Albuquerque, NM — Cara Claffy, 35, is being held at the Bernalillo County jail, charged with domestic violence and aggravated battery of a family member, after allegedly knocking her mother upside the head with a vibrator.
60-year-old Sheryl Claffy called police Sunday to report that her spawn struck her on the head with the device, leaving her bloodied, and was attempting to leave the residence they shared.
Mom told police she was just sitting there watching tv, when an argument between herself and her daughter erupted. It was then, she said, that Cara grabbed the electric vibrator and whacked her in the dome.
She pointed out a pickup truck sitting nearby, and informed officers that her daughter was inside. She wasn’t. The alleged weapon, however, was. An officer retrieved the vibrator from the floor of the vehicle. A detailed description of the device has not been made available.
Cara was apprehended after exiting a nearby home. She told officers she argued with her mother, but she didn’t harm the woman. In fact, Cara said, the old lady just came out of a room, all bloody and stuff, and informed her that she had hit herself in the head with the vibrator.…Continue Reading
Sante Fe, NM — Jennifer McCarthy, ex-wife of author Cormac McCarthy, was booked on assault charges last week after allegedly pulling a gun out of her poonanner and aiming it at her boyfriend’s head following a heated argument about space aliens.
Let’s let that soak in a minute, shall we?
According to the police report, 48-year-old McCarthy and her unidentified boyfriend were discussing space aliens Saturday, when shit got retarded. At some point during the couple’s alien discussion, in between the ranting and raving, McCarthy’s boyfriend ordered her to stop touching him. In response, she touched him on the shoulder with her index finger… you know, like a 7-year-old. He, in turn, placed his hand on her neck. She didn’t feel threatened, she claimed, he was simply trying to keep her away from him. And then, well, it was all about masturbation and guns and crazy….
The boyfriend told police that after the verbal argument, McCarthy left the residence. Upon her return, she holed up in her bedroom for a minute — when she walked out, she was wearing lingerie.…Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - Last week we reported on the naked man who got his ass handed to him by the father of the girl he got caught spying on. Now it’s being reported that the father may face more time behind bars than the Peeping Tom.
Police say 29-year-old Dylan Maho was naked and making noises underneath a young girl’s window last week. When the girl’s father, Emilio Chavez III (pictures), went out to investigate with his son and his son’s friend, they found Maho and proceeded to chase him down the street before beating the ever-living shit out of the pervert.
Responding police found Maho bleeding in the street suffering from severe injuries. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Earlier news reports said he may not make it, but just like his penis outside of a kid’s bedroom window, Maho wasn’t staying down. He has since been upgraded to stable condition.
Once out of the hospital, police will charge him with felony voyeurism, a fourth-degree felony that carries a max penalty of one to two years in jail. …Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — A man is in critical condition after he got caught peeping into the window of two teenage girls, then got his naked ass beat by the girls’ father and brother.
The incident occurred at about 2:30 a.m. Thursday, when a man called 911 to report a naked Peeping Tom was caught outside his home, staring through a window at the caller’s 13- and 15-year-old daughters.
“The bushes were shaking. Then she heard groaning and moaning,” said the girls’ mother, Katrina Chavez. “My oldest son went out, said ‘What are you doing?’ and then discovered he was naked.”
Police say the girls’ dad, brother and a friend of the brother – ages 29, 19 and 19 – chased the naked man away from their home and down the street before a fight ensued. By time police arrived, the suspected pervert was found in the street, badly beaten.
The man was taken to the hospital and is in unstable, critical condition as of yesterday. So far the three men have not been arrested for putting the alleged prowler in the hospital, but the District Attorney is working with detectives to determine if they should be charged with a crime.…Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Police arrested a man in a wheelchair after witnesses say he hit a 3-year-old in the head with a hammer while inside an Albuquerque grocery store.
Police and firefighters were responded to a Smith’s grocery store Monday after receiving a call about a 3-year-old boy bleeding from the head. The boy’s stepfather said he heard his wife scream then watched as Clayton Senn hit the boy in the head with a hammer. The stepfather went after Senn, who is confined to a wheelchair, and had to be restrained by witnesses until officers arrived.
“Witnesses say they had to try to restrain the child’s father prior to police arrival because the father was obviously so upset about what happened to his child that he was trying to get at the offender,” said Tasia Martinez with Albuquerque Police.
