SPOKANE, Washington – Motorists in Spokane started calling police on Sunday after getting an eyeful of a pious pedestrian. Witnesses told officers that William “Billy” Ogan, 31, was masturbating on the side of the road and displaying his penis to women.
Ogan confirmed this, telling police he was celebrating his “new marriage” to God, “working for Jehovah,” and “spreading God’s word.” God reportedly wanted Ogan to show his penis to women in order to teach them about sex. At press time, God had not responded to calls seeking his side of the story, and, of course, he cannot be forced to testify against Ogan thanks to spousal privilege.
Ogan was supposed to appear in court for three counts of indecent exposure on Tuesday, but “he refused to participate in the court process,” so he had to go on Wednesday instead. When Billy showed up, he did so without a lawyer and told the judge he didn’t feel anyone else in Spokane County could defend him.
“The legal system here in this facility, they don’t do the job, so I feel better representing myself,” Ogan said while surrounded by three deputies.…Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - Last week we reported on the naked man who got his ass handed to him by the father of the girl he got caught spying on. Now it’s being reported that the father may face more time behind bars than the Peeping Tom.
Police say 29-year-old Dylan Maho was naked and making noises underneath a young girl’s window last week. When the girl’s father, Emilio Chavez III (pictures), went out to investigate with his son and his son’s friend, they found Maho and proceeded to chase him down the street before beating the ever-living shit out of the pervert.
Responding police found Maho bleeding in the street suffering from severe injuries. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Earlier news reports said he may not make it, but just like his penis outside of a kid’s bedroom window, Maho wasn’t staying down. He has since been upgraded to stable condition.
Once out of the hospital, police will charge him with felony voyeurism, a fourth-degree felony that carries a max penalty of one to two years in jail. …Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — A man is in critical condition after he got caught peeping into the window of two teenage girls, then got his naked ass beat by the girls’ father and brother.
The incident occurred at about 2:30 a.m. Thursday, when a man called 911 to report a naked Peeping Tom was caught outside his home, staring through a window at the caller’s 13- and 15-year-old daughters.
“The bushes were shaking. Then she heard groaning and moaning,” said the girls’ mother, Katrina Chavez. “My oldest son went out, said ‘What are you doing?’ and then discovered he was naked.”
Police say the girls’ dad, brother and a friend of the brother – ages 29, 19 and 19 – chased the naked man away from their home and down the street before a fight ensued. By time police arrived, the suspected pervert was found in the street, badly beaten.
The man was taken to the hospital and is in unstable, critical condition as of yesterday. So far the three men have not been arrested for putting the alleged prowler in the hospital, but the District Attorney is working with detectives to determine if they should be charged with a crime.…Continue Reading
Florida – Police in St. Johns County have arrested a registered sex offender with a habit of putting his dick in all the wrong places, this time in the butthole of his neighbor’s dog.
James Lee Lyons, 52, was arrested after one of his neighbors called police to report his dog had been the victim of a sexual assault at the hands of Lyons.
He said that he let two of his dogs out before a thunderstorm Monday afternoon, but only one of the dogs came back. He went searching for the missing dog but was unable to locate it until some time later when he witnessed Lyons carrying it.
When the man asked Lyons where he found the dog, Lyons said he found it hiding in a shed. The neighbor did not believe Lyons because the shed was one of the places he checked earlier. That’s when he noticed that his dog was acting withdrawn and was suffering injuries to its rectum and vulva.
The dog owner first called Animal Control who informed the man he needed to take the dog to the vet.…Continue Reading
GREENACRES, FL — Police have arrested a man after a poor woman said she watched him masturbating outside her window on three separate occasions on the same day.
According to the police report, Angie Roberts had just returned home from a bike ride when she was approached by 19-year-old Melchisedech Isoph who told her she had “a nice ass” and asked if she had a boyfriend. Roberts ignored him and went inside her home.
When she looked out her window, she “saw him standing behind the bushes next to her house jacking off. Roberts said Isoph rode away on his bike before returning and going back behind the bushes where he started jacking off again.
