Sheboygan, WI – Randal Schaal and Kelly Winter weren’t too pleased when they found out their 14-year-old daughter had surreptitiously opened up a MyspaceMySpace account. Not pleased at all. As a matter of fact, they were so pissed off, they spanked that little whippersnapper real good. According to the arrest report, Kelly found the child’s account and confronted her. The child denied the page was hers. No matter – when Randal got home, he checked out the web page and “freaked out.” The girl told officers that Randal held her down on the ground and spanked her real hard about 20 times. When she tried to get away, Randal allegedly kicked the child in the left hip, said something about “making it even” before kicking her in the right hip. The child said her mother then grabbed her by the hair, pushed her head into the wall, and asked, “What’s it feel like to have both your parents beat on you?” Damn. Overreact much? A spanking? At 14? I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Randal may have some issues with anger. [Read more...]

Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 SaturdaySaturday reviews morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old MichaelMichael reviews laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. WitnessesWitnesses reviews told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger. wOOt! What. Fucking. Fun. Now Michael Duke is dead and Preston Dohrer is charged with second-degree murder and feloniously pointing a weapon at another person. Bond has been set at $250,000. Great video of Preston “pissing fire” after the jump. I must warn you though, after viewing the video, I seem to have lost 3.5 IQ points. [Read more...]

Morehead, KY – First we had the baby biter and now we have a baby raper. It’s shaping up to be a completely nauseating day here at the Dreamin’ Demon. Again, not a lot of information on this one, and in this case, I’m thankful. Meet Brandon Trent. The skeevy bastard is accused of sodomizing a 3-year-old child. According to police, Trent’s wife was babysitting for the child and left the kid alone with Trent in a car while she visited her mother at the hospital – a visit that took about 30 minutes. Trent took advantage of that time alone with the kiddo and sodomized her – right there in the parking lot. When the child’s mother picked her up later that day, the child “told her mother troubling statements that bothered her and led her to believe that her daughter had been sexually assaulted.” The child was immediately taken to the hospital for an examination. After detectives spoke with the doctors, the child, the child’s mother, and Trent, there was enough probable cause to make an arrest. Brandon Trent now sits in the Rowan County Detention Center charged with sodomy in the first-degree – a Class-A felony. [Read more...]

Carroll, IA – I’d like to give props to Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller for their resourcefulness and ability to think out of the box. I’d like to, but, I can’t. I will, however, give them props for making me laugh so hard I almost tinkled. It’s not every day we get to post a story here at the Dreamin’ Demon that exhibits such a high level of laughable fucktardary. Last Friday evening, police got a call about an attempted break-in. The caller described the suspects as two males with painted faces, both were wearing black hoodies, and it looked like both were armed. The caller reported that the two had just driven off in a large white car. Responding officers spotted a vehicle matching the description of the alleged suspect’s car just a couple of blocks away from the apartment and pulled it over. Just wait till you get a load of their awesome disguises!  [Read more...]

Slidell, LA – Over the last couple of months, I have diligently scoured my new home for any signs of peeper activity. I have investigated and caulked every single hole knee-level and up, I have checked for cameras behind my mirrors, I even went as far as poking my head into the attic for a look-see before nailing the damn thing shut. Why, you ask? Because I have this deep fear of being watched and/or videotaped by some skeevy bastard like Aaron Morphis. On October 7, a 28-year-old woman was showering in her grandmother’s shower when she noticed a gap between the ceiling and the shower vent. And, in that gap, she discovered a couple of beady eyes looking back at her. [Read more...]

Stuart, FL – Grace Calabrese and her husband thought they had a really big raccoon in the attic of their condo – they could hear him up there, scuttling and scurrying around. Opening a closet door to gain access to the attic, GraceGrace reviews discovered they didn’t have a critter at all – they had a creepy, tattooed, loser guy crawling around in there. She had but a glimpse of the interloper as she opened the door – a chair attached to a cord was being lowered to the floor from the attic door in the ceiling. At the other end of the cord, a tattooed arm. The arm retreated back into the ceiling once it’s owner realized that Grace was armed with a knife. [Read more...]

DeLand, FL – Before you blow your top and end up gracing the front page of the Dreamin’ Demon, remember, there are many effective ways of dealing with stress without resorting to violence. Of course, I neither know nor practice any of them, but I have heard of ways others deal with their tension. Some people shop ’til it hurts. Others drink themselves into oblivion – forgetting their own name and the reason for their angst. Some toke it up and pig out on Doritos until their mood improves. And Morbid, well, he masturbates. A. Lot. (Ask him about his carpal tunnel sometime). When Darren Daniels discovered his wife may have *gasp* smoked his last cigarette, he went postal and killed his pet rat. What the hell the rat had to do with anything is beyond me…I guess there wasn’t a toddler lurking anywhere in the vicinity. [Read more...]

