Kenneth Vanlue Admits Vandalizing DPS Office, Smearing Feces On Wall
April 10, 2013 at 7:57 am by Agony In Black
AUSTIN, TX – Police say they arrested a man who broke into and vandalized a Department of Public Safety’s driver license office , including committing a bit of fecal-graffiti.
Kenneth Vanlue, 40, was arrested and charged with criminal mischief and burglary of a building after approaching troopers investigating a break-in at the office on North Lamar Boulevard, an affidavit said.
According to police, about 7:30 a.m. Wednesday, troopers responded to a reported burglary at the office, where they discovered the front door glass smashed. The windows had been broken with a brake drum, the affidavit said.
When troopers entered the building, they found several items destroyed, extensive damage to the office’s computers and equipment, and the word “surcharge” written in feces on the lobby wall. Yep, sounds like someone with a gripe to me. Or IBS.
The officers also found two severely damaged department vehicles, both with body damage caused by a sharp tool. Trash cans had been used to smash the vehicles’ windows as well as bust up the hoods and trunks, according to the affidavit.…
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Huber Heights, OH — Jesus. I am having a hard time finding anything to write about today that comes close to the face eater, the intestine thrower and the dog that was skinned alive. I’m guessing that’s actually a good thing.
So here’s a story about a man who drove his truck into a Taco Bell because they left a 99-cent taco off his order.
According to police, Michael Smith had driven away from a Taco Bell drive-through with a meal for him and his girlfriend when he realized they had left off a taco. Slightly annoyed, Smith drove back through the drive-through and politely pointed out the error to the employees because, well, shit happens.
Sorry, that was me. I get enraged when people almost kill me in traffic, or the DD server goes down as I am publishing a story… I don’t get ‘roid rage whenever some teen making minimum wage gets my order wrong at a fast food restaurant. I just assume that’s gonna happen so that I am pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t.…
Continue ReadingMan “Mad At Wendy’s” Smashes Restaurant Windows With Sledgehammer
February 17, 2012 at 2:14 am by Jaded
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Denver, CO – As evident by Jaded’s reaction to Septic Flesh, certain people just don’t appreciate fine art. Some people in a Denver museum learned this as well when a drunken idiot stumbled in and tried to piss on a painting worth millions of dollars.
Police say that at around 3:30 p.m. on Dec 29, a heavily intoxicated Carmen Lucette Tisch showed her disdain for “1957-J-No. 2.,” a $30 million painting by Clyfford Still, by walking up to it and attacking it.
Witnesses say the 36-year-old scratched and hit the painting before dropping trou and putting her ass against it. That’s when she reportedly slid down the painting and began urinating.
Luckily, she did not successfully spray the 9 1/2 feet tall and 13 feet wide painting with her stank, but she did do an estimated $10,000 worth of damage and get slapped with a felony criminal mischief charge, which carries a maximum sentence of up to 12 years in prison.
Probably not much of a surprise, but this isn’t Tisch’s first run-in with the law. Charges of theft and armed robbery against her were dropped last month and in 2008 she was arrested on a complaint of driving under the influence.…
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SANTA ROSA, CA – Look. it’s a slow day so I’m going to just throw a couple stories out there starting with five boys who are facing charges of vandalism and animal abuse after they broke into a school.
The kids got inside a mobile classroom at Northwest Prep and turned over a refrigerator, broke windows, tagged the outside of the classroom with gang graffiti, tore up the school’s vegetable garden and tortured a pet hamster to death.
“It was bad. They did three different cruel things to it,” Sgt. Mike Raasch said. Of course I want to know what the hell they did to it, but no one is reporting on what these three cruel things were. They got busted after a woman playing volleyball at the school heard glass breaking and watched the boys run from the unit when she went to go investigate. She was able to identify them to police.
Two 11-year-old boys were arrested on suspicion of felony vandalism and released to their mothers, while two 13-year-old boys and a 14-year-old boy were arrested for burglary and vandalism and booked into juvenile hall.…
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Chesapeake, VA – Authorities have reason to believe 21-year-old Ashley Marie Fowler entered Zack Sawyer’s pig pen Monday night and repeatedly stabbed a couple of his pigs, decapitating one of them.
Animal Control officers say the headless pig’s body, which had multiple stab wounds, was left in the pig pen – it’s head was left on Sawyer’s front porch. The second pig was so brutally stabbed it had to be euthanized.
Sawyer claims Fowler is acquainted with his ex-girlfriend and may have murdered the pigs in retaliation over a breakup. “The girl I broke up with, her friend is crazy as sin,” he says, “If you do seditious stuff like that, you need to go to jail and spend a lot of time in there.”
Fowler was arrested on Wednesday and charged with two felony counts of killing/maiming livestock, one count of misdemeanor vandalism (police say Sawyer also had his tires slashed), and one count of possession of prescription pills. She has since been released on bond.