Once again, Isoph rode away on his bike but returned and asked Roberts for some water. She went back inside, but said when she looked out, “he was jacking off again for the third time.”
“It’s like he didn’t care,” Roberts said. “I started thinking, my window’s open, is he going to break into my house?…Continue Reading
MUSKEGON, MI – Kurtis Peterson, a convicted sex offender found guilty of having sex with dogs, was sentenced to state prison for between one to 15 years after a judge went above state sentencing guidelines to keep the community safe from the repeat offender.
Peterson, 37, was first accused of having sex with a dog in April 2010 at his apartment, when a woman witnessed Peterson on his bed naked, kneeling behind his blue heeler. Peterson claimed he was “just playing with the dog” but had gotten an erection after accidental making contact with the dog’s rear.
Any benefit of doubt he was given went out the window when the same woman caught him having sex with yet another dog in June, when she walked in on Peterson having sex with a white pit bull on his living room floor. This time he was arrested and charged with “the abominable and detestable crime against nature,” also known as sodomy or bestiality.
Charged as a fourth-time habitual offender, Peterson pleaded no contest to the charges in March.…Continue Reading
According to police, the boy was walking home from school Monday, when the alleged tickler, 63-year-old P. “Pat” Simon Jamrozik, told the boy to go inside the home he shared with his sister.
Once inside the home, Jamrozik reportedly demanded the boy remove his socks and shoes and lay on the couch. He then sprayed the boy’s feet with some sort of anti-fungal crap and started in with the rubbin’ and the tickling. This, police say, was done as Jamrozik massaged his own package.
After he’d had his fill of that nasty business, Jamrozik directed the boy to lay down on the kitchen table and lift his shirt so he could perform an ear, nose and throat exam.
“He started feeling the boy’s back, chest and stomach with his hand and used a stethoscope to listen to his heart,” reported Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood. …Continue Reading
Meet Lawrence Adamczyk – he made his first appearance here at the D’D in June of 2011, when he was accused of exposing himself and groping men at the X-Sport Fitness Club in St. Charles.
Larry (not even gonna try and type dude’s last name more than once… it’s like a tongue twister for my fingers) was apparently found guilty in that case, as a recent update mentions he was paroled in December of 2012 and was being monitored electronically. The same update also points out that Larry had previous arrests dating back to 2005, all similar and sexual in nature. But for whatever reason, he was not required to register as a sex offender.
Larry was confronted by security personnel at Riverside Brookfield High School Saturday morning while wandering about in a hallway that was closed and off-limits because of a boys’ swim meet, police said. The police were called and responding officers found Larry sitting on the bleachers, watching the competition.…Continue Reading
According to reports, 37-year-old Anthony Nugent approached the teen as she walked down the street Wednesday afternoon while carrying a musical instrument in a black case. Nugent approached the girl and asked what was in the case she was carrying. He became aggressive when she told him it was a musical instrument but refused to open the case so he could see it.
She tried ignoring him and continued walking, but Nugent allegedly continued to harass and badger the girl. When the girl continued to ignore him, Nugent reportedly grabbed the teen by the neck and head then threw her to the ground. The two got into a struggle during which Nugent ripped the teen’s shorts and used his hand to smack her ass several times.
Nugent fled the area on foot, but a passing motorist witnessed the incident and called 911.…Continue Reading
Boulder, CO – A Boulder High School teacher has been arrested after two women say he purposely exposed his genitals to them while shopping at two different garage sales.
According to police, Jim Kozlowski was at a garage sale Saturday morning when he employed a horribly ineffective ice-breaker. According to Commander Jeff Satur, Kozlowski intentionally exposed his twig and berries as they both shopped at a garage sale. “The victim said the suspect knelt down near some clothes, with his right knee on the ground and his left knee bent, with his left foot on the ground,” said Satur. “He asked the victim about the clothes, and then he pulled his shorts away from his leg with his left hand so his genitals were exposed through the left leg opening.”
