Radnor, Pa - A 19-year-old Pennsylvania man is getting a lesson in what is appropriate from authorities in Pennsylvania after allegedly posting photos of random girls – alongside his post-masturbatory penis – on their Facebook pages. He reportedly told police these actions were ‘no big deal.’ Police disagree.
Neil Geckle, 19, came to the attention of authorities after a gaggle of young females – all members of the Radnor High School network – arrived at police headquarters to complain. Radnor Police Superintendent William Colarulo said that when the girls – three juveniles and one 18-year-old – first came to the station to explain the situation, they were so “hysterical” that he ‘couldn’t understand them at first.’
“I didn’t understand what they were talking about until one of them pulled out a picture,” Colarulo said. “As soon as we saw that, we knew we were dealing with something serious.”
According to investigators, Geckle set up a fake Facebook account. It was reported that Geckle then printed pictures of the girls from Facebook, put the girls’ pictures on a desk in his grandma’s bedroom and – after masturbating to them and ejaculating on them – uploaded a picture of the result including the original photo and his penis to the girls’ pages.…Continue Reading
Issaquah, WA – King County prosecutors are making sure that Samuel K. McDonough, 31, thinks long and hard about the morning of February 2 when he reportedly trapped two terrified female employees inside a BigFoot Java coffee stand using a strategy of blown kisses, masturbation, and attempted forcible entry. He was – in the vernacular of the barista – “discourteous.”
Prosecutors say that at about 8:30 a.m., McDonough purchased a drink from two female employees at the drive-up coffee stand and then asked to use the restroom inside. The women reportedly refused. The women said that – after blowing kisses at them – McDonough began masturbating. Court documents then describe McDonough approaching the door and attempting to gain entry as the ‘terrified’ women hid inside. Not realizing that well-aimed steamed milk is like kryptonite to an exposed penis, the women instead decided to turn to the police for protection.
Issaquah police arrived soon after and arrested McDonough after he was identified by the victims. McDonough reportdly told police that he acted “inappropriately” and he “shouldn’t have done it” – but did not admit to masturbating outside the coffee stand.…Continue Reading
The incident, police say, was captured on surveillance video.
Guards grew suspicious when the man’s Cadillac was spotted on surveillance cameras at about 4:20 a.m. Because the Caddy had been seen on prior occasions, officers zoomed in on it to get a better idea of what was going on inside. It was then, they said, that they discovered the occupant of the vehicle, 47-year-old Terry Doxey, was putting on a one man show for his lady.
When confronted, Doxey denied the accusations. A search of his vehicle, though, provided police with “irrefutable evidence.” Umm, eww?
Police say Doxey’s 27-year-old girlfriend is currently serving a sentence for retail theft. She is scheduled for release in September.
Doxey was booked into jail on charges of aggravated indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. He was released Friday on a $10,000 personal bond.…Continue Reading
TITUSVILLE, FL – Police have arrested a registered sex offender for allegedly exposing himself to a couple of kids in the toy aisle of a Florida Walmart.
Police say that 28-year-old Robert Walyus was in a Titusville Walmart last Saturday when he approached two children in the toy aisle and asked if he could touch them while his dick was hanging out of his pants.
One of the victims ran off and told her mother what happened and that she “saw his thing.” The mom witnessed Walyus adjusting his pants when she turned around and looked at him. Waylus managed to get out of the store before authorities arrived, but after using images from surveillance video, Waylus was soon identified and arrested at his home.
He was charged with with lewd or lascivious exposure to a child under 16 years old and is currently being held on a $125,000 bond. He may be facing more charges as detectives were able to link him to a similar incident at Titusville Publix last October.…Continue Reading
According to police, last month Johnson went into the Exscape smoke shop at about 11AM, exposed himself and began masturbating. Police spokesman, Officer James Miller said Johnson then asked a female customer – who we will refer to as Bad Samaritan #1 – if she could “help him out.” Bad Samaritan #1, confronted with the exposed
johnson Johnson, declined.
According to Miller, earlier this month, Johnson entered a nearby flower shop and pulled the exact same stunt. In that incident, Bad Samaritan #2 also declined.
