Police were called to the Jacobson home around 1:40 a.m. Monday after receiving 911 calls in reference to a possible home invasion. Kyle Jacobson told police he was at home with his wife, daughter and mother-in-law, when he heard his dog barking. He said that he got up to check on the dog and found a man standing in his hallway. I can only imagine what a nightmare situation that must have been for that guy, especially with his wife and young daughter in the home.
Jacob and the intruder began fighting and Jacob’s wife, Tennyson Jacobson, jumped into the fray to help her husband. Unfortunately for the intruder, the couple are both Crossfit trainers and Tennyson brought along a little friend – a knife she’d grabbed from the kitchen. She put an end to all the nonsense when she used the knife to give the stranger a brand new hole.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – A possible dispute over property lines between neighbors turned dangerous and somewhat hysterical when a 51 year-old Barry Alan Swegle hopped in a bulldozer and started smashing into houses.
Swegle is reported to have a lengthy criminal history which includes public indecency, stalking and burglary. He is also known by his neighbors as the guy who digs random holes with his bulldozer late at night. It would seem it was simply a matter of time before Barry was featured here at the Dreamin’ Demon for something.
One of his neighbors, Barbara Porter, claims she knew this was coming. She states ”We all said one of these days Barry is going to take that dang cat and he’s going to start tearing up people’s property and that’s what he did.” Well then. The rampage started sometime around noon on Friday, when Barry decided to play Blastcorps in real life. I hope Joe Lieberman doesn’t hear about this one.
Barry fired up an International Harvester TD-25 and took out his grumpies on his neighbors’ property.…Continue Reading
Early Sunday morning, Bell was was found unconscious and unresponsive at the bottom of the escalator after his clothing got snagged and he was subsequently choked to death.
Surveillance video was reviewed and showed Bell, with an open bottle of brandy in his back pocket, staggering and then leaning against the escalator wall as he was riding it down. Near the bottom he loses his balance and falls on his back. Bell made no effort to get up until he got to the bottom, but by that time, it was too late.
Bell can be seen trying to sit up only to find the back of his shirt had gotten caught in the escalator. He is pulled back down and remained that way until he was discovered by a passerby who shut off the escalator and tried to revive him by performing CPR.
“It’s an unfortunate and tragic accident, and we’ve never seen anything like it before,” said King County Metro spokesman Jeff Switzer.…Continue Reading
Washington – The FBI have arrested 39-year-old Saurabh Agarwal after they say he molested a sleeping female passenger on an American Airlines flight.
American Airlines Flight 1142 was en route to Virginia from Miami and one passenger, who had fallen asleep, awoke to find Agarwal “hugging her body, with his hand inside her bra, fondling her breast.”
The woman did not say or do anything about Agarwal fondling her tits because she said she was afraid. Instead, she pretended to be asleep as Agarwal continued to milk her udders and “squeezed her nipple.” He only stopped when a flight attendant approached with a refreshment cart. He ordered a scotch then resumed kneading the dough as the woman continued to pretend being asleep.
Finally deciding enough was enough, the woman pretended to wake up. Argawal began making small talk with her as if nothing had happened, but continued to lean into her even though the armrest was between them. She finally left her seat, pretending she had to use the restroom, then went to the back of the plane and told the flight crew what had happened.…Continue Reading
According to the police report, one woman pushed a child aside so her own child could get their hands on one of Lucifer’s brightly colored testicles. The mother of the child who was cast aside confronted the other mom and the two began fighting.
Other people at the egg hunt had to separate the women three or four times before they finally disengaged. By time police arrived on the scene, only one mother was there. She was sporting a bloody nose, but refused to press charges against her attacker.
I’m tempted to contact the police officer who responded to the scene and see if he’d like to write for the site. Officer Jonah Spangenthal-Lee used four terrible, egg- related puns inside the following report:
“Police were called to the Woodland Park Zoo on Sunday after an Easter egg hunt turned rotten (groan).
The hard-boiled tale began around 1 pm, when one woman reportedly pushed a child aside as her own child was scrambling toward some brightly colored eggs.
The shoving sparked a confrontation between the first woman (the supposed shover) and the second child’s mother, who began fighting and had to be separated three or four times.…Continue Reading
MOSES LAKE, WA - Police have charged 14-year-old Nathon Brooks with two counts of attempted first-degree murder after they say he got angry with his parents over being grounded, and then shot them both.