Arrest made in pig decapitation case: wavy.com…
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Jackson, TN — At about 2:30 Tuesday morning, Jackson police were dispatched to Northeast Middle School after neighbors heard an alarm going off in the building. When officers arrived on scene, they determined that someone had gained entry into the building through a broken window. It didn’t appear as if anything had been stolen, and aside from the broken window, nothing had been damaged. Curious. Officers found their first clue laying on the floor – it was a wallet. Inside that wallet, identification belonging to one Dakotah Lamuska. With that evidence in hand, police decided to sneak a peek at the surveillance video from the day. As they watched the tape, their suspect appeared on screen…he was dancing. Butt-nekkid. Police are baffled! They have no idea why someone would get nekkid, break into a school and start dancing. My own personal opinion? Bucket list. (#6,747 on my own list). Anyway, the video also showed 24-year-old Lamuska airing his junk outside of the building as well. Twinkle toes has been charged with burglary, vandalism and indecent exposure.…
Continue ReadingPolice: Men Admit To Taping Razor Blades To Playground Equipment
September 29, 2010 at 2:23 am by Jaded
Columbus, GA - Some of you may recall a story we posted back in May concerning an incident at a popular playground in Columbus. Long story short, someone taped several box-cutter type razor blades to the handles and steps of the slides and other playground equipment for shits and giggles. Fortunately, the blades were spotted and removed before any blood was spilled. Well, it appears as if the police have arrested the douchebags responsible for the evil act. Derek Fullum, 21, and Gary Bryan, 18, have admitted to planting the blades as a joke…they just wanted to see what would happen. “They say that they did not target the children even though they put these razor blades on playground equipment that was played with by children. They classified it as a party prank,” said Columbus Police Chief Ricky Boren. “They also told us about other times they had been to the park and vandalized some of the areas. One individual made a statement that they wanted to see how it would change lives of people.” Both have been charged with criminal damage to property in the first-degree and are being held in the Muscogee County Jail.…
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Anderson Twp., OH – Again, another group of words I never thought I’d have to combine in the same sentence. ‘Tis true, though – Frankenstein apparently enjoys Toby Keith and beer but dislikes police officers and patrol cars. He was arrested at the concert Saturday night after he allegedly threatened to cut a couple of police officers. It’s been reported that an intoxicated Frankenstein approached the officers and threatened them multiple times, stating, “If I had a knife I would stab you.” Unamused, the officers shackled the drunken country fan and placed him in a patrol car. Once in the backseat, Frankenstein let loose with his fury, kicking out the rear side window. Frankenstein was then placed in another patrol car where he proceeded to beat the shit out of the partition with his face. Personally, I probably would have beaten myself senseless before attending a Toby Keith concert, but that’s just me. Anyway, Frankenstein continued to run his mouth at the hospital, threatening law enforcement and medical personnel alike. After he was stitched up, he was placed in a cell.…
Continue ReadingVideo Of Woman Punching McDonald’s Worker In Face Because They Would Not Serve Her Chicken McNuggets
August 10, 2010 at 8:10 am by Morbid
Toledo, Ohio – A woman got so upset with some McDonald’s employees over their inability to server her Chicken McNuggets, she is facing vandalism charges after fighting with them at the drive-through before busting out the window. 25-year-old Melodi Dushane was captured on surveillance video as she gets out of her car and confronts the workers, punching one of them in the face after getting upset over their refusal to serve her the McNuggets because they were still serving breakfast. One of the employees fights back a bit, pulling Dushane’s hair, before finally getting the window closed. Still not done with her rampage, Dushane grabs a beer bottle and hurls it through the drive-through window then drives off. I have some video footage after the jump and my description does not do it justice. Dushane is crazy as hell and for some reason her unbridled rage turns me on a bit. For now she has been charged with vandalism, but I am betting that more charges will follow, particularly for the “punching the worker in the face” thing.…
Continue ReadingHigh School Students Barred From Graduation Ceremonies After Prank Goes Wrong
June 12, 2010 at 12:07 pm by Morbid
SACRAMENTO, CA – Some students from West Sacramento’s River City High School stood before the school board with their parents boo-hooing about how unfair it is that the kids have lost their right to walk the stage during graduation. The reason? A prank that went too far. About 20 seniors were involved in a prank that included entering the school at night, stacking lunch tables and duct-taping them to school gates, marking windows and stacking recycle bins, spray-painting walls and egging the school. The students claim that kids from other schools are the ones who showed up and turned a simple prank into vandalism, not them. They feel that the suspension they received, which includes not being allowed to participate in the graduation ceremonies, is too harsh. “I believe the consequences are a bit too severe,” said class valedictorian Farhan Kakar. He was one of the students involved with the prank that night and wants a second chance and the ability to walk with her classmates across the stage…maybe do some community service or something…especially since they were there for more innocent reasons.…