Witnesses at the scene told police that Senn didn’t just hit the 3-year-old, that he had also chased after two other children, both under the age of 5, but neither of them were hurt. …Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Because voices from the television told him to, Martin Montano stabbed his mother and a man, stuffed them in a car trunk then tossed his mother off a bridge.
According to Albuquerque police, Montano beat and stabbed his mother, Hope, and a man named Francisco Dominguez. The 26-year-old then loaded their bodies into the trunk of a car and drove them to to the Rio Grande Bridge. That’s where he pulled his mother out of the trunk and tossed her off the bridge.
A passerby was able to intervene before Montano had a chance to throw Dominguez over the bridge, and Montano took off running. Using information from witnesses at the scene, police were able to apprehend Montano shortly afterward.
Martin Montano was arrested and charged with an attempt to commit a violent felony, attempted murder, tampering with evidence, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, unlawful taking of a motor vehicle and aggravated burglary.
He told police that he was watching television when voices informed him that his mother and Dominguez where clones, and that his real family were living underground.…Continue Reading
“Mr. Briones was observed to be having sexual intercourse with the passenger and sped off… at a high rate of speed,” the police officer wrote in a criminal complaint. “Their activities presented a danger to others in the roadway as exhibited by the accident.”
Police said that after Briones sped off, he crashed his 2006 Ford Explorer into another car after running a red light. The resulting collision ejected his female passenger from the vehicle. She was found on the ground, naked, and suffering from deep cuts to her face and hands.
Witnesses stated Briones was obviously drunk when he exited his vehicle and eventually tried to drive away from the scene, leaving the naked woman behind. When one of the witnesses took the keys from the ignition, Briones ran off and hid behind a nearby cactus wearing one shoe and with his shorts on inside-out.…Continue Reading
Glorieta, New Mexico - Selena Velasquez, 17, is in hot water after being accused of trying to extort $1500 out of a 43-year-old man she allegedly had consensual sex with.
Velasquez met the man at a Cinco de Mayo party, and the two engaged in some casual sex. After their whirlwind rendezvous, Velasquez supposedly told the man she would call the police and claim he raped her if he didn’t give her three payments of $500 over the next three Fridays.
She then went all psycho on his ass and started showing up at his work, as well sending him text messages threatening violence on him and his daughter. The man contacted police who had him call her to get audio recording where they heard “the suspect clearly threatened and extorted the victim.”
The man agreed to pay Velasquez and made plans to meet at a local Wal-Mart where he would give her the first payment. Instead of $500 bucks, she was welcomed by a swarm of police officers and was arrested at the scene.…Continue Reading
ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Would-be kidnapper David Jesus Hernandez is in custody after a New Mexico mother, alerted by a group of teenagers that he’d just taken her 4-year-old daughter, chased the man down, ramming his vehicle with her own.
The woman, who wasn’t identified, apparently didn’t know that the 31-year-old kidnapper had shoved the girl out of the car before the chase began.
“Albuquerque police Chief Ray Schultz said neighbors began yelling, which is what made the suspect push the child out of his car,” KOAT TV reported.
KQRE reported that the mother was in contact with Albuquerque police during the hot-civilian-pursuit, which started shortly after six p.m. on Indian School Rd, near the family’s apartment.
The chase lasted all the way through the North Valley and finished in the Southeast Heights, when the feisty mom went all Grand-Child-Theft-Auto on Hernandez, and slammed her car into his. Hernandez abandoned his vehicle and fled on foot.
Police launched a manhunt which included more than two dozen officers going door-to-door in efforts to locate Hernandez, as well as a helicopter equipped with heat-seeking capabilities.…Continue Reading
Santa Fe, NM - An 18-year-old high school student claims he was raped by his horticulture teacher, 31-year-old Jennifer Vigil, in her classroom at Pojoaque Valley High School.
The student states Vigil pressured him into sex acts when he turned in an assignment to her after school. She allegedly locked the classroom door and said, “You’re not leaving until I get something from you.” He initially refused, but Vigil agreed to let him leave if he let her perform a sex act on him.
Vigil admits having sex with him in her classroom, but insists the sex was consensual. However the student told police that the idea of sex with her was “disgusting.” Harsh. Vigil claims he requested oral sex from her and that led to intercourse, and he again requested to have sex with her at a later date and she agreed. He took a picture with his cellphone of her blowing him and showed it to police.
