Long Island, NY - Got a house-guest that just won’t leave? Here’s an idea – burn ‘em out! According to authorities, that’s exactly what Cynthia Richardson did. Cynthia’s neighbor, Ricky Miller, says he watched her pour some kind of liquid outside her home Tuesday morning. “I didn’t know it was gasoline,” he said. “Then she went inside and within a few minutes the whole house was up in flames.” As her house was burning, Cynthia was seen praying on her front lawn. Did I mention there were three people in the home at the time? Her 19-year-old daughter, her sister and her sister’s boyfriend were inside the home when the fire broke. Luckily, all three managed to escape without injury. Police believe Cynthia set the fire because she wanted her sister’s boyfriend, Joseph Small, to move out. Judging by the picture after the jump, it looks as if the house was totaled. Good goin’, brainiac! Now everyone is homeless. Well, except for Cynthia – she’ll be getting three hots and a cot for a bit.…Continue Reading
Darien, NY – The sad lookin’ fella you see to the left is 19-year-old Michael Johnson. He’s gracing the pages of our esteemed website because he’s an imbecile who obviously doesn’t think shit through. Johnson wanted to play a little prank on a buddy of his. So while his friend was sleeping, Johnson emptied an entire tube of super glue on his cheek. Johnson thought the boy would reach up to touch it and his hand would get stuck to his face. Instead, the glue ran into the boy’s eye and into his ear – sealing the eye shut and possibly damaging his ear canal. When the boy woke up, he couldn’t open his eye or hear out of one ear. Oh yeah…that’s funny shit. You know what would be even funnier, Michael? Someone gluing your dick to your asshole while you dozed. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? The 17-year-old prank victim required treatment at the hospital and will probably need to see a specialist about the ear. Johnson is looking at a misdemeanor assault charge right now, but that could be elevated to a felony if the medical report indicates there’s serious physical injury.…Continue Reading
- Well it’s the end of another day and I cannot wait to go home and play some more Red Dead Redemption take out my yacht. But before we go here are a few stories we read but didn’t feel like writing more than a few sentences about:
- BARDONIA – Six junior class students have been expelled from New York’s Albertus Magnus High School after sneaking brownies laced with marijuana on a class trip to Washington. The inevitable Facebook Group has been created in support of the kids by people who feel the punishment is too harsh for a crime so goddamn stupid.
- SACRAMENTO – A 15-year-old has been charged with battery 8-months after playing some tight defense with a kid during a basketball game. The other player ended up falling out of bounds and hit his face on a wall. The boy did not need medical attention at the time, but something changed since then…maybe it was a case of Lawyeritis.
- BOISE – Valerie F. Taddicken, 31, was busted stealing two candy bars.
New York – Just fuckin’ with ya’ – it was a pair of pit bulls. Hey look, if some other dogs maul some people and make the news, I’ll be more than happy to post about it. On Tuesday morning, a pair of pit bulls escaped from their kennels in an unfenced backyard. The owner was not home, but his sister was. She went outside and tried to get the two dogs, a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old, back into their kennel when they began to attack her. A 45-year-old neighbor across the street heard the sister’s screams and went out to help only to have both dogs begin attacking her. It wasn’t until firefighters arrived that the dogs stopped their assault. By this time the sister had suffered puncture wounds to both arms and a large bite wound to her right leg while the neighbor suffered a large facial wound along with puncture wounds to her head and face and large bite wounds to both legs. No charges have been filed against the owner at this time.…Continue Reading
Staten Island- A 52-year old father named James Moss was arrested last week for allegedly shoving his naked 9-year old son into an oven. The reason? Moss said he was punishing his son, Christopher Moss, for going through his wallet. Moss allegedly told his son, “I’m going to burn you alive.” Even though the oven was not turned on, Christopher still suffered second and third degree burns from his father’s tirade because Moss allegedly held the boy’s hands for two minutes over the flames of the stove’s burner. Moss is also accused of slapping his son in the face, hitting him with a spatula and dragging him across the floor. According to the report, Moss is not backing off and says the punishment was justified. Moss was charged with second degree assault and endangering the welfare of a child. Christopher was taken to a hospital, where he was treated for his injuries.…Continue Reading
