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P. Simon JamrozikUpper Darby, PA — An Upper Darby man is behind bars for allegedly luring a 12-year-old boy into his home and tickling the child’s feet. Among other weird stuff…

According to police, the boy was walking home from school Monday, when the alleged tickler, 63-year-old P. “Pat” Simon Jamrozik, told the boy to go inside the home he shared with his sister.

Once inside the home, Jamrozik reportedly demanded the boy remove his socks and shoes and lay on the couch. He then sprayed the boy’s feet with some sort of anti-fungal crap and started in with the rubbin’ and the tickling. This, police say, was done as Jamrozik massaged his own package.

After he’d had his fill of that nasty business, Jamrozik directed the boy to lay down on the kitchen table and lift his shirt so he could perform an ear, nose and throat exam.

“He started feeling the boy’s back, chest and stomach with his hand and used a stethoscope to listen to his heart,” reported Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood. …

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Bethlehem, PA — A 27-year-old man is facing multiple charges after police say he tried to abduct a woman at gunpoint earlier this week.

According to police, Michael Arce approached the woman, identified as 42-year-old Sarah Brenner, as she was jogging Wednesday afternoon. Brenner told police Arce stepped in front of her and said, “I want to ask you something.” She said she got scared and tried to go around him, but Arce pulled out a gun and grabbed her arm.

Brenner reported that when she screamed for help, Arce said, “Don’t make a fuss or I will kill you.” She said he then put her in the back seat of his BMW and hit the child-safety lock as he got into the front seat.

It was right about then that Arce’s wife, Ana Arce, pulled up next to his vehicle and questioned him about the woman in the back seat. Arce reportedly told his wife that he was simply giving Brenner a ride, police said, and unlocked the back door to let Brenner out.…

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St. Paul, MN — The jury that convicted Luke Brandon Scott, 29, on two counts of assault, making terroristic threats and false imprisonment decided Tuesday that there were aggravating factors involved in the crimes.

The charges for which Scott was found guilty resulted from his mistreatment of Caitlin Hodges the night of Sept. 26 and early Sept. 27. He was charged with two counts of kidnapping but was found not guilty of those charges.

Luke Brandon Scott, 29, offered no visible reaction as the convictions were read.

During closing arguments, prosecuting attorney Janice Barker said Hodges told Scott she no longer wanted to be intimate with him. Scott got angry and refused to let her leave his house, Barker said.

Hodges testified at trial that Scott smashed her teeth with a wine bottle, beat her, pointed a pellet gun at her head, threatened her with a knife and locked her in a dog kennel. Barker also described how Scott made her mop up spilled beer with her hair, dragged her by the hair, wrapped his arm around her throat, kicked her, hit her with a riding crop, and threw his own dog against a refrigerator.…

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Dover, DE — Brian Manlove, 36, was charged Wednesday with robbery, terroristic threatening, disorderly conduct and trespassing.

The charges resulted from Manlove entering a 7-Eleven and handing the clerk a note which said “This is a robbery.” The clerk handed the man packs of cigarettes. A brief argument started when the clerk refused to return the robbery note. Manlove reportedly gave up and fled.

It turns out that Manlove’s note was written on the back of paperwork issued by the state Delaware Department of Corrections with Bruce Manlove’s name written on it, police said.

Police said that when officers responding to the call stopped the suspect a few blocks away, he was carrying 17 packs of Newport cigarettes.

“There are times when defendants make our jobs very easy, and this was one of those times,” said Capt. Tim Stump, Dover Police spokesman.

Manlove had been released from DOC custody on April 11. He is currrently being held in the Vaughn Correctional Center after failing to post $6,500 bail.…

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Police: Man Beat Elderly Mother With Flashlight

February 4, 2011 at 4:36 am by  

Hesperia, California — Jerry Wayne Baker doesn’t want to pay rent. In fact, when his 73-year-old mother asked him to begin paying for the roof over his head, Baker made sure his mother knew he was not going to pay her a penny.

According to police, the 50-year-old man brutally beat his elderly mother with a flashlight. He seemed to focus the beatings on her arms and then threatened to break her hands so she could no longer play the piano. During the attack, police say he also tried to choke the woman.