Sure, Kozlowski’s peek-a-boo could have just been accidental, but police say after he left that garage sale his pork sword was spotted at another garage sale a block away. This time a woman stated Kozlowski repeated the same actions as before.…Continue Reading
Neighbors in a McAllen neighborhood said they’ve seen 18-year-old Joel Cuellar’s black Chevy Camaro parked in the Bicentennial Soccer Fields parking lot on multiple occasions, but never called police about it and never imagined what police say was happening inside.
One neighbor stated that she normally saw the car parked at night underneath a broken lamp post. That’s where a police officer found it parked Friday night around midnight. The officer observed that the windows were fogged up and decided to see what the occupants were up to.
As he approached the car, Cuellar stepped out and, according to the officer’s report, had to pull up his pants. Also inside the car was an 11-year-old boy, reportedly the little brother of Cuellar’s ex-girlfriend. A neighbor, who watched as the arrest unfolded, stated that Cuellar had to pull his pants up when he got out of the car, and that police had to wrap a towel around the 11-year-old boy’s waist.…Continue Reading
Orlando, FL – Florida police ran another child sex sting in which they placed various ads online pretending to be children looking for sex, or custodians of children looking for men interested in having sex with their children.
The 10-day undercover operation titled “Operation Cyber Child” was a success, according to police, and ended with 38 sick individuals getting their sorry asses arrested. Some of the men who were arrested included an elementary school teacher, a registered sex offender, a Disney employee and a man on vacation with his family. Sadly, none of this comes as a shock to readers of this site.
After responding to the fictitious ads, police say the men then engaged with undercover detectives posing as children via online chats, email, text, and the phone. The men solicited the “children” for sex acts, sent pornographic images of themselves, and asked the children to reciprocate.
Several of the suspects actually drove to the house where the children supposedly lived, in order to have sex with them. Some of the standouts were:
Matthew Chillcott, a 43-year-old teacher at Lawton Chiles Elementary School in Orlando and youth soccer coach.…Continue Reading
The FBI say that over an eight year period, 66-year-old Charles Edward “Chuck” Reese, the CFO for Champagne Beverage, paid two women $750, 000 for sexually explicit videos of themselves along with their children, relatives, and even their pets.
The investigation into Charles Reese’s activities began when Photobucket.com alerted authorities to inappropriate media that had been uploaded by a user. One video showed a woman engaged in a sex act with a boy around 2-years-old. One subpoena later, and the FBI were able to identify the woman as a 28-year-old living in Vidor, Texas. The boy in the video was her own son.
The woman also happened to be dead, having passed away in a hospital for reasons that have not been disclosed. Investigators were able to retrieve the woman’s cell phone regardless, and found that it contained even more sexually explicit videos involving other children.…Continue Reading
SOMERVILLE, NJ – Police have arrested the assistant principal at Bernardsville Middle School, accusing him of secretly filming underage boys taking showers at a Catholic high school for over three years.
I haven’t found what triggered the investigation that led to police searching 54-year-old Patrick J. Lott’s home, but when they did they found numerous videos of underage boys showering together. Using the videos, they were able to locate a hidden camera installed in the shower area of Immaculata High School where Lott volunteered as a videographer.
Prosecutors said the videos were made between January 2008 and Dec. 13 of this year and featured at least 22 boys showering, nine of which were underage at the time they were surreptitiously filmed.
Lott has been charged with 22 counts of invasion of privacy, and more than two dozen charges of endangering the welfare of a child. If he makes his $500,00 bail, he is not allowed to return to work, nor is he to have any contact with any children under the age of 16.…Continue Reading
Schaumburg, IL – A couple of teachers are in the news today, starting with a math teacher at a Christian school who just got busted jacking off behind his desk in front of a classroom full of students.
Police say 75-year-old Paul LaDuke, a teacher at Schaumburg Christian School for over 10 years, was seated behind his podium when he lowered his pants and began masturbating. Another student noticed what he was doing and told another teacher. Since this is not a public school, LaDuke was fired that same day and police were contacted.
