Collier County, FL - I love my job here at the Dreamin’ Demon – if I weren’t actively searching for stories to post, I would totally miss out on some of the hilarity that occurs in the good ‘ole US of A on a daily basis. Here we have Wal-Mart, public nudity, and dirty underwear all in the same story – what more could you possibly ask for? Meet Todd Napodano – he was airing out his junk in a Wal-Mart parking lot Monday afternoon, when a mother and her daughter happened to pass by his Chevy box van while searching for their own vehicle. When he noticed he had an audience, Todd allegedly stood up in the van and started shaking his hips, and the family jewels, in their general direction. Instead of laughing hysterically and pointing, like I would have done, the women called authorities. When officers rolled onto the scene about an hour later, Todd was still there in the back of his van, all nekkid and stuff, and still in plain view of the public. [Read more...]

BEDFORD, Pennsylvania - Fifty-six-year-old Evelyn Border and her 35-year-old daughter, Tina Griekspoor, stole two Wal-mart gift cards from a 9-year-old girl who had set them down while an employee helped her. One was for $50, the other for $30. They then attempted to use them twice before being caught. Their punishment for their crime? They had to stand outside the courthouse for 4 1/2 hours Tuesday each holding signs that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!” Because they did this, Bedford County District Attorney Bill Higgins says he’ll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty to the theft. [Read more...]

Fort Worth, TX – People will never cease to amaze me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again – just when I think I’ve seen it all, heard it all, read it all – along comes another story that makes me say, “What. The. Hell.” Last Monday, a 77-year-old woman was roused from her slumber by the sound of her doorbell ringing at about 1:30 a.m. When she got to the door, the person on the other side forced his way in by kicking it in. Once inside, the man grabbed the woman by the arm, forced her into a chair, and proceeded to jack off in front of her. Then the fucker demanded that the woman get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Oh no he didn’t! [Read more...]

Boise, Idaho – Kyle Cameron Dennis, 37, is a math teacher and varsity boys basketball coach at Capital High School who has been arrested on a misdemeanor charge of obscene live conduct in a public place. Basically, he got busted “knowingly engaged in obscene conduct…by manipulating his penis with his hands while walking around a store with an erection.” If this had been a one time thing, I would be crying foul. But Kyle seems to find himself in this situation a lot. Once in February of this year, and twice in June. These stores included a Costco as well as a Walmart. Boise School Board placed him on paid administrative leave Monday, pending the outcome of his court case, District Spokesman Dan Hollar said. [Read more...]

WESTMINSTER, Colorado – On September 19th, witnesses inside a Walmart in Westminster say they saw Kevin Salyers sexually assault a young girl, pick her up and try to flee the store. I say “try” because Kevin never made it out of the store. This was due to 22-year-old Cameron Aulner, who was working the Comcast table at the front of the store. He heard people yelling for someone to stop 34-year-old Salyers, but since no one was doing so, he tackled Salyers himself and helped hold him there until police arrived. Oh, forgot to mention, Aulner is in a wheelchair. “It was something that happened so fast, I didn’t even think about it,” Aulner said Tuesday. “I’m not a hero. I just did what you’re supposed to do.” Yeah man, you really did. Read on to check out some video.
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Fort Smith, Arkansas – Not much on this one yet, but Cody and KennyKenny reviews (also a Wal-Mart employee), both 20, played a prank at a Fort Smith Wal-Mart that may end up not being worth the laughs they got. They removed a promotional DVD and loaded a pornographic DVD into a player that was shown on over six screens in the store. It played for several minutes before management turned it off after being notified by a customer. Ha Ha Ha, right? Yeah, I thought it was kinda lame myself. Anyway, their prank has them learning some legal lessons about Arkansas and obscenity laws after they were identified from surveillance footage shown on a local Crime Stopper’s broadcast. They were arrested and are now facing felony charges of displaying an obscene film. I looked up Arkansas law in regards to displaying an obscene film and it looks like they are both facing fines up to $2,000 and a possible 1 to 5 years in prison. People, seriously, it pays to check the possible legal ramifications of a prank if caught, even lame ones like this. [Read more...]