Moses Lake police say the shooting happened Friday night at the family’s home after Nathon got upset with his parents after they grounded him for being tardy from school. Part of his punishment was that he could use no electronic devices, which included his ability to play video games.
Nathan vented his frustration that night as he listened to music and contemplated killing his parents. He ended up taking a .22 caliber handgun from the family’s gun cabinet, loading it, and sneaking into his parents’ bedroom as they slept.
He first shot his father, 38-year-old Jonathan Brooks, in the back of the head. He then shot his mother, 39-year-old Elizabeth Brooks, in the face. He fired at his father again as the man rolled out of bed, then fired at his mother two more times when she tried to sit up.…Continue Reading
CENTRALIA, WA - Rachelle Braaten, a 24-year-old idiot in Washington, was arrested after video captured her letting her 22-month-old take a hit from a bong.
In the video, you can see Braaten offer the lit bong to the boy who briefly sticks his face on top of the lit bong while other morons in the room start laughing.
When police interviewed Braaten, she reportedly told detectives, “Well, it was like, you can’t see in the camera, but the person taking it, and then there was like a group of people there. And I guess it was a joke and stupid mistake that wasn’t really funny.”
Braaten says she feels “horrible” about the incident. “He’s two and he shouldn’t have known about that,” Braaten said. “He shouldn’t have that in his body.”
Rachelle Braaten was arrested and charged with manufacture of marijuana and delivery of a controlled substance to a minor. She is in jail on a $5000 bail.
The boy’s father was also arrested after police found firearms and 40 marijuana plants inside the couple’s home.…Continue Reading
Michael Boysen has been incarcerated since 2006 after being convicted of several robbery related charges. His grandparents picked him up from prison after he was released, and were taking him to their home where they had prepared a room for him to live in.
A family member became concerned when the couple would not answer their door, so their daughter was called. That’s when the bodies of 82-year-old Robert R. and his wife, 80-year-old Norma J. Taylor, were found dead inside the home.
Police believe they were killed sometime Friday night or Saturday morning. Police have not released how they died, aside from saying they were not shot.
“We are at a loss as to why he killed them,” the sheriff said. “We don’t know what the motive is.”
Detectives believe Boysen is trying to find weapons because he’d been searching the Internet for “gun shows” across the Northwest and Nevada. Boysen “is considered an extreme danger to the public and police,” the King County sheriff’s office said.…Continue Reading
Everett, WA - A guard at Snohomish County Jail has been charged with custodial misconduct after he allegedly traded cookies for sex with an inmate.
Abner Canda, 58, has been accused of giving a 22-year-old female inmate homemade cookies in exchange for sexual favors. The woman went to police in January saying she felt guilty about what she had participated in. “I’m sorry,” she told police. “I’m trying to change and be a better person now. I’m ashamed for my actions. That’s why I’m saying something.”
The female, only identified as “C.D.”, told police that she willingly showed Canda her breasts in exchange for some food last May. She was released from jail, but once again found herself as an inmate in October 2012. She states on November 19th, Canda “came into my room behind me and kissed me and touched my breasts and also put his hand down my pants and placed his finger inside of [my vagina].” Then, in January, she states Canda performed oral sex on her and gave her homemade chocolate chip cookies in return for the sexual favors.…Continue Reading
Kevin Voss, of unknown age, and his unidentified roommate apparently gained access to a shared crawlspace and drilled holes in the woman’s fucking ceiling. They then proceeded to jerk off as the woman slept and did what most women do behind closed doors. You know, like eat, read, masturbate, dance nekkid while singing show tunes, etc.
The creepy shenanigans quickly ended, though, after the victim’s cats alerted her to the goings-on in the crawlspace.
“My cats all went in the kitchen, and they were looking up at the ceiling. And when I looked up, I saw somebody walking across the ceiling. And I could hear them walking,” the woman said. ”I heard a noise up there. And when I hit the ceiling, one of them fell. And the other got scared, and jumped out a hole and ran down the stairs.…Continue Reading
Stetson Tedder, 26, was arrested Thursday on charges of second-degree assault of a child and unlawful imprisonment.
The injuries were discovered after the child’s grandmother, believing she had chicken pox, had her seen at the hospital. A registered nurse at Providence Regional Medical Center Everett counted more than 36 red marks over the girl’s body. After it was determined the child was not suffering from an illness, medical staff called 911.
The child reportedly told her grandmother Tedder tied her up and shot her with the pellet gun as punishment for waking him up.