Brooklyn, NY- Last Wednesday, a salesman named Alen Bairamoukov, 35, was working at Flatbush Xpress Furniture in Brooklyn when he received nature’s call and went to use the bathroom. But to his disadvantage, the bathroom was occupied by the cleaning woman, 56-year old Lily Rose Vaughan who was busy scrubbing the room. Bairamoukov, who suffers from gastritis, explained to Vaughan that he desperately needed to use the bathroom. Bairamoukov said he told Vaughan, “Rosie, I’m dying, please, I have to go inside!” and Vaughan told him to “Go next door!” The two began arguing to where Vaughan became so flushed with anger, she smashed Bairamoukov with the toilet’s porcelain tank lid and then bit him on the neck. Officers were called to the store and arrested Lily Rose Vaughan for assault. She was released on her own recognizance and claims she was acting in self defense. Bairamoukov said he had a good relationship with Vaughan for many years and never expected anything like this. The lovely lady’s pic is provided after the jump.…Continue Reading
Lansingburgh, NY- A 40-year old man named Scott Wolf is a real piece-of-shit role-model for his 18-year old son, Robert Wolf. Both men were arrested recently and are accused of sexually abusing the same young girl. Court documents allege that both father and son raped had repeated sexual contact with the 10-year old girl for several months during 2008 and 2009. The girl knew both men and the alleged abuse is believed to have taken place in the men’s apartment. Scott Wolf has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and felony predatory sexual assault. Robert Wolf was also charged with misdemeanor endangering the welfare of a child as well as 1st degree felony course of sexual conduct with a child. Robert Wolf’s attorney is fighting to get youthful offender status for his client due to the time in which the alleged crimes occurred.…Continue Reading
Yonkers, NY - Jenna is a 4-year-old German Shepherd. She spends her days on guard at Valley Oil, a company ran by Paul Tocco and his family. Jenna spends much of her time on a leash doing what dogs do – guarding and barking. Andrew Owens doesn’t like Jenna much and the feeling is mutual – not just because Owens is an ass, but because Jenna apparently hates all nonwhites. “The dog reacts to black people, Hispanics, anyone who is not white,” Tocco said. “She always barked at him. He (Owens) was well aware the dog didn’t like him, and he knew to stay away from her.” Owens worked as a handyman at Valley Oil and has threatened to kill the dog in the past. He told officers the dog had bitten him sometime last year. The bite obviously wasn’t serious enough to warrant action and Owens continued to work at the company. It all came to a head last Monday night when Owens may have grown tired of Jenna’s excessive barking, and decided to put a stop to it.…Continue Reading
Weehawken, NJ- Two men from Tennessee, who could possibly be relatives of Gomer Pyle, were driving through the Lincoln Tunnel last Friday morning when Port Authority cops pulled them over for a missing a license plate. When an officer asked the driver, 41-year old Donald Martin West, for his license, West handed it over along with a a Tennessee gun permit. The officer asked West why he gave him a gun permit and West responded, “I got a gun on me.” then, cheerfully added, “In the small of my back.” Stunned over West’s honesty, the officer delved further and asked if he had anything else on him, to which West replied, “Yes. There’s a bag of weed and some pipes.” Not stopping there, West also admitted he had handcuffs, hollow-point bullets and an extra gun magazine. When the officer asked the passenger, 23-year old Troy Davis, if he had anything in the vehicle he wanted to admit, Davis pointed to the car’s ashtray and said, “There’s two blunts in the ashtray.” …Continue Reading
Queens, NY- The continuous abuse for an 11-month old English Bulldog named Spike finally came to an end on February 24. ASPCA investigators were called to a home after witnesses reported hearing a dog crying. A witness armed with a cell phone recorded Maria Aguilar, 36, throwing the small pooch to the ground and then striking him several times with a snow shovel. At first, Aguilar denied beating her dog, but permitted ASPCA officials to take him to the hospital. Officials discovered that this was not the first time the dog had suffered abuse. The ASPCA learned Aguilar’s husband had taken the dog to a veterinarian a dozen times over the past seven months where it was discovered the dog was suffering from a fractured hip, broken leg, three broken teeth, injuries to his ears and is also virtually blind in his right eye. …Continue Reading