Johnson was charged with four counts of public lewdness, a Class B misdemeanor. Each charge carries a maximum penalty of three months in jail. Johnson was also charged with one count of grand larceny for allegedly stealing $2,600 worth of lottery tickets while he worked as a clerk at a gas station.
Police are concerned that Johnson may have been exposed elsewhere. …Continue Reading
Salem, OR - Marion County, Oregon Sheriff’s were recently pressed into action after 911 callers reported a naked man engage in roadside masturbation. Deputies searching the area found footprints and a cellphone. …but no masturbator. After more time – and more 911 calls – a K9 unit was dispatched to scene.
It was reported that Deputy Jeff Stutrud and his dog, Renzo, conducted a search of the hazelnut orchard where the perpetrator was last reportedly seen. Renzo located the the man ‘about 12 feet up a tree wearing only tennis shoes,’ sheriff’s spokesman Don Thomson said.
Due to the 30-degree weather, Stephen James Frolov, 28 – who also goes by the name Stephen James Ellingsworth – was first given a blanket. He was then given formal charges of three counts of public indecency. Bail was set at $15,000
Investigators said that Frolov told them that he had been out drinking with friends the night before and didn’t know how he got to Duck Inn Road. Frolov also said that he didn’t know where his clothes were.…Continue Reading
Schaumburg, IL – A couple of teachers are in the news today, starting with a math teacher at a Christian school who just got busted jacking off behind his desk in front of a classroom full of students.
Police say 75-year-old Paul LaDuke, a teacher at Schaumburg Christian School for over 10 years, was seated behind his podium when he lowered his pants and began masturbating. Another student noticed what he was doing and told another teacher. Since this is not a public school, LaDuke was fired that same day and police were contacted.
On Monday, after investigators interviewed several students, LaDuke was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child. Police believe LaDuke has been doing this several times a year for a decade. Police also said there is no evidence that any students were inappropriately touched or physically harmed.
Maybe it’s because of all the weird shit we post, the only things about this story that surprised me was that LaDuke was capable of an erection and that he chose to lower his pants to take care of it.…Continue Reading
Kennet, Missouri – Police have arrested a man after witnesses say he drove up to Sonic Drive-in, got out of his car completely nekkid and began jacking-off in front of several people, including children.
Police were called but the derpy ham baster, later identified as 45-year-old Keith O. Smith, had already left the scene before they got there. He was found a little while later after his 2010 Ford Mustang was spotted by police.
Smith was charged with 1st degree sexual misconduct and two counts of 2nd degree sexual misconduct. He is currently in jail on a $12,000 cash-only bond.
I think I’ve been writing these stories too long as the only thing that surprised me in this one was that a Sonic Drive-in had customers. Their food is practically inedible.…Continue Reading
Cambridge, MA — Joseph P. Macdonald, 32, was arrested last week after his attempts to organize an impromptu block party were spurned by his unimaginative neighbors. …and we wonder why America lacks a “sense of community.”
The evening of October 3 began innocently enough when MacDonald reportedly came out of the isolation of his apartment to urinate on the front steps of the building. At his point, you might expect that his neighbors would inquire as to how the urinating was going or even join in – as that would be the polite thing. But, no. Completely out of the blue, some of his neighbors reportedly yelled at him to stop.
After a verbal exchange that we will simply describe as “unpleasant,” Macdonald reportedly returned to his apartment.
Not to be discouraged and clearly clinging to the notion that the concept of the neighborhood is not dead, Macdonald reportedly returned to the street. This time – while wearing only a T-shirt and peach-colored lace panties – police said Macdonald began masturbating in the middle of the street and calling out to the other residents to ‘come outside and join him.’ Ungrateful, neighbors called police.…Continue Reading
Adrian, MI — Nine months ago, the city manager of Hudson, Michigan, was charged with a misdemeanor after a female in another vehicle reported that he was fondling himself while driving in a city-owned vehicle. That man is 50-year-old Steven Hartsel.
According to an Adrian Police Department report filed at the time of the incident, the woman was in a City of Tecumseh truck that was on the roadway alongside a minivan driven by Hartsel. The witness, Sue Sellers, said in court testimony last week that she stopped for a red light on South Main Street at Beecher Street and happened to glance from her pickup into a van stopped in the lane on her right.