Continue ReadingPolice Looking For Person Who Taped Razors To Playground Equipment
May 14, 2010 at 4:09 pm by Morbid
COLUMBUS, GA – You know, as I got older and quit playing in playgrounds, I still spent a lot of time in them. Mostly at night and mostly involving sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Sure we sometimes vandalized the equipment, or left empty beer bottles on the ground or laid down some white stripes inside the cement tunnel – but at no time can I recollect any of us saying, “Hey, it would be hilarious if we taped razor blades on some of this shit so when the little kids come to play, they’ll get slashed to ribbons! Har! Har! Har!” But that’s what someone did the other day in a Lakebottom playground. On Tuesday morning, a 2-year-old alerted his mother that there was a something attached to a piece of the playground’s equipment. The mother investigated and found that a boxcutter type razor had been taped to it. She confiscated the blade and notified a nearby traffic cop. All-in-all, nine razor blades were found on the equipment, all of them strategically placed to do damage to anyone using them.…
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Toledo, OH - What the fuck is it about McDonald’s that gets some people all crazy like? (See here, here, and here). More specifically, what is it about McNuggets? Would you, as a mostly sane individual, risk your freedom for a treat that resembles pre-chewed cardboard in both taste and texture? (Again, see here). Today we add yet another face and another story to our collection of satisfied customers. Demonites, meet Melodi Dushane. Pleasant lookin’ little tart, no? Melodi pulled up to the drive-thru window at Mickey D’s Friday morning requesting an order of Chicken McNuggets. When she was informed that the restaurant was serving breakfast, and those juicy little nuggets weren’t a part of the breakfast menu, Melodi got testy. She reached through the open window and popped the employee in the mouth. When the restaurant manager approached the drive-thru, Melodi started swinging her fists in the woman’s general direction. The manager wasn’t having it – she grabbed a couple handfuls of Melodi’s hair and attempted to pull her snotty ass in through the window.…
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Winona, MN - Last Saturday evening, at around 5:00, police received a call from a shopper at a Target store who said there was a man inside the store using a hammer to smash cameras and big-screen televisions while saying “hammer, hammer, hammer” in a monotone voice. (Heh. That makes me giggle). Another witness reported that the man had a bloodied face and “a glazed look in his eyes and was walking like Frankenstein.” According to police, customers were streaming out the front doors when they arrived on scene. Officers confronted the Frankenstein-ish man, 39-year-old Jerome Eberle, inside the store, and when they got within about 15 feet of him, he took a swing at an officer with the hammer. He then proceeded to lead the officers on a foot chase through the store, at one point, shoving a shopping cart at an officer. The chase was over after Eberle was pepper sprayed a couple of times and tased twice. Eberle, who hails from Chicago, was later transported to Winona Health for a behavioral evaluation.…
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BARNESVILLE, Ohio – When these two kids decided to raise some hell, they did it right. I am surprised they actually were able to get away with as much as they did without anyone noticing and that it seems as if they have almost no supervision. Police pulled over a Pontiac Grand Am at around 3 a.m. Friday and found the 12-year-old boy behind the wheel with his 8-year-old brother in the stolen car. After questioning the boys, they readily gave the officer a laundry list of unlawful behavior they had been up to over the last 24 hours.…
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It has been a lovely day with some exciting action in the forums. We have discussed various ways to prepare a hot dog, the difference between livermush and liverwurst, and the benefits of waterproof mascara at mugshot time. But alas, it’s that time again. Time to bring you a short summary of some stories that did not quite make the cut in time for a full write up, but are filled with enough asshattery to be noteworthy.…
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Omaha, Nebraska–Denizens, feast your eyes on one bad-ass extortionist. Scary lookin’, isn’t he? Not exactly the face that pops into my mind when I think shakedown, extortion, or protection. When I look at Robert Peck, I think, ‘Opie: The Teenage Years.’ If you don’t agree to pay him for his ‘protection,’ he’ll aim his pretend gun at you!…
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Wilmington, Delaware – Like alot of the mothers here, Karen Peet, 46, is one of those women that will do absolutely anything for her children. However, this woman takes that motherly instinct and twists it into something really pathetic. She put word out that she would pay $1000 to anyone who would jump her son’s 17 year old ex-girlfriend.…
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Canton, WI – Ah, Halloween. It’s that time of year when evil runs amok in the hearts of men and emo runs amok in the hearts of teenagers. You keep your black cats inside, buy plenty of cleaning fluids for the egg fights and silly string, and install concrete vaults around the graves of your dead, right? Because otherwise, some pesky kids or weird Satanists are likely to cruise by your local haunted cemetery and steal a baby corpse. Hey, it happens. Yay Halloween! …
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