Long Island, NY - Amiri Zeqiri, 17, was just doing his job Sunday evening when his life was cut short in one of the most horrifying, disgusting and unimaginable manners possible. Amiri, who was employed by Dunkin’ Donuts, was taking out the trash that evening when he tumbled 20-feet down into an open cesspool. His cousin, 14-year-old Faton Zeqiri, was inside the donut shop at the time and realized something was wrong when Amiri failed to return from his errand. He soon found Amiri stuck in about 8 feet of water and waste. Faton attempted to pull Amiri out of the muck, but was unsuccessful. When the younger boy returned with help, Amiri was struggling to stay afloat. “I think I broke my arm. I feel blood running,“ he shouted to his would-be rescuers. “I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to let go.” Ohmyfuckinggod. When rescue personnel arrived on scene, they pulled Amiri from the pit and transported him to the hospital. Unfortunately, it was too late.…Continue Reading
Victor, N.Y. — On January 15th, a Victor Central School District school resource officer received a complaint about a 12-year-old boy who may have raped a girl under the age of 11. After conducting an investigation, it was determined that three girls under the age of 11 may have been victims. Now the 12-year-old boy has been charged with three counts of first-degree rape, three counts of first-degree sexual abuse and additional sex crimes. “The information we have from the Sheriff’s Department indicates that these alleged crimes did not occur on the Victor Central School campus,” Victor Superintendent Dawn Santiago-Marullo wrote in an e-mail. She said the district is cooperating with the investigation. The boy, whose name has not been released, was arraigned and released to his parents. He was also issued orders of protection prohibiting him from having contact with the alleged victims and is to return to court on Feb. 19 to answer the charges. The family has also hired a lawyer and are trying to get a gag order in place.…Continue Reading
Rochester, NY – An 8-month-old child is suffering first, second, and third degree burns to his back and butt because Kelly Hernandez didn’t feel like bending over. Hernandez, an in-home daycare provider, has had her license suspended and is facing child abuse charges after she allegedly placed her young charge on top of the stove to change his diaper. Somehow, the electric burner was turned on while the child was sitting on it. Hernandez was reportedly distraught and crying while undergoing questioning, as she should have been. She admitted to police that she had made a stupid mistake, but said she was lazy that day and “didn’t want to bend over to change the baby so she put him on the stove top.” I’ve changed diapers in some off the wall places, but the kitchen stove never crossed my mind. The child’s parents say the burns are so bad, the baby may need plastic surgery. Hernandez, 44, has been charged with second-degree assault and reckless assault of a child by a day care provider and has been released on $1,500 bail.…Continue Reading
New York – Now, if you happen to be a homeless, drug-addicted scourge on the streets of New York, your luck just improved!!! New York City’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has spent $32,000 of taxpayers’ money to produce a how-to guide for shooting heroin! Yes, you heard right. 70,000 copies of this handy little 16-page guide featuring comic illustrations have been published to help you along. The guide teaches you how to prepare your drugs, how to care for your veins so they don’t get infected, prepare your veins for injection (jump up and down to warm your body and see the veins), and other nifty little nuggets needed for the shooting up of various intravenous drugs. Oh, and if you miss the vein the first time, the pamphlet suggests that you keep on trying until you get it right! Wow, way to care for your citizens, Big Apple. Thanks. …Continue Reading
Saranac Lake, NY- Part time teacher and full time asshole Michael J. Scaringe is being charged with first degree rape of a 13 year old girl. Police haven’t released too many details, but the attack occurred a few days before Christmas in the Town of Harrietstown. The victim, a regular at the town’s community center, told her parents about the incident, which led to to his capture. To add insult to injury, Michael’s attorney has dismissed the reliability of his victim, telling one newspaper “Police only acted on a mere accusation by a 13-year-old individual.” The attorney also claims that Michael has no prior arrests, however many other newspapers have reported that in 1995, Michael, possibly under the name Josephson, was arrested for the molestation of a 14 year old student in Florida. He was acquitted on those charges when that attorney made a similar argument that the student had fabricated the story. If Michael is convicted, he faces eight to twenty five years in prison. Is Michael just the innocent victim of repeated teenage angst?…Continue Reading