Baker was arrested on Wednesday morning on suspicion of elder abuse and making terrorist threats after deputies were called out to St. Mary Medical Center on Tuesday night where the victim was recovering from the alleged beating.

Baker may get his wish: he won’t have to pay rent in jail… at least not a monetary value anyway.…

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Hephzibah, GA — About six months ago, 91-year-old Dorothy Lockwood demanded that her 21-year-old grandson, Theodore Lockett, pack his crap and move out. At about 10:00 Saturday night, police say Lockett returned to his elderly grandmother’s home, confronted her in the living room, and proceeded to beat the life out of her with a glass coffee table. After bashing the woman in the head several times, Lockett reportedly called his mother and told her that he had just killed his grandma and she was next on his list. He then allegedly grabbed a microwave oven and assaulted Dorothy again, striking her repeatedly with the appliance. When police arrived on scene, Lockett was found inside the home and was arrested without incident. Also inside the home, a bedridden relative for whom Lockwood was caring for – she was unharmed. Dorothy died of her injuries early Sunday morning. According to Richmond County sheriff’s Sgt. Daniel C. Carrier, authorities are unsure why Lockett flew into such a rage – he has been treated at a behavioral health facility, but has no known psychiatric diagnosis.…

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Waseca, MN – You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone rock a greasy mullet as magnificently as Terry Allen Lester. That, the crazy-eyed stare, and the fact that he planned on blowing up one of his ex-girlfriends with a vibrator bomb has earned him a permanent spot here at the Dreamin’ Demon. Congrats, Terry…here’s your 15 minutes. Police were informed of Terry’s ingenious exploding vibrator plan by two females, who up until last week were his roommates. When Terry was kicked to the curb, he inadvertently left some of his belongings behind – amid those items, a Coffee Mate container with the words “Christmas Gifts” written on the lid. Inside the container, a modified black vibrator that had been filled with BB’s, buck shot and gunpowder. Attached to the device were black and red wires that connected to a trigger with a battery port, but no battery. Even before the discovery of the device, Terry had reportedly informed one of the women he intended to give the vibrator to one of three ex-girlfriends because their relationship had ended on a bad note.…

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Houston – Taylor Trostle is a 13-year-old student at Bleyl Middle School who wore a NYPD t-shirt to school recently. At the end of math class, she and some of her friends pretended to be cops with Trostle complementing the activity with the tried and true method of using the “Pew! Pew!” finger gun (I would have used “Pow! Pow!” but if you watch the video, she clearly used the “Pew! Pew!” technique…probably because she is a girl). She claims she was “shooting” markers on the board at the front of the class, but her teacher sent her to the principal’s office where Trostle was charged with…ready for it? Making terroristic threats. The teacher says that the finger gun was aimed at her and she was in fear for her life. According to Cy-Fair ISD’s code of conduct, a terroristic threat is a level four violation, which is on par with assault, public lewdness, or selling alcohol or drugs at school. Since the charge falls under the zero tolerance policy, the honor role student was suspended for three days, has one hell of a mark on her school record and is being harassed by her schoolmates.…

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Police: Girl, 15, Sold Sister, 7, For Sex

March 31, 2010 at 1:23 pm by  

Trenton, NJ – A 15-year-old girl has been arrested and charged with aggravated sexual assault, criminal restraint, terroristic threats, endangering the welfare of a child, and promoting prostitution after she allegedly sold her 7-year-old sister to a group of boys at a party. The teen and her sibling left home late Sunday afternoon, and after speaking with a couple of males outside of an apartment building, headed to a party inside. Once inside, the teen accepted money for sex acts with several people inside the residence. As she headed for the bedroom, her younger sister was left alone in a room full of strangers. When she returned, the teen handed her sister a handful of cash and told her the money was hers if she allowed the boys in the room to have sex with her. The 7-year-old was then gang-raped by as many as 7 males, both adults and juveniles. After the assault, two unidentified people took the young girl home while the older girl stayed behind to party.…

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Wayne Jones Sucks At Story-Telling

