Kelliher, MN - On October 20th, Betsy Hanks called 911 to report that she returned home to discover her common-law-husband and father to her four children was suffering from a gunshot wound to the head. Matthew Albert, 27, was still breathing but unconscious when officers arrived on scene – he died from the injury two days later. Now, how did that bullet find it’s way into Matthew’s head? Betsy had a story, or three, at the ready.  [Read more...]

Golden Valley, Minnesota When are these young fathers going to realize that with the release of a little sperm (oh I know, it’s a LOT of it) comes some responsibility if said sperm meets and hooks up with said egg? I thought they taught that shit in grade school. SexSEX = baby. Period. They don’t fill children’s heads with statistics, just warm, pulsating, hard facts. I realize word on the street from peers contradicts what the trained Health teachers preach, but there’s still a chance that roll in the sheets may produce a lot of crying 9 months later. And boys, it will fuck up a good time if you don’t take that seriously. If you make a baby and you tell the momma you love her, you’re good as screwed. Babysitting. The demands those babies place on you really mess with your extra-curricular activities. Just ask Willie. All he was wanting was a quiet baby so he could get his groove on a sex line. Then that kid had to up and die. [Read more...]

Chisago County, MN – It’s not clear when Douglas and Candice Ouellette’s marriage started to fall apart, but by June, Candice had obviously had enough, and filed for a protection order against her husband. On the application, she stated that Douglas had been suffering from depression and suicidal tendencies for quite some time. She wrote that on June 17, he held a gun to his head and told her, “I want you to see this so you remember for the rest of your life.” Candice took the gun from his hand – he whipped out a second one and held it to his head. She called 911 and Douglas was taken to a hospital. She decided to file for the restraining order when she discovered his normally empty guns were loaded – each one with five bullets. The number of bullets equaled the number of members in their little family. Candice filed for divorce on June 29 – Douglas was granted visitation with his children, and access to his shop and outbuildings on the property during the day, but was ordered not to enter the house. He was allowed to call or e-mail his wife once a day. He couldn’t have his guns back until he underwent a psychological evaluation. As of Wednesday night, the marriage is officially over – permanent like. Douglas strangled Candice to death before taking his own life. What’s worse, the kids were home at the time.  [Read more...]

St. Paul, Minnesota Unless you live under a rock with no television, radio, get no newspapers, etc. you’ve heard about the “KingKing reviews of Pop’s” timely demise. (oops, damn typos) The media’s coverage of crying/fainting hoards of people flocking to and fro to get a glimpse of the glitterati browsing for the appropriate clothing to wear, or perhaps the brothers shopping for one white sequined glove to carry his final chariot, has been enough to make me want to break my TV. The talk of a memorial service at the Neverland Ranch brought that 4 syllable location back into the forefront and young children asking their parents, “What’s Neverland?” And if any parents were like Patricia Becht, they tried to give a sense of peace while plotting the murder of their children at that very location. [Read more...]

Minneapolis, MN – Chuck Lindemans hadn’t been seen for weeks and there was a weird smell coming from his home. A concerned neighbor, David Niedzielski, decided that maybe it was time to check up on the guy. He knocked on Chuck’s door and when no one answered, he kicked the door in. Upon entering the home, he noticed that poor Mr. Chuck was dead. Mortified, David immediately called 911 to report his discovery. Oh, wait a sec, this is the Dreamin’ Demon! He didn’t call 911 – since poor Mr. Chuck was laying around all dead and stuff, David decided to take advantage of the situation and relieve the dead guy of some of his worldly belongings. I mean, hell, you can’t take it with ya, right? [Read more...]