Brooklyn, NY – Demonites, meet Lordtyshon (really?) Garrett. Judging by his Myspace pics, Lordtyshon (for real?) is a pretty beefy guy, certain to give a grown man a run for his money if it came to a beat-down. But against a 9 lb. cat? That pussy had no chance. Lordtyshon (?) and his wife were moochin’ off living with the wife’s mother, Deborah Bender. When Deborah told her good-fer-nothin’ son-in-law to get off his ass and get a job and/or vacate the premises, Lordtyshon got all offended and shit. It is alleged that on October 12, Lordtyshon (I feel retarded even typing that out) lured Deborah’s 4-year-old cat, Madea, into the bathroom, turned on the shower and closed the door. When the cat emerged from the bathroom, she was soaked and was having difficulty breathing. Lordtyshon then began to chase the cat around the apartment, beating, stabbing, and poking her with an umbrella. Madea didn’t survive the abuse the big tough guy doled out – she was left with injuries as severe as if she had fallen off a high-rise building or been hit by a car – and was put down.…Continue Reading
Brooklyn, New York – A janitor at James Madison High School in Midwood witnessed French teacher Cindy Mauro, 33, and Alino Brito, 29, a married Spanish instructor, naked with each other inside an empty classroom. The janitor, Robert Colantuoni, decided not to do what most hetero males would do in that situation and simply toss one off in the hallway and then write a letter to Penthouse. Nope, he went and told school officials. Since then, both women have been removed from the classroom and sent to Education Department “rubber rooms” while they’re investigated for misconduct. Lawyers for the women said they both “categorically deny the salacious allegations.” Both teachers were very popular among students and a Facebook Group has been created in support of the two teachers which I have joined. Also, if the two are guilty of the accusations or not, let me go on record and state that I strongly encourage all hot teachers to please think of the children and partake in this activity at every opportunity.…Continue Reading
New York – At around 2 a.m. Saturday, some New York subway riders witnessed a horrific attack that started when a disorientated Gerardo Sanchez asked Dwight Johnson to move his duffel bag so he could sit down. When Johnson politely pointed out the other empty seats on the train, Sanchez pulled out a steak knife and began stabbing him in the face and neck. A witness stated Johnson was screaming, “‘I’m dying, I’m dying,’ and there was blood coming out of his mouth and spraying out his neck.” The entire time, Sanchez was following him around telling him he should have just let him sit down. Johnson died quickly from a severed carotid artery, found still sitting dead in his seat with his eyes open. Sanchez was arrested and charged with murder. Friends and family say Sanchez has not been the same person since suffering a head injury from a 2-story fall two weeks ago.…Continue Reading
Long Island – Last Thursday, the guys from Rescue Ink: Unleashed got a call about a disturbing case of animal cruelty. The cast, a bunch of big, schmexy, tattooed, biker types who strive to save stolen and abused animals, headed out to the home of 43-year-old Sharon McDonough. Upon discovery of five dogs in the home, crammed into cages, malnourished and neglected, the crew put in a call to the SPCA. Further investigation revealed that the five dogs inside the home were just the tip of the iceberg. The SPCA returned to Sharon’s home Saturday morning armed with a search warrant and some shovels – they wanted to start digging in her back yard. And dig they did, unearthing the remains of as many as 20 cats and dogs. …Continue Reading
Brooklyn, NY - Oh, to be young in love. There’s the initial meeting when the sparks fly. Then you got the inevitable butterflies in your stomach when your loved one looks at you that certain way. Following that, it’s those three little words that seem to mean the world to so many people – ” Hey. Wanna fuck?” Oh wait, wrong words. Oops. You soon realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your entire life with – you pop the question. Tears are shed, acceptances are made, everything is just fine and hunky-friggin-dory. A date is set. Plans are made and invitations are sent out. Finally, the big day arrives. You both utter your undying love, devotion, obedience, and all that other happy crap and a guy in a robe makes it all legal in the eyes of the law and of the lord. You eat cake, open presents, and scold your drunk Uncle Frank for hitting on your new bride/groom. After all the crap is over, it’s time for the best part (aside from the cake and presents) – the honeymoon.…Continue Reading