For those of you unfamiliar with Airsoft guns, they fire plastic BBs made to sting but not break the skin.
Regardless, Tedder “knowingly inflicted bodily harm which by design caused pain as to the equivalent of that produced by torture,” Snohomish County sheriff’s deputies said.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – A woman in Seattle has been charged with assault after she beat her boyfriend unconscious while their baby was strapped to her chest.
After getting into an argument at home, 25-year-old Sharee Seminole and her boyfriend got into a physical altercation at the intersection of 25th Avenue South and South Jackson Street.
Witnesses describe watching Seminole, who weighs 270 lbs, throw her boyfriend to the ground then start kicking him in the chest before stomping on his face at least eight times. During all of this, Seminole had the couple’s baby strapped to her chest.
One witness who confronted Seminole said the woman asked, “You know how many times he’s kicked me?” before halting the rearranging of her boyfriend’s face and leaving the scene.
Emergency personal found Seminole’s unconscious boyfriend and rushed him to the hospital. Police described the man’s nose as “severely broken” and displaced. Police found Seminole at a nearby convenience store where she had purchased a bag of Funyuns.
They described Seminole as being belligerent with slurred speech. When they tried to escort her to a patrol car and remove her baby, she became combative and put up a “huge” fight.…Continue Reading
EVERETT, WA – Police have arrested a Washington woman after they say she smothered her boyfriend to death with her breasts.
Last Friday night, 50-year-old Donna Lange and her 51-year-old boyfriend had some friends over to their mobile home to get their drink on. Over the course of the evening, Lange and her boyfriend began arguing.
Both Lange and her boyfriend were around 5 foot 7 inches tall, but Lange outweighed him by about 20-pounds. I have no pictures of Lange, so I’m not sure if the extra weight is from a pair of 10-pound titties, or just overall stature.
Regardless, witnesses in the mobile home said that during one of these arguments, Lange was seen throwing her boyfriend down on the ground and her boyfriend could be heard demanding that Lange get off of him. They later found Lange on top of her unresponsive boyfriend with her breasts covering his face.
After someone called 911, medics arrived and tried reviving Lange’s boyfriend, but he would be pronounced dead at the hospital. When police interviewed Lange, she told them she had no idea how her boyfriend died.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – Yesterday I reported on a South Carolina man who was found guilty of impregnating his 13-year-old daughter and will only serve one year behind bars. Now we have a story out of Washington in which a man confessed to repeatedly molesting his 2-year-old daughter and a judge let him walk free.
Jason Sherwood was indicted on child molestation charges in 2011 after he confessed to molesting his 2-year-old daughter on multiple occasions. The tapes were made years after the abuse when Jason and his wife, Susan, decided to start taping their conversations as they went through a divorce. ”We would talk and I was very confused, and I think he was dealing with a lot of denial so we started using the tape recorder. We started taping our conversations,” Susan said.
In these taped conversations, you can hear Jason admit to his wife that he molested their daughter. Susan asks, “How many times did you take her out of the bath and masturbate while she was sitting naked on your lap?” Jason answers, “Oh you know Sue, I don’t remember, but it was probably between five to 10 times.”
Jason goes into more detail later in the tape.…Continue Reading
EVERETT, WA – A woman in Washington was in court yesterday, answering to accusations that she tried to cut off her sleeping husband’s head with a reciprocating saw.
Police arrested 44-year-old Renee Bishop-McKean last October after her husband, Brett Bishop, told them that she had just tried to kill him. He told them that he had awoke to the sound of the Sawzall reciprocating saw that his wife had in her hands, and was in the process of pressing against his neck.
After pushing her away and jumping out of bed, Bishop says he fought with McKean to get control of the saw. ”Renee came at me in the kitchen with the Sawzall raised up, we had a struggle over it,” said Bishop. “She kept pulling the trigger to make it run, so I reached out and pulled the battery out of it.”
Not quite ready to call it a loss, the criminal complaint states McKean swung a hatchet at Bishop and hit him in the back of the head with a mallet. When police arrived at the home they could hear Bishop screaming at his wife. ”It was you, it was you,” Bishop could be heard shouting.…Continue Reading
SPANAWAY, WA — A man turned himself into police after his wife and 11-year-old daughter were found shot to death in their home.
Dean Holmes, 40, has been charged with two counts of aggravated first-degree murder after he walked into a police station and admitted to killing his wife, 41-year-old Kristi Holmes, and daughter, 11-year-old Violet Holmes.