On Monday, after investigators interviewed several students, LaDuke was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child. Police believe LaDuke has been doing this several times a year for a decade. Police also said there is no evidence that any students were inappropriately touched or physically harmed.
Maybe it’s because of all the weird shit we post, the only things about this story that surprised me was that LaDuke was capable of an erection and that he chose to lower his pants to take care of it.…Continue Reading
Kennet, Missouri – Police have arrested a man after witnesses say he drove up to Sonic Drive-in, got out of his car completely nekkid and began jacking-off in front of several people, including children.
Police were called but the derpy ham baster, later identified as 45-year-old Keith O. Smith, had already left the scene before they got there. He was found a little while later after his 2010 Ford Mustang was spotted by police.
Smith was charged with 1st degree sexual misconduct and two counts of 2nd degree sexual misconduct. He is currently in jail on a $12,000 cash-only bond.
I think I’ve been writing these stories too long as the only thing that surprised me in this one was that a Sonic Drive-in had customers. Their food is practically inedible.…Continue Reading
Astoria, NY — Two questions: Do you resemble the fella in the sketch to the left? Do you frequent public libraries and have a thing for little feet? If so, the police would like to have a word with you, ya sicko.
Police are looking for an alleged foot fetishist after a 7-year-old girl reported being accosted and sniffed in the children’s section of the Queens Library in Astoria last month.
According to the kiddo, she was just sitting there on the floor minding her own business when a strange man approached her and attempted to make small talk before yanking off her shoes and fondling her feet, rubbing them on his face.
“I didn’t know what to do. I was so petrified,” the girl said. “[He] Sniffed them, rubbed them against his beard, and kissed them. Did it to each foot. And then he did the same and just sniffed my flip flops.”
The alleged perv then took off while the child ran to her mother in another part of the library.…Continue Reading
El Segundo, Calif. — A California pedophile is probably sweating bullets at the moment after being caught masturbating while watching a toddler playing in a kiddie pool at an apartment complex.
On Saturday, a woman used her cellphone to get a picture the man as he jacked-off while watching the toddler through a hole in a fence.
He’s described as a Caucasian man in his 30s, medium build, with short brown hair and wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans.
Police would really, really like to talk with this idiot, so if you have any information on him, contact the El Segundo Police Department at (310) 524-2284.…Continue Reading
Ukiah, CA - Clarence Christmas, 39, was arrested after police reportedly found him in the corner of a Curves Fitness Center, nude from the waist down, and masturbating.
Police were responding to a call from a Curves employee expressing how much they had not liked Christmas showing up unannounced and fapping his junk for all to see.
The Curves employee had originally told Christmas to leave or she would call police, but instead he grabbed her by the shoulder, police said. According to police, Christmas ‘grabbed her buttocks’ when she turned away to get a phone to call police. He also is accused of touching a Curves patron while masturbating, police said.
You may be surprised to learn that this is not Chistimas’ first offense. Christmas had been arrested in May 2010 when he was found without pants or underwear masturbating while watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks in Ukiah, police said.
For that incident, he was arrested for indecent exposure, possession of a methamphetamine smoking pipe and parole violation. …Continue Reading
Flint, MI – Police in Michigan sure would like to find the young man busted as he peered under the stalls at a Macy’s to catch a glimpse at two teen girls trying on prom dresses.
I’d like to thank him for one of the funniest pictures I’ve seen this week.
The two girls were in a Macy’s dressing room back in June trying on prom dresses and taking pictures of themselves. (*unzips pants*)
Later, when the two 14-year-olds (*zips pants back up*) were checking out the pictures they had taken, they realized they had captured a man watching the pair from underneath the stall doors.
“Our jaw dropped when we saw that someone was looking in on us,” said one of the teens. The two girls were dressed in the particular picture that captured the Peeping Tom, but obviously they weren’t always that way while inside the dressing room and that frightens both the girls and angers their parents.
“It makes me furious what he’s doing! He needs to be caught,” said one of the girls’ father who reported the incident to Macy’s and turned the photo over to to the police.…Continue Reading