowards,” said Glenn Longsdorff, Belton’s roommate. “They are cowards when they beat old people that are defenseless. They need to be caught.…

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Christopher W. DillinghamSTEVENSON, WA – A man is facing felony charges after he admitted to strapping a homemade bomb around his dog’s neck, then detonating it around 4 a.m. outside his home.

The explosion woke many people up in the neighborhood, with one neighbor saying it sounded like a high-power rifle was fired right outside his window.

When police arrived at the home of 45-year-old Christopher Dillingham, they found the remains of his dog strewn about the yard, along with household items.

When asked why in the hell did he just blow up his dog, Dillingham informed them he was preparing for the Rapture and that the devil was in the dog. When asked why he was throwing items from inside his home into the yard, he explained that “the souls of demons” were inside the metal objects in the house.

Dillingham, who owns and operates a fireworks stand called Thundershack, said his ex-girlfriend gave him the dog, named Cabella, and “put the devil in it.” So he made a bomb using black powder from fireworks then strapped it around Cabella’s neck before feeding it treats.…

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Aaron LittleSEATTLE, WA – Police have arrested a Level 2 sex offender after he allegedly sexually assaulted a woman inside a church Sunday morning.

Police say 37-year-old Aaron Little was at St. Spiridon Orthodox Cathedral during 9:30 a.m. church services, sitting behind the victim. Church members were already familiar with Little, as he had caused problems the Sunday before and police had to be called.

Now he was back, and when the 25-year-old woman’s row stood up to perform some kind of bizarre church related ritual, Little reached over and lifted the woman’s skirt so he could sneak a peek at her goods. The woman didn’t even realize what happened, but several of her relatives did. They immediately took Little out of the church through the front door.

But Little was a persistent son-of-a-bitch. Before those relatives could even get back inside the church, Little slipped inside through a side door, went over to the victim, lifted up her skirt and sexually assaulted her. The woman ran away from Little and once again, her relative caught up to him and held him until police arrived.…

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Lisa DavisOTHELLO, WA – A fifth-grade teacher in the small community of Othello has been accused of molesting one her 10-year-old male students.

The school district began an investigation on May 30 after receiving information from another teacher that Davis was engaging in activities that were “inappropriate or at least unprofessional,” said George Juarez, Othello School District superintendent. To be more specific, the 48-year-old married mother of three has been accused of molesting the boy in her 5th grade Scootney Springs Elementary classroom, and taking him to the movies alone.

The student would later confirm Davis touched him inappropriately both on campus and off, and Davis was placed on leave. She resigned weeks later, on June 18, before the investigations by the district and police were completed. Police investigated the allegations for a month before handing their findings over to the Adams County Prosecutor. “We did refer it up as a child molestation case in the 1st degree. That’s what the information supports,” says Chief Steve Dunnagan.

The Prosecutor’s Office will now look at the information they’ve received and decide if there’s enough evidence to charge Davis with two counts of first-degree child molestation. …

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maggotAUBURN, WA – Scores of maggots were discovered eating away at an obese elderly woman’s dead flesh, but authorities say there may have been an upside. The insects likely kept the helpless victim alive by slowing a spreading infection.

The 70-year-old woman’s daughter, Sherrie Morton, now faces felony elder-abuse charges after King County sheriff’s deputies found the victim stuck to her bedding in a home strewn with garbage and smelling of feces, urine  and ammonia, according to reports. She had  an unknown number of maggots eating at an open wound, and her bed sheets were described as being “soiled with the byproducts of an injury and covered in bugs.” Not unlike a freshman dorm room during finals week.

Deputies were called to the home near Southeast 315th Street, where they spotted the 70-year-old woman laying on a bed through a window. Upon entering the home, they were confronted by Morton, 46. She allegedly told detectives that she was her mother’s caretaker, and that she called 911 after spotting the maggots and smelling “rotting flesh” in her mother’s room.…

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Naked VicsKENMORE, WA - The Snohomish County Sheriff’s Department is investigating a hazing incident after a group of boys were found injured in a wooded area, victims of some gay-ass hazing ritual to gain admission to a school spirit group.

Police responding to a call about males yelling Monday night found 12 males, ages 16 to 18, in a large wooded area. Several of the boys were bent over a log and had open wounds from being struck with switches and other items. Medical personnel were called to the scene after police noticed several of the boys appeared to be suffering from hypothermia.

Seven juvenile males were identified as potential victims, and said they were part of an “unofficial hazing” process related to Inglemoor High School. They also said they did not want to cooperate in any police investigation into the incident. Five 18-year-old males were identified as potential suspects but have not been charged with any crimes at this time.

One of the juveniles, James Walvatne, said he was blindfolded and then brutally beaten.…

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SerenityRICHLAND, WA – Police have arrested 36-year-old Jose Aguilar after the 9-month-old baby of his girlfriend was found dead in her crib, suffering blunt force trauma and severe vaginal trauma.

Jennifer Reedy told detectives that on Thursday night, Aguilar wanted to have sex but she told him no. She said Aguilar told her he would take care of himself and left to go to the bathroom where he presumably jacked off for 30 minutes and then returned. Jennifer said when she woke up at 3 a.m. and noticed Aguilar was gone, she didn’t care and she did not look for him.

When she woke up a couple of hours later and noticed Aguilar was still gone, she got up and found her car was missing and so was the cash in her purse. She called Aguilar who informed her he was on his way to California. She did not check on Serenity until around 9 a.m. and found her purple in her crib.

Serenity’s death would be ruled a homicide after it was determined that Serenity had died from two, separate skull fractures and had suffered severe trauma to her vagina.…

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Marc O'LearyLynnwood, WA – A woman who was raped in 2008 is suing the the Lynnwood police, saying they discounted her story, ignored evidence and ended up charging her with making a false statement to police.

In August 2008, a man with a butcher knife broke into the apartment of the then 18-year-old victim, gagged her, bound her hands with a shoelace and raped her. Before leaving, he told her he’d taken photos of her and knew her name.

The victim reported the attack immediately, and police would gather evidence from the house, including stained sheets, the shoelaces, blindfold and gag. A medical examination of the victim would show she had injuries to both her wrists and abrasions on her genitals. Doctors would also collect DNA specimens from the victim.

The lawsuit alleges none of this evidence mattered to detectives Jerry Rittgarn and Sgt. Jeff Mason. They did not believe she was telling the truth based on comments from three people who doubted her story. One was her former foster mother and the other was a friend who had spoken to the victim on the phone the night she was raped.…

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