After confessing, police were dispatched to his home and could see that Dean was telling the truth when they looked through the window of the master bedroom and saw the lifeless bodies of Kristi and Violet.
Dean told police that at around 6:00 a.m. Tuesday morning, he shot Kristi as she was sleeping. He then woke up Violet and a friend of hers who had spent the night. They got into a car and Dean dropped off Violet’s friend at her house. He then drove around with Violet for a bit before pulling over and shooting her as she slept in the backseat. Then, with his dead daughter still in the backseat, he went to McDonald’s to get some food because, you know, nothing gets you hankerin’ for an Egg McMuffin like a bit of familicide.…Continue Reading
Everett, WA — An unidentified woman of unknown age was arrested last weekend after apparently losing what was left of her mind and attacking police outside of a Seattle bar. No, that’s not what earned her a spot here at the Demon, sillies. The fact that she was half-nekkid and sportin’ duct taped boobies is what did it.
According to authorities, the woman was hanging out at a bar Saturday evening, when she started strippin’ off her clothes and placing strips of hot pink duct tape on her upper body. This didn’t go over very well with the bartender, ’cause he ordered her out of the establishment. Silly bartender! Crazy bitches don’t like being ordered around!
Police say the woman grabbed hold of the bartender’s apparently flimsy arm, causing some sort of injury. After that, the crazy lady reportedly attacked another woman in the bar, clawing and scratching the woman’s face and eyes. (I can only assume the other chick was poking fun at the crazy lady’s well-planned and carefully crafted outfit… sooo, she deserved it).…Continue Reading
Everett, WA — The looker to the left is 25-year-old Ambrosia Riche - she’s been accused of jumping into a random car and gettin’ all kinds of stabby on the dumbfounded driver, leaving him dazed, confused and holey.
According to witnesses, Riche had been seen wandering up and down the street just moments before the bizarre attack, trying to get into several cars. At one point, witnesses say, she jumped on the hood of a passing vehicle but the driver managed to safely “shake her off.”
Along came our victim, Richard Lynn…
Lynn told police he was slowing down at a stop sign when Riche lunged through an open rear window and attacked, stabbing him numerous times in the head, chest and arm.
Lynn was able to scramble out of the vehicle, but Riche was right on his heels, stabbing away.
Poor dude suffered six stab wounds to the back of his head and two to his chest and arm before he was able to disarm the crazy lady. Bystanders rushed to his aid, and Riche was left standing in the intersection, ranting unintelligibly.…Continue Reading
Silverdale, Wa – A Washington state daycare service is in hot, soapy water after one of their daycare workers used a cleaning chemical to clean the face of a 5-year-old boy.
The boys mother, Heidi Dietrich, says that her son Silas Gholston was chemically burned after a teacher’s aide at the Silverdale KinderCare facility scrubbed his face with a dry eraser filled with a cleaning chemical. She was reportedly trying to make Silas more presentable for a class portrait by removing the temporary Chuck E. Cheese tattoos Silas was wearing on his cheek.
It worked pretty well as the tattoo was removed from the boy’s face but replaced with some nasty chemical burns. When Dietrich arrived at the daycare and saw her son’s face, she was outraged.
“He had swollen marks all over his face and there were white pieces where it was like a blister,” said Dietrich.
She also stated that it was apparent the teacher knew they had messed up, but that KinderCare tried to downplay the incident. Dietrich is filing a police report and has removed her son from the daycare.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – A man has been charged with a felony after he lost his temper with some unruly kids inside a movie theater last month, and allegedly knocked a tooth out of a 10-year-old boy’s head.
The incident happened back in April during a showing of TITANIC 3D at an AMC Theater where 21-year-old Yong Hyun Kim was
trying to get laid enjoying Cameron’s classic with his girlfriend. Also in the theater was a 10-year-old boy and his mother, along with several of the boy’s friends.
The group of kids were reportedly being obnoxious during the showing, talking loudly during the movie and throwing popcorn — some of which landed on Kim. According to Kim’s statement to police, he confronted the group only to have them laugh at him and then continued to be obnoxious pricks.
Reaching his last straw, Kim reportedly stepped over a row of seats and confronted the 10-year-old and his friends again.
“You know what, I paid a lot of money to see this movie,” Kim allegedly said while still wearing his 3D glasses.…Continue Reading