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St. Louis, MO – John Cunningham, 43, was arrested on Monday, charged with first-degree murder in the shooting death of his uncle.  The two were arguing over whether they were about to cook pork chops or pork steaks.

There’s no doubt that pig meat is serious business.  Twitter and Facebook are riddled with bacon-obsessed wastoids.  Some people would severely injure others for a good pulled-pork sandwich.  I am admittedly enamored of my porksword, though I’m not really sure that’s relevant.

It’s hard to find a good pork chop.  In my experience, they’re usually a bit dry, chewy, and lack the intense flavor I normally enjoy in my food.  A ham sandwich on rye with Swiss cheese and a spicy mustard is nice, I suppose.  Did you know that male pigs have penises that resemble corkscrews?  You can’t open a bottle of wine with them though, apparently.  Wait…what was this article about?  Oh, yes, now I remember.

John Cunningham was somewhat annoyed by the fact that his maternal uncle, Lessie Lowe, 44, kept calling their cuts of meat “pork chops” when they were clearly “pork steaks.”  Those of us “in the know” realize that pork steaks are taken from the shoulder area of the pig, whereas pork chops are from the rib/loin area. …


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