Tampa, FL – What the hell is it with all the fire here on the Dreamin’ Demon lately? It seems like Morbid just posted a story about a cowardly asshole setting fire to his significant other and here we are with yet another one. Demonites, meet Christopher Hanney. Authorities report that on NovemberNovember reviews 17, after the two argued, Hanney allegedly attacked his estranged wife, Audrey Mabrey – first clubbing her in the head with a hammer before dousing her with lighter fluid and lighting a match. WitnessesWitnesses reviews report seeing Audrey run from her home, engulfed in flames, to the safety of a neighbor’s house. Audrey, a 26-year-old mother of two very young children, is now hospitalized in critical condition with burns to over 80% of her body. When police arrived on scene, Hanney, 44, was found in the backyard, suffering from burn wounds as well. He was released from the hospital the following day and taken into custody. Hanney, a former New York police officer, is being held without bail on charges of attempted murder in the first-degree.  [Read more...]

Muncie, IN - Amber Foster, her ex-boyfriend, and a few friends were enjoying a rousing game of Strip Yahtzee (Yahtzee? For real?) last week when Amber found herself in a spot of trouble. I guess the dice just weren’t rolling her way, because Amber ended up butt nekkid. WitnessesWitnesses reviews recall seeing Amber rise from the table and walk into a bedroom with her ex-boyfriend after she lost her clothing. Eventually, Amber’s current boyfriend found out that she had been untrue and confronted her. She cried rape. She told her boyfriend and the authorities that her ex-boyfriend had sexually assaulted her that evening. For five days authorities worked on the case – and I’m sure that during that time span, the ex-boyfriend was sweating and worrying about his future cell mate and the continued integrity of his bung hole. Authorities finally determined that Amber was a big fat liar – the ex-boyfriend was let off the hook and Amber was arrested. The 21-year-old woman now faces a charge of false informing, a misdemeanor that carries a max of 1 year behind bars. Personally, I think she should face the same damn time behind bars her ex-boyfriend would have faced had he been convicted of the crime. That’d teach a bitch not to cheat on her old man and scream rape. And how is it this woman has two living breathing human beings that want to tap that anyway? *shudder* Anyway, what say you, Demonites? Slap her little wrist and write it off as low self-esteem or should she face a harsher penalty? [Read more...]

Marion, IA - Allow me to introduce Kristine Pflughaupt (gesundheit). Ms. Phisoderm Pflughaupt is gracing the pages here at the Dreamin’ Demon for a number of reasons – that awesome last name, her cheerful mugshot, drunken hyjinx, and because she’s a big fan of noodles.  It has been reported that on NovemberNovember reviews 3, a resident on Ms. Farfegnugen Pflughaupt’s mail route called police to complain that she had a strange mail carrier, in uniform and carrying a mail bag, sitting on the floor in her kitchen noshin’ on some left-over noodles. The homeowner, 95-year-old Marie O’Kelly, said she was watching TV in her living room when she heard a noise – she assumed it was her daughter coming for a visit, but grew suspicious when she didn’t receive a greeting from the girl. When she went to investigate the strange noise, she found Ms. Flobbernotten Pflughaupt sitting on the kitchen floor, eating noodles with her bare hands. “The noodles were running down her shirt. I asked her, ‘What are you doing here?’ She didn’t answer – she just kept eating those noodles.” Yum.  [Read more...]

Dunnellon, FL – She took him in four years ago so he wouldn’t have to face the hell that is the foster care system. She loved him, cared for him, put a roof over his head, and fed him. Now, 66-year-old Doris Babcock is dead – the young boy she took under her wing, 19-year-old Zachary Snyder, stands accused of murdering her. Damn. I think a nice ‘Thank You’ card would have been sufficient. Doris’s husband, a long-distance truck driver, called police on SaturdaySaturday reviews and requested a well-being check on his wife when he was unable to get in contact with her. When authorities arrived at the home, they came in contact with Zachary – who, the husband told them, was not supposed to be there. The couple had asked him to leave the home a few weeks earlier after they discovered he had been stealing from them. Zachary, who appeared to have cuts on his hands and Doris’s debit and credit cards in his pockets, told officers that Doris wasn’t home. At that point, Zachary was arrested and charged with theft and probation violation. They later discovered the gruesome truth about Doris’s whereabouts. [Read more...]