Onamia, Minnesota is about 32 miles SW of Brainerd, a name made famous for enough of us sick individuals who happened to enjoy the movie FargoFargo reviews. Onamia has a population of about 850 people and hopefully will be a couple less by the time this story plays out in the courtroom.  The participants are the quintessential features on the Dreamin’ Demon, the kind who fit the prerequisites:  selfish baby abusing motherfuckers with the propensity for criminal stupidity. I’m of course speaking of Lance Ballinger (23) and Kelly Friend, once boyfriend/girlfriend. Right now Lance is in a whole heap of trouble and with crossed fingers, Kelly will soon learn what it’s like when a mother makes shitty decisions regarding her children. [Read more...]

Hastings, Minnesota–I’m not going to waste a bunch of your time with this freak, but because of this particular perversion, the manner in which it was carried out, and the age of his victim, I felt he deserved a few lines of text and a mugshot placement here on the good ‘ol Dreamin’ Demon. James Albert Silbernagel, 41, is a belly button licker. While that, in itself, isn’t particularly strange, the fact that he licked the belly button of an 11-year-old boy is more than just slightly nauseating. [Read more...]

Zumbrota, Minnesota–Nothing ruins a good sleepover like daddy getting sloshed and all touchy-feely with the young ‘ens after the lights go out. I guess that’s one way to guarantee your child never asks for permission to host a slumber party again. Jacob Myran, 25, is being accused of sexually assaulting his daughter’s 8-year-old friend during a sleepover. [Read more...]

Eagan, Minnesota–When you are feeling a bit down, what do you do to bring yourself back up? How do you deal with stress? Personally, I like to daydream…about maiming those who piss me off. That will usually put a smile on my face and the twinkle back in my eyes. Well, that and a quart of pralines-n-cream ice cream. Laura Wilkinson deals with stress and depression wrong…she breaks things. Like, little bitty bones. [Read more...]

FargoFargo reviews, ND- A week ago today, a 25-year old woman who was leaving work was approached by the father of one of her children, 23-year old Shawntas Turnage. He told her, “If you don’t get into my car, I’m going to kill you.” The woman got into his car and Shawntas drove her to the home of his his wife, Aiesha Turnage, where he was given $100 by his wife’s brother. Then they traveled to a home in Lexington. When the woman tried to leave, Shawntas punched her in the face, forced her to strip at knife-point and stabbed her in the left arm and shoulder. Shawntas tied her ankles and wrists behind her back as she lay on her stomach and put a pillowcase over her head. [Read more...]

Minneapolis, MN- RSO Marcus Nelson has difficulty keeping his pecker in his pants. On May 3, he exposed himself to a little girl at the the Mall of America inside the Disney Store and asked her, “Did you see it?”. Later that day, he began masturbating on a mannequin inside Gilly Hicks. [Read more...]

Whitney Kizart

St. Paul, MN- Robert Linnear, 24, and his wife Jennifer, 26, had been having an “off and on” relationship for the past six to seven months. The Linnears had five children, ages 2 to 10, and had been trying to work on their marriage. Apparently, Robert’s finger was touch more married than his penis because he was cheating on Jennifer with a 21-year old woman named Whitney Tanee Kizart. [Read more...]

Nathan James Ellingson

WORTHINGTON, MN — Nathan James Ellingson, 33, is a 6’2”, shy, divorced father who’s looking for someone to share his life with. He is a homebody who does not get out much because of work and hates going home to an empty house. Family means a lot to him as he is very close with his own family. He’s a hard worker who considers himself a simple man and hopes to find a simple woman. Oh, and he also loves kids. It sure sounds like he is a good catch, doesn’t it? [Read more...]

Shane Robert Arrigo (MyspaceMySpace)

Brooklyn Park, MN–From Shane’s About Me section on Myspace: ‘I am 27 year old single dad that is tring to find answers to the questions that cant be answered. If I get an answer it is always the wrong one, so u r better of just wondering.’ What a coincidence ShaneShane reviews, I’m trying to find an answer to a question too. My question is this…‘Hey asshole. What the fuck were you thinking when you tried to rape your 4-year-old daughter?’

[Read more...]