These stories are now a dime a dozen; male teenage student, attractive-ish married female teacher, sex, everybody gasps thinking a woman would know better, men everywhere ask, “Where were these teachers when I was a student?” and the overwhelming response is, “You were too ugly” .…Continue Reading
Carlsbad, NM - Courtney Hutchins, 22, was arrested for child endangerment after climbing over a barricade with her 3 year old son, Ethan, to get a closer look at a bobcat. Apparently she got a little too close as the bobcat was able to scratch the boy’s head badly enough to require 8 skull staples.
Hutchins, her brother LeeVon, and her son were at Living Desert Zoo & Gardens State Park when they decided to climb over a 40-inch high railing. Once over the outer barrier, they coaxed the cats to the inner fence and pet them. A bobcat reached through the chainlink, grabbed the boy’s head and pulled him towards it, inflicting serious head wounds on the 3 year old.
Hutchins told police she did not see any of the many signs warning against being dangerously stupid. She also said she did not know the word “barrier” before she heard police use it.
Feelings of anger and/or homicidal ideations are a natural first reaction to learning how careless and unconcerned for her own child’s welfare this woman could be. …Continue Reading
Sante Fe, NM – Back in February, we reported on 27-year-old Daniel Anaya, the Dillard’s shoe salesman accused of attacking his ex-girlfriend and trying to chew off her big toe. He’s now been arrested again, charged with doing the exact same thing.
Anaya first made the news after he broke into his ex girlfriend’s apartment, held her down and proceeded to take bites out of her toenail and toe flesh with “a blank look on his face.” Anaya was facing charges of burglary, false imprisonment, interference with communications and aggravated battery against a household member.
That case was was dismissed because a witness or prosecutor didn’t show up to court. I’m going to go out on a limb and bet that the ex-girlfriend didn’t show up, and that she is now regretting that decision.
After filing a restraining order against Anaya, the victim moved from Santa Fe to Albuquerque. This did little to deter Anaya, who tracked her down and walked into the woman’s residence on April 1st. His ex informed him that he he needed to get out and that he was violating a restraining order.…Continue Reading
Farmington police recently released a surveillance photo of a man they believe has ejaculated or tossed semen onto at least two women at a local Walmart on separate occasions.
The alleged semen slinger has been described as a Native American man, 5 feet 3 inches to 5 feet 6 inches tall, weighing approximately 165 pounds. Police say it appears as if the man chooses his victims at random.
“We think he’s been doing this since at least 2010, and he may not have stopped,” Farmington Det. Corp. Kenneth Raybon reported. “These are just the only incidents that have been reported.”
That’s a lot of batter…
“The attacks happened on March 29, 2010 and Nov. 8, 2012,” Raybon continued. “We were able to tie the two instances together with evidence that recently came to light.”
Let’s not all panic and rush to Walmart at the same time, ladies….…Continue Reading
Sante Fe, NM – Police have arrested 27-year-old Daniel Anaya after they say he broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home and bit off the tip of her big toe.
Police say that after Anaya broke into his ex’s apartment, he begged her to let him smell her feet. When the woman refused Anaya’s request, he slammed her against a wall. When she tried to call police, he took the phone away from her and threw it.
Then, according to the arrest warrant, the woman “begged him not to hurt her” as Anaya held her down, took off her socks and shoes, then proceeded to take bites out of her toenail and toe flesh with “a blank look on his face.”
She was finally able to kick free and hobble to a neighbor’s house for help. Anaya had already fled the scene by time police arrived, but was picked up on Wednesday. Anaya is facing charges of burglary, false imprisonment, interference with communications and aggravated battery against a household member.
Anaya is a college student with no criminal record who works in the shoe department of a local Dillard’s.…Continue Reading
According to the police report, 15-year-old Nehemiah Griego walked into his parents’ bedroom shortly after midnight on Saturday and retrieved a .22 caliber rifle from the closet. His father was not home at the time but his mother, 40-year-old Sara Griego, was sleeping alongside Nehemiah’s 9-year-old brother, Zephania.
Nehemiah took aim and shot his mother in the head as she was sleeping. His brother woke up and did not believe Nehemiah had killed their mother, so Nehemiah told police he lifted her head to show his brother her bloody face. When his brother began crying, Nehemiah shot him in the head as well.
He then walked into the bedroom of his two sisters, 5-year-old Jael and 2-year old Angelina, who were in their beds crying. He then shot them both in the head. Afterwards, he retrieved an AR-15 and hid in a downstairs bathroom for hours, waiting on his father to arrive home.…Continue Reading
The alleged mastermind behind the bizarro plan is convicted killer and apparent Bieber fan, 45-year-old Dana Martin – a man serving two life sentences for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old Vermont girl back in 2000.
