Lori Richards Doesn’t Come Cheap

Kettering, OH – Fellas, feast your eyes upon this Venus-like enchantress. Look at those lovely green eyes, the pouty lips, the gracious neck. She can be all yours, guys. Yes, for a price somewhere in the $40 and $120 range, she can be your woman for the evening. Wait…what? 40 bucks?!? Do you think she means $40-120 per session? Or $40-120 per month? Yeah. That has to be it. A rent-to-own hooker. Anyway, if you are through drooling over her, we can get to the real reason for her placement here on the Dreamin’ Demon. Lori Richards, 25, is here because she’s a shitty mother. While she’s hanging out at the dive bar looking for a john, her 8-month-old baby boy was sitting home alone – left unattended in a baby swing. Last Saturday evening, officers responded to a call about a woman standing outside a bar offering sexual services for a fee. I’m guessing no one was buying what she was selling – she was still standing out there when the cops arrived. She not only admitted to pimpin’ herself out, she tipped officers off to the fact that she may have left her baby home alone. Sure enough, the little guy was just hanging out in his baby swing. The infant was turned over to his grandparents and Lori was hauled off to the slammer. She’sShe reviews looking at charges of child endangerment and soliciting. Hehh…soliciting. If that chick can make $120 a bop, then maybe I’m in the wrong business. [Read more...]

Dead Hookers Make The Closet Stinky

Orlando, Florida – KidsKids reviews have big mouths, don’t ever let ‘em in on a secret. They blab – about everything – mommy’s real age, mommy’s real hair color, dad’s penchant for hookers, mommy’s real weight, dad’s little fib about the size of the fish he caught, the dead hooker in dad’s closet, the secret ingredient in dad’s famous chili recipe, etc. Yeah…you gotta be real careful around those kiddos…loose lips and sunk ships and all that. Oh, and, if you want help dumping the body of a dead hooker, you’re better off asking one of your friends, as opposed to your 5th grader. Just ask Alan Jett. His first mistake in this story of fail was bringing the kid along to pick up a hooker…it just kinda went downhill from there. [Read more...]

Kelvin Cousar Is Oddly Grotesque

CHARLES COUNTY, Maryland – Mr. Cousar answered a CraigslistCraigslist ad a woman had posted offering massages. When the pair met at a Charles County hotel on April 12th, he paid her $200 for the massage and some sexual activity. The problem is, aside from Craigslist being the best place to find a whore now days, that Cousar wanted this woman to do some “oddly grotesque” things. Now, that was a direct quote from a police spokeswoman who has probably heard of everything, so I am assuming that Cousar’s requests were in fact “oddly grotesque“. Considering that even the whore refused to do them is also very telling. But Cousar wasn’t taking no for an answer and shoved a gun in the woman’s mouth and forced her to do them anyway. [Read more...]

Tommy Flores Got Mad At Grandma

San Antonio, TX – Tommy Flores, 30, really should have gotten his own place. That way, he could have brought home prostitutes without any problems. But Monday, Tommy’sTommy reviews grandmother Eva Flores got kind of upset about the whoring in her house. Now Eva, 74, isn’t complaining any more. Tommy hacked Grandma Eva to death with a meat cleaver. He also shot the hooker. Guess that’ll keep ‘em quiet. [Read more...]