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Waylon PumpkinseedBISMARCK, ND – Waylon Pumpkinseed has some trouble with kids. He just can’t seem to not injure them in some way. On Monday, March 2nd, he was arrested by US Federal Marshals on federal child abuse charges.

Pumpkinseed brought his four month old daughter to the emergency room at the Fort Yates Hospital for a cough, where doctors determined that the 7 pound girl was in respiratory distress and immediately transported the baby to better-equipped facilities in Bismarck, North Dakota.

Katherine Ludewig, a special agent for the FBI, spoke with the doctor caring for the child at CHI St. Alexius, who advised that this was a severe case of child abuse and neglect. X-rays taken back at Fort Yates showed that the infant has multiple healed and unhealed bone fractures of the ribs and skull.

During the interview with the FBI, Pumpkinseed changed his story multiple times, but he admitted to squeezing the child too hard two times. The third incident he admitted to picking up the baby and squeezing and shaking her for 30 to 45 seconds, causing the baby’s eyes to roll back into her head.…

Jordan McKayGRAFTON, ND – Police have accused 23-year-old Jordan Nelson of locking four young children in a dog cage in the basement of their home, and feeding one of the kids dog food.

Court documents say the children, ages 5 to 9, were being held under “terrorizing conditions.”

More specifically, Nelson, who is in a relationship with the children’s biological mother, would punish the children by placing them in the dog cage in the basement and turning off the light.

Nelson is also accused of making one of the kids eat dog food, which made him throw up. When police interviewed the children, one of them drew a picture of himself in the kennel with the words “help me.”

Police did not note if the child wanted help because they were in a kennel or because they were in North Dakota.

Nelson was arrested and has been charged with four counts of felony abuse and neglect of a child and felonious restraint. She’s since been released on bond and ordered to stay away from the children.…

Thaddeus MorganFargo, ND — A 24-year-old man was arrested last week, accused of assaulting his sister after an argument about proper toilet seat etiquette.

According to the police report, Thaddeus Morgan slapped and pushed his sister, 23-year-old Cynthia, after she confronted him about leaving the toilet seat up.

At some point during the verbal argument between the two, Cynthia claimed, Thaddeus pushed her and broke her glasses. When she attempted to dial 911, she told police, Thaddeus took her cellphone.

Thaddeus admitted to slapping his sister with an open hand, grabbing her wrists, pushing her and interfering with her phone call, but insists she was throwing toys at him.

The two were separated, told to grow the fuck up and sent to their rooms without dinner. Erm, I mean, Thaddeus was arrested for interfering with an emergency call, a felony, and misdemeanor assault.

Personally, I always look before I sit so I don’t really give two shits about whether the seat is up or down. I will, however, cut a motherfucker if the seat is down and wet.…

Ashley HunterFargo, ND — One man is facing charges and another is nursing a wounded arm after a threesome apparently went from sexy to stabby.

According to police, 33-year-old Ashley Hunter and former prison pal, Orlando DeWitt, 37, had been drinkin’ it up with a few friends of the female persuasion, when they decided to take the party to Hunter’s house.

DeWitt and one of the women, identified only as Leticia, started snoggin’ on the couch. That, of course, led to a coupling. DeWitt told police that he caught Hunter watching them from another room.

At some point during all this sexy, Hunter apparently materialized in the living room and began kissing Leticia’s bewbies. Leticia then began blowing Hunter, while DeWitt was still getting his groove on.

Everything was all hunky-dory…. for a minute.

Hunter reportedly demanded to have his turn down below. When DeWitt refused, Hunter got pissy and the two began to argue. Shit got real serious when DeWitt called Hunter a “fucking retard.”

It was then, police allege, that Hunter whipped out his big, 12-inch ……… knife.…

BISMARCK, N.D. — Police have arrested a man after they say he used a cattle prod on his ex-girlfriend during an argument.

According to the criminal complaint, 37-year-old Christopher Martin went to the home of his ex-girlfriend and accused her of stealing $500 from him the night before. The ensuing argument resulted in Martin producing a 5-foot-long cattle prod that he used to shock his ex.