January 7, 2010 at 9:14 am by  

Houston, DE - After his girlfriend’s two teens were brutally attacked, Wayne Jones tried to convince the cops he and the children had been jumped. His version of the story went a little something like this – at around midnight last Friday evening, Wayne decided to take the kids, a 13-year-old boy and 16-year-old girl, out for ice cream. But first he had to stop at his parents’ home and borrow some money. While there, he noticed the front door of a vacant house next door was open and he decided to investigate. It was then, he said, that he was attacked by a couple of unknown suspects. When the kids entered the home looking for him, they, too, were attacked. The unknown suspects fled the vacant home after beating the shit out of everyone, Wayne put the kids in the car and drove around for an hour looking for help. Hmmm…even if I didn’t know the outcome of this story, I’d still think that story had a strong odor of bullshit surrounding it.…

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Angus Udale Goodwin’s Labor Day Bash

September 9, 2009 at 1:43 am by  

Sutherland, NebraskaLabor Day is celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of summer (and beginning of football season). Since it does mark the end of the warm season, families sometimes gather up their children for one last little trip before school goes into full swing. Those people who do stay home may take part in marching in or observing a Labor Day parade in their town. But guaranteed, this three day weekend isn’t fully celebrated unless you’ve cooked out over the grill at least once, inviting family and friends to eat well, drink some beers, and share a sense of camaraderie. Except at the Goodwin house. 22 year-old Angus ruined the fun when his girlfriend took off, he threatened his buddies, and then beat the piss out of his father.…

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Samantha Harvey Is Demanding

September 3, 2009 at 9:59 am by  

Washington, PA - Foreplay do – when in the mood, sweet nothings in his ear, a sly glance, and a fluttering of the eyelashes may relay to the object of your desire that you are in the mood for some nookie. Foreplay don’t – informing the object of your desire that if he doesn’t do you right now, you will cut his dick open and watch him bleed to death, right before you slap him across the face. While that may ‘do it’ for some men, *coughMorbidcough* one dude in particular had a problem with Samantha Harvey’s approach. On August 20, Samantha allegedly approached the 20-year-old male as he was getting ready for bed. After delivering her awesome come-on line, Samantha forced the man into her bedroom (I’m assuming the two are roommates), and ordered him to perform. To further entice him, she allegedly clipped a hot curling iron on to his ear. …

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Fargo, ND- A week ago today, a 25-year old woman who was leaving work was approached by the father of one of her children, 23-year old Shawntas Turnage. He told her, “If you don’t get into my car, I’m going to kill you.” The woman got into his car and Shawntas drove her to the home of his his wife, Aiesha Turnage, where he was given $100 by his wife’s brother. Then they traveled to a home in Lexington. When the woman tried to leave, Shawntas punched her in the face, forced her to strip at knife-point and stabbed her in the left arm and shoulder. Shawntas tied her ankles and wrists behind her back as she lay on her stomach and put a pillowcase over her head.…

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Robert Peck Jr. Does Extortion Wrong

May 7, 2009 at 5:34 am by  

Omaha, NebraskaDenizens, feast your eyes on one bad-ass extortionist. Scary lookin’, isn’t he? Not exactly the face that pops into my mind when I think shakedown, extortion, or protection. When I look at Robert Peck, I think, ‘Opie: The Teenage Years.’ If you don’t agree to pay him for his ‘protection,’ he’ll aim his pretend gun at you!…

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Speaking Of Stupid…

March 29, 2009 at 4:20 am by  

Harrisburg, PennsylvaniaWe have profiled many, many stupid criminals here at the Dreamin’ Demon. If we were to make a Top 20 list of the dumbest tards ever, Jerome Blanchett would certainly be in the running for a prime spot. You see, Blanchett decided to commit armed robbery…at a police convention. His intended victim? Retired New York police officer, 56-year-old John Comparetto.…

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More Google Hits For Justin Castle

January 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm by  

Faribault, MN – I think we at the Demon might be able to help with that! See, Justin Castle is a real winner at the game of life. He’s been charged with assault, terroristic threats and false imprisonment, all pretty serious charges, especially when leveled by a pregnant ex-girlfriend.…

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