Collier County, FL - I love my job here at the Dreamin’ Demon – if I weren’t actively searching for stories to post, I would totally miss out on some of the hilarity that occurs in the good ‘ole US of A on a daily basis. Here we have Wal-Mart, public nudity, and dirty underwear all in the same story – what more could you possibly ask for? Meet Todd Napodano – he was airing out his junk in a Wal-Mart parking lot Monday afternoon, when a mother and her daughter happened to pass by his Chevy box van while searching for their own vehicle. When he noticed he had an audience, Todd allegedly stood up in the van and started shaking his hips, and the family jewels, in their general direction. Instead of laughing hysterically and pointing, like I would have done, the women called authorities. When officers rolled onto the scene about an hour later, Todd was still there in the back of his van, all nekkid and stuff, and still in plain view of the public. [Read more...]

Clarksville, TN – On October 24th, Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911 – she allegedly called 911, twice, to report that she couldn’t find her car. Hee was given a warning after the first two calls and was arrested after she failed to heed that warning and called twice more. She was booked into the Montgomery County Jail. Now, you think Hee would have learned her lesson from that little stint at the Gray Bar Motel, but nooooo – last Wednesday morning, Hee was pounding those digits again. Her emergency this time? She wanted to report that her boyfriend lied to her about marrying her. Oy vey. Wonder why? Officers responded to the first two calls and explained to the woman that if it wasn’t an emergency, she can’t be dialing 911. A few minutes after the officers left, Hee called 911 again. Officers returned to the home, again, and cited her before giving her yet another warning. And a few minutes after that, Hee called 911 again, but this time wouldn’t say why she called. Fourth time’s a charm I guess – Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911. Bond was set at $250. Now you know this isn’t the first tale of 911 fail told here at the Dreamin’ Demon, don’t ya? More fail here and here. Enjoy! [Read more...]

Sheboygan, WI – Randal Schaal and Kelly Winter weren’t too pleased when they found out their 14-year-old daughter had surreptitiously opened up a MyspaceMySpace account. Not pleased at all. As a matter of fact, they were so pissed off, they spanked that little whippersnapper real good. According to the arrest report, Kelly found the child’s account and confronted her. The child denied the page was hers. No matter – when Randal got home, he checked out the web page and “freaked out.” The girl told officers that Randal held her down on the ground and spanked her real hard about 20 times. When she tried to get away, Randal allegedly kicked the child in the left hip, said something about “making it even” before kicking her in the right hip. The child said her mother then grabbed her by the hair, pushed her head into the wall, and asked, “What’s it feel like to have both your parents beat on you?” Damn. Overreact much? A spanking? At 14? I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Randal may have some issues with anger. [Read more...]

Tigard, OR – It’s a damn good thing most kiddy diddlers are stupid – otherwise, parents and law enforcement would never catch on to their skeevy ways. Take Darrick Haaby, for instance. This shit-fer-brains is accused of e-mailing his friend’s 9-year-old daughter, since early September, asking her if she would have sex with him. One of his first e-mails allegedly read, “Do you promise to have sex with me? Please answer then erase this letter and don’t tell anyone.” The child refused his advances, but obviously didn’t inform her parents because the e-mails continued. At one point, authorities believe Haaby tried to get to the child by using her younger sister. “Your sister will also start going through the same thing you will … when she is ready, I may have her be with me,” he wrote. She kept refusing and he kept typing – digging himself a deeper hole. [Read more...]

Miller County, MO – Meet Aaron Fisher, admitted baby raper. All hot and bothered after watching a porno last Wednesday, this monster decided to work out his sexual frustration on his 5-month-old baby girl. That baby girl is now listed in critical condition at the hospital, suffering from internal bleeding, a fractured skull, and several broken bones. According to court documents, the child showed signs of both physical and sexual abuse. He not only raped the child, he beat the shit out of her. In a statement given to the Miller County Sheriff’s Department on Oct. 29, Aaron described, in detail, exactly what he had done to the child. This guy needs to be lobotomized with a rusty spoon – asap. It is reported that Aaron, along with the mother of the infant and a 2-year-old child, were living in his mother’s home. His mother, however, recently fled the home and the state after Aaron allegedly assaulted her. OMFG. Why is this deranged pile of human excrement still breathing? Aaron Michael Fisher, 21, is being held without bond on two counts of sodomy. The infant and her 2-year-old sibling have been placed in protective custody while the investigation continues. [Read more...]

Fort Worth, TX – People will never cease to amaze me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again – just when I think I’ve seen it all, heard it all, read it all – along comes another story that makes me say, “What. The. Hell.” Last Monday, a 77-year-old woman was roused from her slumber by the sound of her doorbell ringing at about 1:30 a.m. When she got to the door, the person on the other side forced his way in by kicking it in. Once inside, the man grabbed the woman by the arm, forced her into a chair, and proceeded to jack off in front of her. Then the fucker demanded that the woman get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Oh no he didn’t! [Read more...]

Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 SaturdaySaturday reviews morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old MichaelMichael reviews laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. WitnessesWitnesses reviews told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger. wOOt! What. Fucking. Fun. Now Michael Duke is dead and Preston Dohrer is charged with second-degree murder and feloniously pointing a weapon at another person. Bond has been set at $250,000. Great video of Preston “pissing fire” after the jump. I must warn you though, after viewing the video, I seem to have lost 3.5 IQ points. [Read more...]

Morehead, KY – First we had the baby biter and now we have a baby raper. It’s shaping up to be a completely nauseating day here at the Dreamin’ Demon. Again, not a lot of information on this one, and in this case, I’m thankful. Meet Brandon Trent. The skeevy bastard is accused of sodomizing a 3-year-old child. According to police, Trent’s wife was babysitting for the child and left the kid alone with Trent in a car while she visited her mother at the hospital – a visit that took about 30 minutes. Trent took advantage of that time alone with the kiddo and sodomized her – right there in the parking lot. When the child’s mother picked her up later that day, the child “told her mother troubling statements that bothered her and led her to believe that her daughter had been sexually assaulted.” The child was immediately taken to the hospital for an examination. After detectives spoke with the doctors, the child, the child’s mother, and Trent, there was enough probable cause to make an arrest. Brandon Trent now sits in the Rowan County Detention Center charged with sodomy in the first-degree – a Class-A felony. [Read more...]

Chicago, IL – I don’t have a lot of information on this one, but what I do have is enough to make my stomach turn. Zachary Johnson, 20, was pissed off at his girlfriend, and after the two argued last FridayFriday reviews, Zachary showed that girl what a bad-ass motherfucker he really was. He allegedly grabbed the woman’s 3-month-old child out of her hands, locked himself in a room with the infant boy, and proceeded to knock the crap out of the kid. The mother, on the other side of the door, could hear Zachary slapping the child with an open hand. Luckily, she was able to get the door open and retrieve the baby boy before Zachary could beat him to death. Upon admission to the hospital, the child was suffering from five broken ribs, a punctured liver, bruising all over his tiny body, and bite marks. There is no word on the current condition of the child. Way to go tough guy! You can beat up a defenseless infant! You really showed her, didn’t ya? Fuckass. Zachary Johnson is now being held on $1 million bond and facing felony charges of aggravated battery to a child. [Read more...]

Carroll, IA – I’d like to give props to Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller for their resourcefulness and ability to think out of the box. I’d like to, but, I can’t. I will, however, give them props for making me laugh so hard I almost tinkled. It’s not every day we get to post a story here at the Dreamin’ Demon that exhibits such a high level of laughable fucktardary. Last Friday evening, police got a call about an attempted break-in. The caller described the suspects as two males with painted faces, both were wearing black hoodies, and it looked like both were armed. The caller reported that the two had just driven off in a large white car. Responding officers spotted a vehicle matching the description of the alleged suspect’s car just a couple of blocks away from the apartment and pulled it over. Just wait till you get a load of their awesome disguises!  [Read more...]

Kelliher, MN - On October 20th, Betsy Hanks called 911 to report that she returned home to discover her common-law-husband and father to her four children was suffering from a gunshot wound to the head. Matthew Albert, 27, was still breathing but unconscious when officers arrived on scene – he died from the injury two days later. Now, how did that bullet find it’s way into Matthew’s head? Betsy had a story, or three, at the ready.  [Read more...]

Cleveland, OH - Arshon Baker, 5, was born behind bars and his life pretty much went downhill from there. His mother, 24-year-old Angel Glass, was serving a three year stint in prison on a felonious assault charge when she gave birth to Arshon. For five years, she beat the child. When Arshon was admitted to the hospital in full cardiac arrest last FridayFriday reviews, medical personnel noted that the child was covered in cuts, burns, and bruises from his head to the bottom of his feet – some old, some new, some scars suspiciously shaped like an extension cord. For five years that child suffered hell, pain, and tears at the hands of his mother. Well, Angel put a end to all that sufferingThe Suffering reviews and misery. She killed him. [Read more...]

Davie, Florida – In 1997, Luke Petruschke, 38, was facing a couple of sex related charges – he was acquitted. Four years later, he was back in court facing charges of lewd and lascivious molestation – the charges in that case were dropped. LuckyLucky reviews guy, huh? Let’s fast forward to the here and now. Luke spent the night at a friend’s home FridayFriday reviews evening and was preparing to leave SaturdaySaturday reviews morning when the friend’s 3-year-old son informed his parents that Luke had fondled him during the night. It was at that exact moment that Luke’s luck ran the hell out. The child’s father, Manuel Vega, and a neighbor, Krish Carter, got all vigilante-like on the alleged kiddy diddler. [Read more...]

Long Bottom, Ohio Joseph Lemaster, 33-years old, must have decided upon a different approach to bonding with his 16-year-old daughter who visits him (rather visited him) on weekends. Instead of opting for catching a movie, chit-chatting across the kitchen table, or playing board games on the living room floor, Joseph allegedly got drunk and set the evening’s events in motion. According to police reports, his daughter attempted to leave his mobile home in a family car after an argument broke out. Daddy grabbed a .22-caliber rifle, shot her dog, then shot through the vehicle and struck her in the head. [Read more...]