Owasso, OK - Police were called to the home of Garold and Sherry McMillian over the weekend after neighbors reported seeing the couple’s two adopted teens standing outside in the cold, wet, drizzle. When the children were found at 11:00 SaturdaySaturday reviews evening,  temps were reported to be in the low 50’s – a 14-year-old girl was found shivering and shoeless, her 15-year-old brother was trying to keep warm and dry in an open air fort in the backyard. Police learned the children were asked to leave the home at about 4:00 that afternoon, when their asstastic parents took their two bio-children out for dinner and a movie. The house was locked up tight and the teen girl told officers that this was a regular occurrence. Officers noted the couple’s pet had access to food, water, and a warm environment, but their non-bio kids were left to soak and starve in the rain for 5-6 hours. Nice. [Read more...]

South Daytona, FL - I meant to get this story up yesterday, but my computer is suffering from a severe case of constipation. So, here I am a day late and always a dollar short. The grizzled old perv staring back at ya today is 56-year-old Ronald Thornton. While visiting his son’s home last SaturdaySaturday reviews evening, Ronald got a hankerin’ for a piece of his granddaughter’s 7-year-old friend. At some point during the visit, Ronald allegedly entered his granddaughter’s bedroom, grabbed her little friend by the wrist, and whisked the child off to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Meanwhile, Ronald’s son, Jason Thornton, became alarmed after he witnessed the child quickly vanish behind the bathroom door. Thinking there was something wrong with the child, Jason knocked on the door and asked the little girl if she was ok. The kid didn’t answer, so he asked again. This time, he heard the voice of his father coming from behind the locked bathroom door. “We’ll be out in a minute,” he said. [Read more...]

Abilene, TX – On her Myspace blog, Laci Wright has this to say about being a mother: “As a mother you learn to put yourself last! The worries the fears! I sit and watch my children and i think to myself that if anybody ever touched one of my children to hurt them that i would do what ever it takes for the person that did it to feel every bit of the pain that my child felt and then some!! You never know how strongly you can love somebody until you become parent!!” I find that statement rather interesting, seeing as how Laci has been arrested and charged with failure to report child abuse. Seems her boyfriend, 31-year-old Daniel Crippen has been arrested as well. His charges are a tad more serious though – he’s being charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child – Laci’s 4-year-old daughter. SickSick reviews fucker. [Read more...]

Denver, CO – This is Mark Matthias. He likes the young stuff. Likes it so much, that he’s willing to pay for it. It is alleged that Mark, for the past 10 months, has been paying a woman an undisclosed amount of cash for the privilege of sexually assaulting her 14-year-old daughter. The girl told authorities that her mother would call different men and tell them that “fresh meat was available.” For a fee, of course. A look at the woman’s cell phone records pretty much backed up the girl’s claims – according to court documents, a review of the records revealed “an extensive contact list.” Mark was but one regular customer – it is unknown, at this point, how many men were forced on that child. The child said her mother would call Mathias and tell him it was time to come over – once there, Mark would talk to her mother for a bit before the assaults took place. The teen’s mother has already been charged with pimping and pandering of a child. Mark Matthias, 48, has been charged with sex assault on a child, soliciting for child prostitution, and sexual assault – pattern of child abuse. [Read more...]

Iowa City, IA - How inebriated must one be to feel that it is kosher to just drop trou’ and discharge a few ass apples in a public venue? I’m guessing one would have to have a B.A.C. somewhere in the vicinity of .24, give or take, and an IQ in that same general area. Demonites, please meet Mr. Robert E. Lee. Mr. Lee here allegedly entered a CVS Pharmacy Friday evening, ambled his way up front, lifted his shirt, dropped his pants, and dumped a load of sphincter spears. Then, without even bothering to wipe or wash, Mr. Lee walked out of the store. Ummm…ew? When the cops caught up with the butt nugget bandit, the slurred speech and aroma of alcohol gave him away. (Not to mention the .24). Mr. Lee, 57, was charged with fifth-degree criminal mischief and public intoxication – both misdemeanors. The store manager who reported the incident told police it would cost less than $200 to clean up the mess. (And a drawing of straws between employees, I’d imagine). All right, Morbid – let’s have one of those asstastic poop stories you are so fond of telling….you know you wanna! [Read more...]

