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BETHANY, Okla. – Police say a Southern Nazarene University student was stabbed while feeding the homeless this past Saturday.

Zachary Smith, 21, and another student from the university bought a homeless man a pizza and were ministering to him before Smith was attacked. Reports say Smith placed the pizza on the ground near the man right before the man hit Smith in the head and stabbed him several times in the chest.

The students were able to drive to a doughnut shop and call 911. Smith was taken to the hospital, treated for his wounds and then released. His attacker, described as a white male in his 40s, has not been located.

SNU spokeswoman Sarah Roberts said the students were acting on their own and within the school’s motto of  “Character, Culture, Christ Almighty This Asshole Is Trying To F*cking Kill Me”

“We are deeply concerned for the students that were involved in this traumatic experience and are most grateful that the injuries sustained were not more serious. The students involved were acting compassionately, as many of our students do on a daily basis, serving the community and meeting human needs as they encounter them,” she said in a statement.…

One Stabbed In Argument Over Brownie

February 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm by  

Carbondale, PA — An argument fueled by a McDonald’s brownie led to injuries for one man and a few days in jail for another.

Erik Cain, 30, apparently got all kinds of slashy with his brother Wednesday evening after learning said brownie had been cut in half. Angered at the sight of the mutilated confection, Cain reportedly armed himself with three steak knives and went to work on his sibling, slashing the man on his forearm, wrist and shoulder.

The slashee, Gene Cain, told police he feared his brother was going to kill him, so he threw a television set at him in retaliation.

Cain was later arrested on charges of aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct. Interestingly enough, police say Cain was out on bail on charges he had slashed his girlfriend last month.

Since I can’t seem to find any information on the victim’s condition, I have to assume the wounds were somewhat superficial. If anything, the man learned a very important lesson – never lay a finger on an unstable slasher’s chocolate.…

JOHNSTON, R.I.  – A man has been arrested and charged with murdering his wife, dismembering her body and then trying to get rid of the evidence in a fireplace.

I’m not going into details, but I have often wondered if it would be possible to get rid of a body using my fireplace. I still think it is possible, but after reading what happened to 52-year-old Donald K. Greenslit, I may need invest in a working fire extinguisher before ever attempting it.

Firefighters were called to Greenslit’s home because of a fire originating from the basement. They were able to safely contain the fire although two children, ages 3 and 5, were taken to the hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation. Investigators would also find the source of the fire were body parts that had been placed in the fireplace.

“It appeared that the remains could be that of a human body. It was actually wrapped in cloth and it was burned severely and was actually cut up into pieces,” said officials.…

BROOKLYN, NY – That crazy idiot who went on a two day stabbing spree last year that left four dead and four wounded has been sentenced to 200 years in prison.

Last February, 24-year-old Maksim Gelman stabbed his stepfather to death after arguing over the use of his mother’s car. Afterwards, he took the car and drove to the home of a woman he’d been stalking, injuring a crossing guard along the way.

The woman, 20-year-old Yelena Bulchenko, wasn’t home when he arrived so Gelman stabbed her mother to death instead. He then waited 9 hours for Bulchenko to arrive home and then stabbed her to death as well. But he was far from over.

After Gelman left the home he rear-ended a car and stabbed the driver before stealing the wounded man’s vehicle. As he drove off he hit 62-year-old Stephen Tanenbaum, killing him. Later he would attack a cab driver, damaging the man’s voice box, and then attack another driver, stealing his car.

He wasn’t spotted again until some passengers on a subway train recognized him and called police.…

Canton, GA – Yesterday, 20-year-old Ryan Brunn pleaded guilty to murdering 7-year-old Jorelys Rivera and was sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.

Rivera went missing from an apartment complex last month after telling friends she was going home to get drinks. Her dead body would be found in one of the complex’s trash bins three days later. She had been severely beaten and stabbed repeatedly in the face, neck and chest.

