Carlisle, UK - A man has pleaded guilty to assaulting his girlfriend after the couple got into an argument over her constant reading of the terrible bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey.
Police say 31-year-old Raymond Hodgson and his girlfriend, Emma McCormick, got into an argument when she would not stop reading aloud passages from the book that Hodgson felt was “pornographic” and “distasteful.” The argument carried over to the next day through text messages that eventually got personal.
Raymond got so angry with Emma that when he visited her later that evening she would not let him in the house and tried to shut the door on him. But Raymond wedged his foot int he door, slapped her once in the face, and then squirted her in the face with a bottle of steak sauce. Raymond denies ever slapping Emma, but admits that he did squirt her with steak sauce to show her what “saucy” really meant. Har! Har!
Raymond’s lawyer says that his client regrets ever doing this and has since apologized.…Continue Reading