According to police, the aged “Belieber” began to formulate his evil plan after Bieber “slighted” him by refusing to respond to any of his messages. Oh, and did I mention Martin has Bieber’s face tatted on his leg? Yeah…
Martin apparently hooked up with another prisoner, 41-year-old Mark Staake, and fed him some bullshit about how he had access to a metric shit ton of money, acreage in Vermont and some connections to some Chinese gang in New York. Not sure what Chinese gangs have to do with anything, but whatever. If Staake wanted a piece of Martin’s fame and fortune, he just had to do one simple thing………
KILL THE BIEBER.…Continue Reading
Las Cruces, NM — A 16-month-old girl was fatally attacked by a family pit bull Tuesday. Witnesses said the girl’s grandmother was accidentally shot by a neighbor trying to help the toddler. The witness accounts alleviated initial fears that a pit bull armed with a pistol and an opposable thumb was on the loose in New Mexico.
Around 11:30 a.m., Police were called by a neighbor reporting the girl’s attack and the grandmother, 52, crying for help. The 2-year-old pit bull reportedly attacked the girl in the backyard of her grandparents’ home. The grandmother was also attacked trying to help the girl.
The 69-year-old neighbor who called 911 then retrieved a .45-caliber handgun and went to help the grandmother and granddaughter. Police said the neighbor fired several shots at the dog, and one of them accidentally hit the grandmother’s leg.
“A lot of [the injuries were] to the top of her head and the side of her face,” neighbor Chris Wallard – who performed CPR – said. “I was really scared.…Continue Reading
Albuquerque, NM - New Mexico sheriff’s deputies have arrested a man suspected of impersonating a police officer in multiple jurisdictions around Albuquerque. This after reports of a self-described “undercover officer” making suspicious traffic stops and having an odd confrontation with some teenage boys.
Bernalillo County sheriff’s deputies reported arresting Joseph Hannah, 34, after two women reported separate incidents of being pulled over by a man in a black mustang – complete with flashing police lights. The man, later identified as Hannah, reportedly showed the women his gun, told them he worked undercover, and then proceeded to flirt with them.
Investigators said that Hannah also stopped his Mustang – with activated lights – at an Albuquerque home where a group of teens were playing ball out front.
“He showed me a badge and a gun so I bought it,” said one of the boys, age 15, of Hannah’s claim to be a police officer.
The boy described the encounter with Hannah – who initially remained in his vehicle – as ‘light-hearted’ but then becoming ‘scary’ when Hannah became irritated.…Continue Reading
Alamogordo, NM — New Mexico divorce lawyer and past Otero County Bar Association President Raymond Van Arnam has been jailed after pleading no contest for helping a client break into a house where her estranged husband was living.
At the time of the Oct. 28, 2011 incident, Van Arnam was representing Melissa Stonecipher in her petition for divorce from her husband. Stonecipher was separated from her husband at the time of the incident. A temporary domestic order posted on the front window of her estranged husband’s residence stated the client needed to schedule a time to get her belongings. The video shows Van Arnam arrive at his client’s former home with several people where he pounds and kicks the front door.
In a 911 call to the Alamogordo Department of Public Safety, the victim, Stonecipher’s husband, stated that his estranged wife, Stonecipher, and her attorney, Van Arnam, were attempting to forcefully enter into his personal residence. The surveillance video showed Stonecipher’s husband and a roommate leaving the residence. Van Arnam is shown rapping on the driver window with a lollipop and then speaking to the estranged husband.…Continue Reading
Albuquerque, NM – U.S. Marshals tracked Moses Sparks, 26, to a trailer park near Mullins, South Carolina on Thursday. Sparks was wanted on charges of criminal sexual penetration, kidnapping and aggravated assault of his then girlfriend after allegedly breaking into her New Mexico home in September and beating and raping her.
Sparks reportedly tried to run last Thursday night as the arrest team approached. The team – made up of Marion County drug agents, Marion County Sheriff’s deputies and deputy US Marshals – apprehended him. Authorities entering the trailer reportedly found an active drug manufacturing operation – as well as the woman whom Sparks had allegedly raped in New Mexico.
Sparks – who had been on probation for kidnapping and aggravated battery at the time of the alleged rape – was given an additional charge of manufacturing a controlled substance. His girlfriend was charged with manufacturing a controlled substance and harboring a fugitive. An additional charge of being a complete idiot is presumably still pending.Continue Reading