“I couldn’t believe what I saw. I looked over and I saw a man with his penis in his hand,” she testified. She glanced over at least five times, she said in court, going from feelings of shock to anger. Sue Sellers told the jury she had no doubt about what she saw.
“I could have been driving a bus full of kids,” added Sellers in court testimony.…Continue Reading
Sarasota County, FL — A Comcast cable installer was booked on exposure charges Tuesday night after a female customer accused him of jerkin’ his gherkin’ in her living room late last month when he was supposed to be hooking her sh*t up.
According to the 24-year-old victim, Shane Wheatley arrived at her home on July 31 to hook her up with cable and internet. At some point during the installation, Wheatley reportedly began touching himself through his shorts. The woman told police she looked away, but when she looked back, he was fully exposed. She said he then began masturbating while staring and smiling at her. Out the door she went.
Wheatley denied the accusations and requested a polygraph to clear his name. But based on the results of the investigation, the sheriff’s office believed they had probable cause to arrest Wheatley for the alleged fappage. He’s been charged with exposure of sexual organs.
Huh…I feel a little cheated. All I ever got was a free month of Starz.
El Segundo, Calif. — A California pedophile is probably sweating bullets at the moment after being caught masturbating while watching a toddler playing in a kiddie pool at an apartment complex.
On Saturday, a woman used her cellphone to get a picture the man as he jacked-off while watching the toddler through a hole in a fence.
He’s described as a Caucasian man in his 30s, medium build, with short brown hair and wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans.
Police would really, really like to talk with this idiot, so if you have any information on him, contact the El Segundo Police Department at (310) 524-2284.…Continue Reading
Chilliwack – As you can imagine, we get a lot of spam. So when I saw someone had used our Contact Form with the subject “jacking off to me” I figured someone had gotten through our spam filter. Since I am a sucker for a “jacking off to me” subject line, I checked it out.
Surprisingly, it was actually from one of our Canadian fans. They told a quick story about waking up to find a man standing in her room jacking off while staring at her. When she inquired as to why he was masturbating while watching her sleep, he replied that he wanted to “cum on her face” before leaving out the back door.
At first I thought this person was just coming on to me with some sleepy-time facial erotica, but a day or so later she responded back with an actual news article of the incident. Since we love our fans, and Canadians, we felt it was our duty to post about them almost having a stranger cum on her face while she slept.…Continue Reading
Cheadle, UK - Nicholas Read, 40, who had been convicted of indecent exposure last month, was given a 20-week jail term as punishment. It was then suspended by the UK court official who stated that jail ‘would not help him.’
Read is an actor who, up until this incident, was best known for his work in the Harry Potter and Star Wars films – having played both a Gringotts goblin and an Ewok warrior. The life of an Ewok warrior is understandably hard. Sadly, this Ewok warrior’s fall from grace was evident by his conviction for mastubating under a bowler hat while traveling on a UK passenger train last October.
On that fateful day, Read was reportedly traveling between London and Leicester by train. Court documents say that Read seated himself in an aisle seat next to a teenage girl at the window. Read was convicted for covering his lap with his bowler hat and stroking his mini-mini-me for “30 to 40 minutes” while effectively “trapping” his victim.
Inspector Mark Clements of British Transport Police said, “Read’s actions were deplorable. …Continue Reading
Ukiah, CA - Clarence Christmas, 39, was arrested after police reportedly found him in the corner of a Curves Fitness Center, nude from the waist down, and masturbating.
Police were responding to a call from a Curves employee expressing how much they had not liked Christmas showing up unannounced and fapping his junk for all to see.
The Curves employee had originally told Christmas to leave or she would call police, but instead he grabbed her by the shoulder, police said. According to police, Christmas ‘grabbed her buttocks’ when she turned away to get a phone to call police. He also is accused of touching a Curves patron while masturbating, police said.
You may be surprised to learn that this is not Chistimas’ first offense. Christmas had been arrested in May 2010 when he was found without pants or underwear masturbating while watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks in Ukiah, police said.
For that incident, he was arrested for indecent exposure, possession of a methamphetamine smoking pipe and parole violation. …Continue Reading
Indianapolis, IN — A man caught fappin’ in the ladies’ room at an Indianapolis WalMart reportedly told store security he “had a sex problem” and went into the bathroom “to look at the women” while masturbating.