It wasn’t long before police would arrest Brunn, a maintenance worker at the complex with no criminal history, and indict him on 13 counts including murder and child molestation. Brunn’s attorney had originally said his client would plead not guilty, but instead Brunn entered a guilty plea at a hearing where he also described what happened to Rivera in between the time she was last seen and when she was later found in the trash.

Turns out Brunn had never spoken with Rivera before the day he killed her and only chose her after finding one of her skates and coming up with a sinister plan.…

El Cajon, CA – Police say a 10-year-old boy with known anger issues stabbed a 12-year-old friend to death on Monday.

The two boys were part of a group of kids who played in the neighborhood and were in the younger boy’s driveway when the stabbing occurred. No motive has been given, but the two boys got into some kind of altercation that ended with the 10-year-old stabbing the older boy in the chest with a steak knife.

Police say the boy waited at the scene and was there as paramedics arrived and tried to save the wounded boy. The victim was rushed to Rady Children’s Hospital, but he would die an hour later. The 10-year-old, who is reportedly on medication for a chemical imbalance, was taken into police custody.

Neighbors in the area told reporters that the suspect’s emotional problems were well known, but that his tantrums were always verbal and never physical. One added that the boy’s mother was always pro-active in dealing with her son’s issues.

We had a kid like this in our neighborhood growing up.…

Ruckersville, VA — Not much info on this one yet, but police have apparently taken a 5-year-old boy into custody after the kid injured two children and one adult with an “edged weapon” in what neighbors are calling a dispute over a juice box.

Deputies responded to a Ruckersville mobile home park Monday afternoon to find the three suffering from non-life threatening stab wounds.

“I’ve heard of juveniles throwing temper tantrums, but I’ve never heard of anything like this before,” said Greene County Sheriff Steve Smith.

At least one victim is related to the child, but authorities have not revealed which one or the nature of that relationship. Nor have they confirmed whether the alleged stabbing occurred over a juice box.

The child was still in police custody Monday evening and is said to be undergoing some sort of evaluation.

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. — That loony chick who murdered a 9-year-old girl because she wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder.

Alyssa Bustamante has pleaded guilty to the October 2009 murder of her neighbor, 9-year-old Elizabeth Olten. She was only 15 when she slit the girl’s throat, strangled her and stabbed her before putting her in a grave she had dug previously.

In court, judge Pat Joyce instructed Bustamante to describe how she killed Olten.

“I strangled her and stabbed her in the chest,” Bustamante said looking the judge in the eye.

“Did you cut her throat too?” the judge asked.

“Yes,” Bustamante responded.

Elizabeth Olten

Originally charged with first-degree murder, Bustamante pleaded guilty to the lesser murder charge to avoid a trial and a possible life behind bars. In February, Cole County Circuit Judge Patricia Joyce will decide how long Bustamante will spend in prison. A second-degree murder conviction can carry a sentence from anywhere to 10 years to life with the possibility of parole after about 25 years.…

Parma, OH — Police say an unidentified 48-year-old man was stabbed New Year’s Eve simply because he was clueless to the fact that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are married.

According to an arrest report, an argument broke out between the victim and 31-year-old Ronald Deaver shortly before midnight on December 31 as they watched music videos.

The two ended up outside of Deaver’s apartment, and when the victim admitted his ignorance to Beyoncé’s marital status, he was stabbed and undisclosed number of times.

Police attempted to locate Deaver at his apartment, but a woman inside the residence, 31-year-old Jennifer Fornari, apparently told officers that Deaver no longer lived there.

Deaver was eventually located nearby and taken into custody on a charge of felonious assault. Fornari was later arrested and charged with obstruction of justice.

The victim survived the attack and is currently listed in good condition.

Damn…with this kind of shit, we’re going to need an ‘overreact much?’ tag here at the D’D.…

Cincinnati, OH  – An Ohio man is facing robbery and assault charges after robbing one man of his cell phone and stabbing another in both of his eyes.

Police say that after Eugene Dase punched one man and took his phone, he put Robert Sandford in the hospital after stabbing him multiple times in the eyes.

Police say Dase used a steak knife to stab the poor man’s left eye, then used a television antenna to stab him in his right eye. Sandford was taken to the hospital where he was listed in critical condition.

