An obviously offended resident put in a call to 911 at about 9:30 Friday night to complain about a butt-nekkid pedestrian who appeared to be masturbating.
Officers caught up with the alleged wanker, identified as Osmar Hernandez, in the 1500 block of Huey P. Long (tee-hee).
Police say Osmar was nekkid from the waist down and holding his shorts in his hand.
When asked if he would kindly re-clothe himself, Osmar reportedly ignored their commands. Instead, police say, he began singing and squeezin’ – his pud, that is.
Got my fingers crossed that the dash-cam video of this particular incident finds it’s way to national television.
Gretna Assistant Police Chief Anthony Christiana said officers did not recognize the tune.
Osmar eventually redressed and was promptly carted off to jail. Officers noted he had trouble keeping his balance and smelled of alcohol.
I wish the arresting officers had been able to pick up the tune… the curiosity is killing me.…Continue Reading
Northampton, UK - The UK furniture retailer Sofa King came under fire when an advertisement in a local newspaper – using their 9-year-old slogan – drew complaints from three readers.
From it’s early beginnings, Sofa King has taken pride in the particular way that they do business. Customers were assured that the prices they were paying were not just low - they were Sofa King low! …and the delivery wasn’t just fast – it was Sofa King fast!
But, alas, an era has ended… The recent review by the UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) stemming from the reader’s objections resulted in one inescapable conclusion – their slogan is Sofa King offensive that it should not be used.
“The ASA noted that the phrase ‘Sofa King Low’ used the advertiser’s company name – but considered that it could be interpreted as a derivative of the swear word ‘f***’, which consumer research had found to be a word so likely to offend that it should not be used in ads at all, even when it was relevant to the name of a product,” the industry watchdog group explained.…Continue Reading
According to the arrest affidavit, provided by the fine folks over at The Smoking Gun, an unidentified witness called police after gettin’ an eyeful of said schlong. The witness went on to say that as he followed Keen through the parking lot, he couldn’t help but notice that Keen would stop and stare whenever he saw a female in the lot.
When questioned by police, Keen initially claimed he was simply trying to figure out whether he had properly fixed the power steering on his Ford Taurus. When confronted with the witnesses statement, Keen fessed, reportedly telling the arresting officer that, yes, he did have his penis exposed. Why? Apparently because of ‘past experiences’ at the retail giant. See, according to what Keen told police, a visit to WalMart gives him wood.
Keen was booked on obscenity charges. He remains behind bars in lieu of $5,000 bail.…Continue Reading
BONNEAU, S.C. – There have been many times in my life as a female, where I have been competent enough to dig deep into my pockets, clutch my virtual round heuvos with my hand and pull those bad boys out proudly. That’s right, I have balls. I’m badass and hardcore. Apparently, some out there feel the same way about their vehicles.
A woman in South Carolina adorned the trailer hitch of her truck with a set of red, rubber Bull Balls. In case of any of you are not familiar with these things, they look like a pair of big-ass bull testicles down to the veins.
I don’t know about you but a picture of bull nuts on the back of a truck doesn’t scream sex to me. It screams, “I have big tacky balls on my truck because I think my truck is super strong and stuff!”
Obscene? Eh. Classy? YES!
But Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda wasn’t amused by Virginia Tice’s testes proudly swaying in front of him and cited her stating her plumbs violated the state’s Obscene Bumper sticker laws that says “a sticker, decal or emblem is indecent when it describes, in a patently offensive way… sexual acts, excretory functions or parts of the human body.”
Fuda said Tice could have avoided a ticket if she had agreed to remove the dangly orbs.…Continue Reading
Monagut, LA — Ron Christopher Chauvin, 39, was arrested after reportedly sending text message photos of his erect penis to five female real estate agents. This after he admitted retrieving their contact information from signs posted at area real estate offerings.
One agent told a Sheriff’s deputy that, after receiving the first message, she replied to Chauvin and told him that he must have the wrong number. After he continued to send more photos of his penis, she decided to contact the Sheriff’s Office.
The deputy reportedly traced the messages to Chauvin. According to police, Chauvin admitted to sending the obscene photos when questioned.
Chauvin has been released from the Terrebonne Parish Jail on a $25,000.00. His arraignment date is set for August 25, 2011.…Continue Reading
Gaston County, NC – After a 39-year-old woman received a text that contained photos of a male’s genitals, a teen was charged with disseminating obscenity. James Blair Lackey, 19, says the text was a joke and was accidentally sent to the victim. The woman did not find the text funny. In fact she was “offended by the text and she’s glad her children did not see the picture,” according to an affidavit. Lackey was released on bond and should feel lucky all he got was some obscenity charges for sending out pics of a man’s genitals. Last time I sent out pics of my junk, I got slapped with deadly weapon charges (*insert rimshot*). But seriously, obscenity charges for an accidental text? I’m curious who pursued the charges. I’m assuming the victim did. If it were some pics out of Jaded’s Midget Anal Sex-O-Rama collection maybe I’d get it. But criminal charges over an unintentional dick pic? God forbid this woman is ever introduced to Chat Roulette.…Continue Reading
Kenner, LA - One more reason to avoid WalMart – Ricky Scott. According to police, the 55-year-old pervert has a long history of obscenity and indecent exposure charges. As a matter of fact, lisaznola posted an article about Scott in our forums back in 2008. When that particular article was posted, Scott already had 19 arrests under his belt – all for obscenity. The arrests, which date back to 1984, have netted Scott countless years of probation, a five-year suspended prison sentence and a total of 8-months behind bars. He will whip that thing out whenever and wherever he pleases – fast food restaurants, motel balconies, WalMart – it doesn’t matter. And he doesn’t care who his audience is either. Dude just can’t keep it in his pants. Knowing that, it’s no big surprise that he’s back in the news. This time he’s accused of jerkin’ off in the electronics department at WalMart. An off-duty Kenner police officer working a security detail was approached by a concerned shopper who informed him that it appeared as if Scott was crankin’ his shank while watching a young boy.…Continue Reading
Fort Smith, Arkansas – Not much on this one yet, but Cody and Kenny (also a Wal-Mart employee), both 20, played a prank at a Wal-Mart that may end up not being worth the laughs they got. They removed a promotional DVD and loaded a pornographic DVD into a player that was shown on over six screens in the store. It played for several minutes before management turned it off after being notified by a customer. Ha Ha Ha, right? Yeah, I thought it was kinda lame myself. Anyway, their prank has them learning some legal lessons about Arkansas and obscenity laws after they were identified from surveillance footage shown on a local Crime Stopper’s broadcast. They were arrested and are now facing felony charges of displaying an obscene film. I looked up Arkansas law in regards to displaying an obscene film and it looks like they are both facing fines up to $2,000 and a possible 1 to 5 years in prison. People, seriously, it pays to check the possible legal ramifications of a prank if caught, even lame ones like this.…Continue Reading
Welcome to the latest edition of Pervy Twofer Tuesday, Demonites and Denizens. Today, we have Andrew Sweet and Joey Lehrman. Andrew is all about consistency, Wednesdays, and a room with a view. Joey Lehrman is totally into education and skin care.…Continue Reading
These two pervy scoundrels hail from different parts of the US, but both have a couple things in common-depravity and teen-aged girls. Leslie Moon, 63, is from Fairmont, WV. Robert Vanderhoff, 54, resides in St. Tammany Parish, NO. Moon enjoys photography and water-sports. Vanderhoff is a sucker for a sleep-over.…Continue Reading