20-year-old Brandon Jelks was busted after a woman visiting the facility told a store employee she believed there was a man in one of the stalls. The employee then peered under one of the stall doors and spotted a pair of blue patterned boxers around the ankles of what appeared to be a man’s shoes. In addition, the woman reported hearing some moaning noises and the sound of someone masturbating. She asked another associate to confirm that the sounds were, indeed, fappish in nature. The second associate confirmed the first associate’s suspicions and alerted store security.
Enter store security…an off-duty police officer. She, too, heard the moanin’ and fappin’ and noticed the boxer laden ankles behind the stall door. She peeked through a crack in the door and could see a male sitting on the toilet, but couldn’t tell exactly what said male was up to in there.…Continue Reading
Bronx, NY — A Bronx man has found himself in a sticky situation after DNA he submitted for a drug-related arrest came back matching that of a serial subway spanker.
The aptly-named Darnell Hardware, 26, was arrested in June of last year on drug charges and submitted a DNA sample. When it was checked against the state’s data base, it matched samples taken from three separate incidents, dating back almost ten years, in which a man painted female subway passengers with his cock-puke. The victims, ranging in age from 17-24 (at the times of the incidents) had come forward with the leftovers, saying that a man had rubbed up against them, masturbated and ejaculated on them… all three on packed subway cars where they say they couldn’t escape.
I would like to take this opportunity to call bullshit on every subway passenger in New York who stands idly by while some creep shoots jizz all over a poor young girl. If there were more stories that matched the word ‘vigilante’, I could stop googling ‘semen’ and ‘assault’.…Continue Reading
On April 10, police responded to the complex after receiving a report of a man masturbating outside of a woman’s apartment window. The man fled before police arrived and the woman was unable to provide a decent description of the alleged wanker because he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt at the time.
Officers returned to the complex earlier this month after receiving yet another report of the pervy peeper. Police say the woman in that instance was so traumatized by the event that she trembled and shook as she spoke with them.
And just this week, police were summoned to the apartment once again. This time, though, they caught the johnson juggler red-handed….
Anthony Johnson was spotted by officers as he was peering into a woman’s window late Wednesday night. He tried to beat a hasty retreat, but surrendered when he realized he was surrounded by Oregon City’s finest.…Continue Reading
Denver, CO – Kyle Pearce was featured on the front page of D’D for his being detained and subsequently convicted of pleasuring himself while on a flight from Spokane to Denver ‘to the point of ejaculation.’ Pearce pleaded guilty to federal indecency charges leading to a short stint in jail and release to a halfway house. Due to his antics, though, Pearce has reportedly been kicked out of the halfway house and it looks like he is headed back to jail.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle…
Garret Pfalmer, a federal probation officer in Denver, filed paperwork describing complaints from from the Independence House halfway house where Pearce had been assigned. The U.S. Attorney’s Office has responded by asking that the court revoke Pearce’s probation and send him back to jail.
Pearce’s antics reportedly include leaving without permission, getting into “physical altercations” with other residents, “associating with female residents,” and “abusing his medications” or “providing them to other residents.” He was also caught apparently trying to convince a hospital that he was prescribed narcotics as well as “attempting to steal needles, syringes, and alcohol pads from a supply cart.”
Pearce seems intent on ignoring societal rules or norms.…Continue Reading
San Diego, CA — For days, drivers on one San Diego roadway have been subjected to the presence of a sometimes naked and sometimes masturbating man. Police, convinced that commuters were not driving in a provocative manner, issued a warning about the man with a description. He was described as a white man, between 16-24 years old, 5′ 9″, medium to thin weight, with brown shoulder length possibly bushy hair.
Authorities followed up quickly with a stakeout. That stakeout proved fruitful when, only one day later, undercover detectives saw 19-year-old Kevin Garrison take off his clothes on an embankment overlooking Del Mar Heights Boulevard.
“As they went to contact him, a foot pursuit ensued. He ran onto Ginger Glen. The officers lost sight of him. We set up a perimeter and did a yard to yard search,” said Lt. Todd Jarvis.
The search included many officers on foot interviewing neighbors and securing yards while a police helicopter was flying and observing from overhead. Police then got a break when it was discovered that Garrison cut himself during the foot chase.…Continue Reading