When police arrived and interviewed Martin, he admitted shocking his ex out of anger over the missing money. Martin’s day got even better after a K-9 search dog at the scene hit on his vehicle. The resulting search would yield some weed, some meth and drug-related paraphernalia.

Martin was arrested and charged with felony aggravated assault-domestic violence along with a myriad of drug related charges. If convicted on the felony assault, he faces five years in prison and a $5000 fine.…

Kensal, ND – According to police in Kensal, 55-year-old Kevin Gienger dognapped his neighbor’s purebred poodle last Saturday, and by Sunday, had castrated the animal. The dog was found in Gienger’s home along with a few scalpels and some syringes. It is unknown whether the dog was anesthetized for the procedure. Authorities say Gienger did not have the owner’s permission to castrate the dog. Gienger says he castrated the critter because it had been running loose in the neighborhood, making a nuisance of itself. Heh…I can think of a few humans in my own neighborhood who fit that description. Gienger was arrested on suspicion of stolen property and mistreating animals, both Class A misdemeanors, and has since been released. He says he plans to plead not guilty in the case, but if convicted on the charges, he’s looking at one year in prison and a $2,000 fine. The poodle has since been taken to the veterinarian – it’s condition is unknown. Thanks, Cat!…

Fargo, ND – The neck-tatted derelict you see to the left is 20-year-old Lawrence St. John Jr. He has admitted to abusing his girlfriend’s infant, puncturing the child’s lung and injuring his windpipe, because he was in the mood for love. Yeah, Lawrence was hoping for a little nookie with the baby’s mother, but the baby, being a baby and all, was crying and fussing, hindering Lawrence’s abilities to perform. Soooo, he picked the 4-month-old child up by his throat and threw him face down on the bed. He then picked the baby up by the back of his neck and shoved him onto the floor. Though Lawrence initially denied harming the child, blaming the injuries on the big bad bed, police say he admitted to the abuse in the presence of the child’s mother, his girlfriend of two whole months, Amanda Otterobe. One officer later reported that Amanda “tensed up with obvious clenched fists and pulled away” as Lawrence tried to hug her. Police also say that during his interview, the shitstain never even asked about the baby’s condition.…

David Neil’s Fiance Got Sh*t-Faced

April 19, 2010 at 7:11 am by  

Fargo, ND – I’m the kind of chickie who chooses her battles wisely – there is a time and place for a heated lovers quarrel and one must take that into consideration before going off at the mouth. For instance, if me and my significant other were in a tiff, I wouldn’t start screaming obscenities and knockin’ his bedroom skills while he was in the garage playing around with the circular saw. And he would be wise to keep his argumentative, penny pinchin’ mouth shut while I’m in the kitchen with the poky stabby things. And now, thanks to David Neal, I have crossed off yet another area of the home in which battling is not wise – the bathroom. In the middle of an argument over money, David’s fiancé cornered him in the shitter while he was taking a dump. NOT an ideal time or place for conversation, or anything else for that matter. Fed up with the arguing, David allegedly reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped his hand around some freshly squeezed poo and proceeded to wipe said poo across the woman’s face.…

Fargo, North DakotaYou may recall a recent post here at the Dreamin’ Demon about Zhifang Chen, a mother who bit her child’s cheek because he was eating his breakfast too slowly. Would you believe that I have found another ass of a mother with absolutely no patience? Of course you’d believe it…this is the Dreamin’ Demon!…

Matthew Zobach Broke Another Baby

May 2, 2009 at 11:47 am by  

Fargo, North DakotaIn November 2005, Matthew Zobach was sentenced to 60 days in jail and 5 years supervised probation after being convicted on charges of felony child endangerment. Earlier that year, Zobach’s 2-month-old daughter was brought to an emergency room with a laceration to her throat and a fractured right femur and left rib. Zobach admitted to causing the injuries–he forced a plastic syringe into the back of the baby’s mouth to administer medication–he wrapped his hands around her torso and squeezed, in an attempt to alleviate a constipation problem–in a fit of frustration, he forcibly pulled her right leg to try to put it into a snowsuit. The terms of his probation required that he have no unsupervised contact with children under the age of 16. Hmmm…wonder why he’s gracing the front page?…


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