Louisville, KY - Jesus Christ must be a real jerk. I mean, what kind of friend comes over to your house, befouls your environment with second-hand crack smoke, and then just disappears – leaving the crack paraphernalia behind? I gotta admit, I have relatives that would pull that kind of shit, but I never thought JC would stoop that low. I mean, that’s just rude! Poor old Craig Dunn is now taking the rap because of Jesus and his crack pipe. Dunn, a registered sex offender on home incarceration, must have been beside himself when the police showed up to do a home check and discovered a makeshift aluminum foil crack pipe and a burnt spoon. Dunn tried to explain to the boys in blue that the shit wasn’t his, it belonged to Jesus and Jesus was just trying to set him up. I bet you the big guy is up in the sky right about now just laughing it up – his little plan worked! Thanks to Jesus, Craig Dunn, 52, is now back behind bars charged with possession of drug paraphernalia. Betcha he won’t be smoking crack with Jesus again anytime soon. [Read more...]

Carter County, OK - What in the hell is going on in Carter County? While I was researching a story about a woman drugging and raping a 13-year-old boy, I came across another story, from the same county, where a man stands accused of raping a 13-year-old girl. Both arrests were made within a week of each other. So, to kill two pervs with one stone, I’m gonna post ‘em both. First we have 19-year-old Garen Thompson. Garen is accused of raping a 13-year-old girl last Monday. He was arrested and charged after the girl reported the rape to a teacher – now both he and his fantastical hair are being held at Carter County Detention Center on $20,000 bond. Diana Mills, 37, is accused of plying two teen boys, ages 13 and 15, with drugs and alcohol and admits to having sex with the 13-year-old. She told officers that she thought the boy was 16 the first time they had sex, but was well aware of his age the next couple of times she rolled him in the hay. Is believed that she allowed the boys to come to her home where she supplied them with prescription drugs and alcohol. Yes, even she knows one must be FUBAR to hit that. Diana Mills was arrested last Tuesday and is also being held at Carter County Detention center – she’s looking at charges of first-degree rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. As far as I know, bail has not been set. Mugs guaranteed to please after the jump. [Read more...]

Collier County, FL - I love my job here at the Dreamin’ Demon – if I weren’t actively searching for stories to post, I would totally miss out on some of the hilarity that occurs in the good ‘ole US of A on a daily basis. Here we have Wal-Mart, public nudity, and dirty underwear all in the same story – what more could you possibly ask for? Meet Todd Napodano – he was airing out his junk in a Wal-Mart parking lot Monday afternoon, when a mother and her daughter happened to pass by his Chevy box van while searching for their own vehicle. When he noticed he had an audience, Todd allegedly stood up in the van and started shaking his hips, and the family jewels, in their general direction. Instead of laughing hysterically and pointing, like I would have done, the women called authorities. When officers rolled onto the scene about an hour later, Todd was still there in the back of his van, all nekkid and stuff, and still in plain view of the public. [Read more...]

Clarksville, TN – On October 24th, Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911 – she allegedly called 911, twice, to report that she couldn’t find her car. Hee was given a warning after the first two calls and was arrested after she failed to heed that warning and called twice more. She was booked into the Montgomery County Jail. Now, you think Hee would have learned her lesson from that little stint at the Gray Bar Motel, but nooooo – last Wednesday morning, Hee was pounding those digits again. Her emergency this time? She wanted to report that her boyfriend lied to her about marrying her. Oy vey. Wonder why? Officers responded to the first two calls and explained to the woman that if it wasn’t an emergency, she can’t be dialing 911. A few minutes after the officers left, Hee called 911 again. Officers returned to the home, again, and cited her before giving her yet another warning. And a few minutes after that, Hee called 911 again, but this time wouldn’t say why she called. Fourth time’s a charm I guess – Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911. Bond was set at $250. Now you know this isn’t the first tale of 911 fail told here at the Dreamin’ Demon, don’t ya? More fail here and here. Enjoy! [Read more...]

Sheboygan, WI – Randal Schaal and Kelly Winter weren’t too pleased when they found out their 14-year-old daughter had surreptitiously opened up a MyspaceMySpace account. Not pleased at all. As a matter of fact, they were so pissed off, they spanked that little whippersnapper real good. According to the arrest report, Kelly found the child’s account and confronted her. The child denied the page was hers. No matter – when Randal got home, he checked out the web page and “freaked out.” The girl told officers that Randal held her down on the ground and spanked her real hard about 20 times. When she tried to get away, Randal allegedly kicked the child in the left hip, said something about “making it even” before kicking her in the right hip. The child said her mother then grabbed her by the hair, pushed her head into the wall, and asked, “What’s it feel like to have both your parents beat on you?” Damn. Overreact much? A spanking? At 14? I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Randal may have some issues with anger. [Read more...]