Fort Myers, FL — Whitney Noelle Krimmel, 26, was seen by Lee County Sherriff’s deputies in what appeared to be a fight with another woman in Fort Myers just after 3:00 a.m. last Sunday. The result was an arrest with 38 charges against her.
According to a police report, Krimmel started by giving an investigating deputy the wrong name. A female deputy was called to perform pat downs of the women recognized Krimmel – ending the name game. The pat down and search yielded 25 different prescription drugs totaling over 350 pills inside Krimmel’s purse. Purse?! Who uses a purse these days?
The other woman, who is yet unidentified, was also searched and found to be with a variety of prescription drugs totaling over 300 pills.
That’s 650 pills between them. Seems like a lot for a Saturday night…
After the search, the other woman became ill and was transported to the hospital. At the hospital, medical staff discovered another bottle of pills and a knife hidden in a roll of fat in her stomach, as well as a second knife hidden in her vagina.…Continue Reading
Chandler, AZ - Chance Kracke told police he was high on meth when he stuck his 7-month-old son in the freezer last Thursday. He has a perfectly logical explanation for doing so though – the kitchen floor was too dirty. On August 16, Chance was in the kitchen preparing to make himself a snack, but found he couldn’t do so with his infant in his arms. What to do? He couldn’t lay the baby on the floor, it was filthy. Walking out of the kitchen and placing the child in his crib would have been far too much work, so Chance put the infant on the bottom shelf of the freezer, shut the door and prepared his food. He remembered where the child was a couple minutes later after hearing the sound of an angry and cold infant emanating from the freezer. He then took the baby out of the freezer and placed him on the floor. Police say the child ended up with a laceration on his forehead, possibly caused when the freezer door was shut on his face.…Continue Reading
Mesa, AZ – I was going to post this story the other day, but wanted to hold out in hopes that a mugshot would be released – and I am so glad I did! The mug just kinda pulls all of the visuals together. Last Saturday, officers were called out to investigate a suspicious person hiding out in a ditch behind a vacant home. For just a second, put yourself in the officer’s shoes and picture Edward Rodriguez sitting in a ditch in the middle of the night. There he sits, surrounded by pornographic sex toys. He’s shirtless and is wearing a pair of women’s pants with a hole in the crotch, his little willy peekin’ out. And wait! What’s this? He’s wearing his underwear around his neck! How does one maintain their professional composure after stumbling upon a scene like that? Not only would I have pointed and laughed ’till I peed my pants, but I would have had my camera right there to capture the moment for my 15 minutes of YouTube fame.…Continue Reading
Fredericksburg, VA – On December 7th, a pizza delivery driver called police to report that she had seen a Chevy Tahoe driving erratically just moments before landing in a ditch. The witness reported that after the vehicle had stopped, she saw a child banging on the passenger window before getting out of the car. After the child exited the vehicle, the Tahoe drove away, leaving kiddo behind. The delivery driver got the 10-year-old girl into her own vehicle and waited on police. The child told officers that her mother had been driving the vehicle and that she was scared of the way her mom was driving. Her mom, 30-year-old Tara Dawn Biller, was arrested a short time later and charged with DUI, driving on a suspended license, refusing a breath test, and child endangerment. Tara was taken to jail and the child was handed over to family members. Tara later made her $3,500 bond. Let’s fast forward about 3 weeks – before Tara has even made her first court appearance on those charges, she is pulled over.…Continue Reading
Dade City, FL – Not much to this one, but the whole damn story leaves me saying, “What the…? Why the…? Ummm, huh?” Robert McCray was in a stinky situation – he owed his crack dealer about $40, but was a little short on funds. What’s a crackhead to do? Well, this crackhead decided to go the easy route and just help himself to some extremely discounted merchandise (we’re talking a discount of the five-finger type, here) at a Dade City CVS on Thursday afternoon. It’s not the actual theft that makes me scratch my head in confusion – it’s the looted merchandise McCray tried to get out of the store with. Antiperspirant. A lot of antiperspirant. Over $80 worth. McCray allegedly stuffed 19 packages of underarm deodorant into his jacket and tried to beat feet out of the store. He didn’t get far – a couple of CVS employees caught up with him at the door and held him until police arrived. And judging by that lovely shiner, it looks like they held him real good.…Continue Reading
Harrington, DE- Around 5:30 a.m. on August 12, police responded to a residence to investigate a disorderly conduct complaint. At the scene, they found a slightly intoxicated 23-year old woman named Erin Boone banging on the door of the residence. When the officers told Boone to put her hands behind her head, she turned toward one of the officers, whipped out a 4-inch butterfly knife, and told the officers that she was not going to be arrested. After a brief struggle, Boone was in custody and officers discovered 18 Xanax pills in her possession. Once Boone was placed in the patrol car, she kicked out the rear passenger window and struck an officer who tried to stop her, which caused a minor injury to his arm and hand.…Continue Reading
Springfield, Ohio–But, the dumbass was getting her groove on as her two young children watched…from the back seat of the car. Danica Wallace, 24, and her boyfriend, Eric Welch, 29, both intoxicated and stoned, just couldn’t wait ’till they got home to do the nasty…so, they pulled off the road and started going at it. Look at their mugs and imagine them nekkid–nobody should have to witness that shit. Just thinking about the two of them all nekkid and sweaty makes my brain itchy.…Continue Reading
Chuckey, TN- This last Friday, police officers stopped at the Freshour Trailer Park to serve an outstanding warrant. When they arrived at the suspect’s trailer, they learned that the person they were looking for had moved out, but his trailer was not vacant. Inside the trailer officers found three unsupervised toddlers, ages 4, 4, and 2. The children had toys, a blanket and crackers with them and at least one of them was naked. The kids made a run for it and the officers followed them to a trailer next door where they discovered conditions “adverse to the children’s welfare.”…Continue Reading
Punta Gorda, Florida–Tweakers and crackheads, when they aren’t abusing, neglecting, molesting, killing, or harming others, really crack me up. Yes, their ignorance amuses me. Nicole Marie Tobia needs to be chuckled at, bitch-slapped, thrown into rehab, and have her uterus repossessed. Knowing that this crazy tweaker has already contributed to the population gives me a headache.…Continue Reading
Shannon Schenck (Myspace)
Spring Hill, FL–This story originally hit the press a couple of months ago but was recently posted in the forums, and I just couldn’t pass it up. This guy not only deserves a Darwin award, he has rightfully earned a spot here on the Dreamin’ Demon.
…so he set his trailer on fire
Theodore, AL–Lawrence Edward Lee, 45, had a bad case of the ‘nobody loves me’ Christmas blues. He didn’t get a single present for Christmas. Not even a re-gifted fruitcake. Can you believe that? Well, he got even with the selfish relatives who overlooked him…he set his own trailer on fire. That’ll show ‘em! Now he not only lacks presents, but also a home. Luckily, the kind-hearted folks down at the Metro Jail welcomed him with open arms.