While in court Monday, Dase cursed at the judge and laughed at his potentially lengthy prison stay.

Dase: “How about I just plead guilty right now?”
Judge Bouchard: “You’re not going to see the light of day for a long time.”
Eugene Dase: “Do you think I give a (expletive)? You think I care?”
Judge Bouchard: “Yeah, I think you’re going to care in about 15 years when you haven’t seen the light of day.”

Not a real shocker, but Dase has prior convictions for assault and has a history alcohol problems.…

Citra, FL — Bryant Odell Dozier, 31, was arrested after a stabbing his stepfather in the neck with a steak knife. Justified? You decide…

The incident reportedly began when Dozier observed his stepfather, Christopher A. Kirnes, 54, ‘cursing out’ Kirnes’ mother for not buying beer. Kirnes’ mother told deputies that – after Dozier attempted to ‘intervene’ – Kirnes went to the bedroom to got a crowbar.

Coincidentally, this is where I keep my crowbar.

Court documents say that, when Kirnes returned, he threatened Dozier – prompting Grandma to ask Dozier to leave. Dozier left the residence, but returned aproximately 15 minutes later wielding a steak knife. A scuffle ensued which left Christopher Kirnes with a substantial knife wound to the neck. A deputy on the scene claimed the wound was so severe “you could see the jugular vein.”

When question by deputies, Dozier reportedly told them Kirnes hit him in the head with the crowbar and said he “fell down the stairs and cut [Kirnes] unintentionally.” When asked about his lack of visible injuries, Dozier said the injuries were “already magically healed by God,” the arrest report stated.…

Woman Upset About 2012 Stabs Mother In Face

December 23, 2011 at 11:41 am by  

King County, WA — 43 year-old Sabelita L. Hawkins has been charged with first-degree assault after a History Channel special about the Mayan prophecy, heralding the end of days, sent her careening away from sanity.

Hawkins, upon learning of the bad news, allegedly made statements about killing herself. “Get me a gun… I’m ready to die…” No one did, and Hawkins continued acting with the mental stability of a bowl of Cookie Crisp. When she began squeezing a 2 year-old child, people intervened. Her mother was awoken during the commotion and she attempted to restrain her.

It was during this physical struggle that Hawkins reportedly grabbed an 8-inch bread knife and stuck it in mommy a few times. The woman suffered multiple stab wounds during the incident. She sustained a punctured lung and was also stabbed through the cheek once. Someone finally tackled Hawkins and keep her from perforating anyone else until the police arrived, at which point things got even funnier.

Hawkins was babbling nonsense about “people wearing black and purple” and someone named ‘Darell’.…

Brooklyn NY – I was going to call it a day and save this one for tomorrow, but I got some time to kill. A teenager is clinging to life today after a fellow student stabbed him multiple times in the head with a pair of scissors.

It happened yesterday in the Erasmus Hall High School gymnasium after 15-year-old Alfredo Allen (pictured) and 16-year-old Chevoy Nelson,  an emotionally disturbed special ed student, got into an argument during a lunchtime game of basketball.

Nelson became increasingly angry at Allen and shoved him. Allen responded by slapping Nelson in the face. Infuriated, Nelson left the gymnasium and began running around asking people for a weapon.

“He goes running around, asking everyone for a weapon,” said a police source. “He goes into a classroom and asks a teacher for acid. She obviously says no, but then she get distracted he grabs a pair of scissors and runs back to the gym.”

That’s when Allen found out what I already knew… that the mentally challenged have the strength of ten men.…

GREENVILLE, SC – Holiday shoppers in a South Carolina Walmart were treated to the sight of a man stabbing his screaming wife to death inside the store.

Police say last weekend, 47-year-old Avery Blandin got into a verbal altercation with his wife, 38-year-old Lilia Blandin who worked at the Woodforest bank located inside the Walmart.

The fight soon turned physical, and in front of a herd of Walmart shoppers, Avery pulled out a knife and began stabbing Lilia. One shopper told reporters he witnessed Avery stabbing his wife before stomping on her neck and chest area when she fell to the ground.