STONE MOUNTAIN, Georgia. – While in a Stone Mountain Wal-Mart, Sonya Mathews was dealing with her crying 2-year-old. Fellow customer, 61-year-old Roger Stephens doesn’t like crying children much and felt that Sonya was not dealing with situation correctly. He told the mother that if he did not shut the kid up, he would do it himself. When the child would not stop crying, Stephens slapped the kid several times in the face remarking, “See, I told you I would shut her up.” Customers held him at teh scene until police arrived and he has been charged with felony cruelty to children and being held in the Gwinnett County Detention Center without bond. [Read more...]

Memphis, Tennessee–I bring to you, today, a story of fail. We have Camilla Fields, 26, and Stacey Cleaves, also 26. The two women hit their local Wal-Mart for a shopping shoplifting spree. With them, they had Cleaves’ two-month old infant…he was their ‘cover.’ Fields, under the guise of changing the baby’s diaper, entered a bathroom and began shoving her five-finger discounts into old, previously used Wal-Mart bags. When confronted, she used the infant as a weapon. [Read more...]

Paul Hicks

CHERRYVILLE, N.C. - Here’s one for all you parents…a little story to freak you out  bit the next time you at your local Wal-Mart. A mother and her 8-year-old aughter had just gotten in the car after a shopping trip at a Cherryville Wal-Mart when the little girl bursts into tears. She informed her mother that while they were in the store, a man had been jacking off in front of her. The man turned out to be a registered sex offender by the name of Paul Hicks, 47, who had already served 6 years after being convicted on three counts of indecent liberties with a child in 2001.

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Naples, FL–Wal-Mart; the land of long lines, empty shelves, and overworked disgruntled employees. It seems that every single week, there is a story or two about crazy shit going down at the local Wal-Mart. We have crazed shoppers, butt-biters, pedophiles, Guitar Hero lovin’ murderers. Now we have Donald Bohn; a lonely weirdo who hangs out at his local Wal-Mart dressed in a Santa shirt and hat, talking to anyone who will listen, about his package and his ability to please women. *gags*

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UPDATE: Dennis Erik William Becker, 41, has been charged with first-degree statutory sexual offense and second-degree kidnapping.

Say cheese you pervy bastard

Concord, NC – This week’s Weekly Wal-Mart Weirdo is an as-yet unidentified man in his 40s who sexually assaulted an 8-year-old boy at a North Carolina supercenter on Sunday evening.  The boy was in a stall in the men’s restroom at the I-85 and Dale Earnhardt Boulevard Wal-Mart in Cabarrus County. [Read more...]

Surveillance Video Still Shot of Unidentified Pedophile

Spartanburg, SC  - An elderly man shuffled around  the Dorman Centre Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon, aimlessly looking at things and walking back and forth near the front of the store.  When asked if he needed help, the man said he couldn’t find his car, and went outside to sit on a bench next to a female employee who was taking a break.  He then struck up a conversation with the employee that got really weird, really fast. [Read more...]

Jacksonville, FL and Charlotte, NC - Raymundo Castaneda, 30, likes to go to Wal-Mart to play Guitar HeroGuitar Hero reviews in the video game aisle.  He also likes murder.  For the last eight months, he’s been on the run from Charlotte police after killing a man over a soccer game.   But Friday morning, Castaneda’s Guitar Hero habit got him arrested.  [Read more...]

Lovejoy, GA – If you’re headed to the Lovejoy Wal-Mart in Georgia, better watch your ass. The suburban Atlanta community has a butt-biter in their midst.  Said butt-biter is an unidentified fifteen-year-old middle school student who has sunk his teeth into the asses of at least ten women. [Read more...]