Arnold, MO – Just the other day, my 14-year-old daughter and I were talking about boys. While we don’t see eye-to-eye on many aspects of that particular subject, we do agree on one thing – teenage boys are annoying, gross, and they smell funny. (I was trying to get the point across that many boys never get past that stinky gross phase). Why on earth would any grown woman want anything to do with a smelly adolescent that they didn’t have to be around? What is it about teenage boys that some women find so damn attractive? I just don’t get it. Take Christie Bradley, for instance. Her lovely mug is gracing the front page of the Dreamin’ Demon because she wanted to get a little sumpin’ sumpin’ from a 13-year-old boy. While some boys would jump at the chance to bed an older woman, the boy in this instance wasn’t feeling quite so froggy. [Read more...]

Panama City Beach, FL – I know this is going to sound silly, but, have you ever been to a tweaker yard sale? If you haven’t, put that on your list of things to do before you die because it is friggin’ hilarious. See, when tweakers are tweakin’, they like to take shit apart. Though they are up for 2-3 days at a time, with plenty of time to tinker, they never put the shit back together the right way and they just tape it all back together. They quickly get bored with one project and move onto another. I’ve been past many a yard sale where every single item has, at minimum, three strips of duct tape – TV’s, beds, dishes, couches, cribs, stereos, cars – you name it, it’s taped. The set of tweaker parents asshats in this story are very familiar with duct tape – they tried to fix their broken toddler with it. [Read more...]

Orlando, FL – Seems Michael Sesic has a problem keeping his skeevy paws to himself – busted back in 2000  for raping a 4-year-old girl – MichaelMichael reviews is once again in hot water for attempting to get naughty with a 14-year-old girl. This time, though, there was some instant stabby justice. Early Wednesday morning, Michael broke into a home where a former girlfriend of his used to babysit. Investigators believe he entered through a screen door and then picked the lock inside and found the teens room – whether he knew the layout of the home or just lucked out is unknown. The sleeping girl was rudely awakened after the drunken asshole crept into her bed and attempted to get her shorts off. [Read more...]

Waco, TX – Prisscilla Mechell, 25-year-old wife and mother, had everyone believing she was going to squish out a kid any day. Actually, she was supposed to make that happen last Monday morning, after telling her family that she was scheduled to have labor induced. Oh, happiness and joy! One problem. Prisscilla miscarried about 4 months ago. Ut-oh! Her husband, daughter, family, and friends are all expecting to see a shiny new baby and Prisscilla couldn’t very well just conjure up an infant. Or could she? As luck would have it, a friend of hers had just given birth to a bouncing baby boy just a week ago – maybe she could just borrow that one, or something. [Read more...]

Chandler, AZ – It’s been awhile since a story has angered me as much as this one, and I’m afraid it’s gonna stick with me. I fucking hate the vile, revolting, waste of a human being known as Brian Mark Hopf. Just his name on my tongue makes me want to vomit. This putrid steaming pile of excrement wrapped up in human skin was blessed with the ability to help create a life – a life that he basically ended early Monday morning. Authorities say that Brian’s three-week-old daughter suffered not only severe physical abuse, but was possibly sexually assaulted as well. Three. Fucking. Weeks. And it’s not looking like she is going to hit the one-month milestone. The child is hospitalized with multiple injuries, including three skull fractures, fractured ribs, retinal hemorrhaging, brain swelling, four tears to her anus, and irreversible brain damage. Good god. [Read more...]

ST PETERS, MISSOURI - Elizabeth Thrasher gets the embarrasing title of first person charged with felony harassment under Missouri’s “Megan’s Law” (not to be confused with the Megan Kanka law requiring law enforcement authorities to make information available to the public regarding registered sex offenders).  The law was created after the suicide of 13-year-old Megan Meier, a girl who was being bullied over the Internet by other teens and an adult and then committed suicide. A lot of you around here know that I am not a big fan of this law or what happened with Lori Drew, the adult who took on the wrath of the online community for her role, and here is one example why.  [Read more...]

Happy Saturday! We are still looking for writers. We got a ton of requests, but at this point we still have not signed on any people to the team. While we appreciate the enthusiasm of some of you, it really helps more if we could see a little of your work or at the very least, an example. Write something up, whether it is a news story or a review on anything you want and let us see it. If anyone contacted us about this and did not get a response, we apologize as we respond back to everyone – even those of you whose writing sucked worse than ours – but it is possible you slipped through the cracks or in the case of one person, your email provider is blocking emails from us.  So if you are interested in writing for free while selling your soul to Satan, let us know. Now, for some more details…
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