Witnesses followed Avery as he fled the store and tried to stop him by tripping him, pushing him and hitting him with a chair. They stopped pursuing him after he pulled out a second knife.

“When he pulled the blade, the second knife, I just, that’s when I let him go because I already seen what he did with the first one, so I wasn’t going to get involved with the next one,” said a very smart Phillip Tallent.…

Woman Attacked With Knife At Grocery Store

December 5, 2011 at 5:03 am by  

Des Moines, IA — A woman is recovering from minor stab wounds to the cheek and shoulder after apparently being attacked by a random crazy lady inside Linn’s Super Market over the weekend.

The victim, Glenna Hays, told police she and a couple of family members were inside the store Saturday evening, just talking amongst themselves, when they were rudely interrupted by the alleged crazy lady, 33-year-old Alyssa Wright.

According to one of Hays’ family members, Wright eyeballed the trio as they were conversing and asked, “Are you talking to me?

No word on whether Wright delivered the line with the correct inflection…

When the trio informed Wright that, no, they were not talking to her, she allegedly jumped Hays.

At some point during the beat down, Wright apparently pulled a knife and got to stabbin’. Fortunately, Hays’ relatives were able to pry the crazy lady off before any body parts were severed. Hays was able to transport herself to the hospital for treatment.

The store manager followed Wright out of the store and flagged down a passing police officer.…

ATLANTA, Ga. - Police have shot a woman to death after they found her sitting in a chair stabbing her daughter repeatedly and refusing to stop.

Police were called to the unidentified woman’s home after she threw her 8-year-old son out of a window. The boy ran to a neighbor asking for help, saying that his mother was trying to kill him.

When police arrived at the home and broke down the door, they found the woman sitting in a chair repeatedly stabbing her young, disabled daughter. Police ordered her to stop, but she refused and police opened fire.

Police have not said if the 4-year-old girl was struck by a bullet, but did report between 10 to 16 shots were fired. Both the woman and her daughter died at the scene, while the boy who was tossed out a window only suffered minor injuries.

No word on a motive, but a neighbor told reporters the woman had issues and was going through some hard times, unable to afford electricity, rent or even food.…

Newport, TN — Police and paramedics were called to the home of a 38-year-old man Wednesday night in response to a rather bizarre stabbing incident – the man of the house apparently poked himself in the gut with a turkey thermometer to see if he was “done.”

The man in question, Scott Kelly, was found lying on a sofa in the home with a small stab wound in his gut.

When questioned, Kelly reportedly told officers he was “basting himself” and just wanted to be left alone. He then explained that he had stuck the thermometer into his stomach “to check his temperature, and to determine if he was done or not.”

Why, yes, alcohol was involved! How did you guess?

Kelly’s girlfriend told police the man had consumed a fifth of liquor and eight or nine beers before jabbing himself with the thermometer. Based on that information, I’m assuming Kelly was, in fact, done. Well done, even.

Kelly was transported to the hospital for treatment and a mental evaluation.…

Police: Woman Stabbed Neighbor Over Two Dollars

November 22, 2011 at 11:04 am by  

Oakland Park, FL — Allow me to introduce the lovely Dorothy Cooper. Cute, no? She’s been charged with attempted murder after police say she stabbed her neighbor with a steak knife when he refused to give her $2.

Cooper reportedly approached neighbor Robert Martin Sunday and asked him to give her a couple bucks. Her request was promptly denied. Cooper then demanded $5. Martin, again, refused. At that point, police say Cooper attacked Martin with a large steak knife, stabbing him in the back and chasing him outside. Once Martin fell to the ground, Cooper walked away, leaving him for dead.

Martin was transported to the hospital with a stab wound to the back and one to the ass. Though he was initially listed in critical condition, he was not listed as a patient Monday afternoon.

When questioned, Cooper first told police she was provoked after Martin asked her for sex *shudder* and struck her in the face when she refused his advances. She then made with the truth, admitting that she stabbed Martin because he refused to give her the money she wanted.…


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