Hyannis, MA – Most people have a vision for their marriage and honeymoon. They spend months upon months planning for the big day. They have flowers, photographers, and a long flowing train. After the nuptials, they are whisked away in a limousine to the Bahamas for a week of sun, sex, and crappy daiquiris with the little umbrellas sticking out of them. Well, a young lady by the name of Ann Putignano-Keene had the same idea, but she put her own white trash spin on it. It seems after the big wedding at town hall, the 22 year old and her new 37 year old husband, Timothy Keene, decided to split a bottle of the finest bubbly they could find. (My sources tell me that Tito’s Booze N Go was out of Mad Dog 20/20). After getting crunk up celebrating their new marriage, it was off on their honeymoon. Bahamas? Caribbean? Ooooooh, how about Tahiti? Nope. How about – to the parking lot to run over her new hubby’s old hookup. [Read more...]

NEWBURYPORT, Mass. - More cyber-bullying shenanigans, this time from Newburyport High School in Massachusetts. Three students have been accused of creating a fake FacebookFacebook page using another student’s name and picture. They would then use that account to make disparaging remarks about other students in the school. The victim had no idea anything was amiss until he began to get taunted over the remarks he was unaware that he had even made. I guess they want to put out a strong message on this type of behavior, so police charged the trio with identity theft. Two of the kids are co-operating, but one of student’s parents have hired a lawyer. “What the young people need to understand at this point is that anything you say on Facebook or on the Internet, there’s no way to get it back. Why you may think that you’re behind the scenes, and nobody is going to find you, in fact, they are going to find you, and there’s repercussions for your actions,” said Chief Thomas Howard of the Newburyport Police Department.

Milford, MA – Nehemiah Gonzalez, 18, is in an ass-load of trouble after admitting to authorities that he forced a 5-year-old boy in his care to perform oral sex on him. Nehemiah, the child’s babysitter, is looking at 10 to life if convicted on the charge of rape by force. The victim in the case told investigators that Nehemiah forced him to touch his genitals and then perform oral sex. “I told him it was yucky but he said no, it’s not yucky,” the boy said. Authorities refuse to divulge how long the abuse lasted. After admitting to the abuse, Nehemiah was booked on charges of rape, indecent assault and battery on a child under age 12. Bail has been set at $50,000 cash only. If he does make bail, he will be placed on house arrest and fitted with GPS. He will be ordered to steer clear of the alleged victim and any other child under the age of 16. And he won’t be updating his MyspaceMySpace either – no computer access allowed.

Framingham, MA – Chamil Guadarrama popped into the Eastfield Mall Bath and Body Works Wednesday evening to do a little shopping. On his shopping list? Lotion. And LOTS of it. And by LOTS, I mean about 75 bottles. And he was determined to get that stuff at a discount. A five-finger-discount. A store clerk alerted mall security after spotting Chamil slipping the 8-ounce glass bottles of lotion through his zipper and into his pants. The inventive little scamp had tied string around the legs of his pants to keep all the lotion in. Genius! When Chamil spotted the mall cops and realized they were on to him, the chase was on! Unfortunately for Chamil, the sheer bulk of the lotion bottles made it damn near impossible to run, so the chase didn’t last long. Once he was apprehended and turned over to the police, Chamil had another problem – his pants were so full he couldn’t bend over to get in the patrol car until some of the lotion was removed. Also, due to his brisk, yet complicated, jog through the mall, his legs were extremely chafed. Chamil, 30, pleaded innocent at his district court arraignment and was released on his own recognizance. The value of the pilfered lotion was a hefty $787.50. On another note, Chamil’s mugshot also appears on the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Website – he’s a Level 3 offender. [Read more...]

MASS – Phoebe Prince was a young girl who emigrated from Ireland to AmericaAmerica reviews last fall. Months later, on Jan 14th, the 15 year old was found dead after she had hung herself in her Massachusetts home. Only after this gruesome death has the truth about how she was treated as a high school freshmen begin to come out. On a FacebookFacebook page made in her honor, her family was surprised to see rude and even taunting comments posted about her. Classmates also started to admit that Phoebe was being harassed  and “bullied constantly” via text messages and Facebook posts.  The school admits they were aware, to an extent, that Phoebe was having problems; in a letter to the parents, the South Hadley High principle wrote “These disagreements centered on relationship and dating issues. School personnel immediately intervened . . . and both counseled and provided consequences as the situations required. It is what happened after those incidents were over that is cause for significant concern.’’ Perhaps Phoebe’s sad suicide and the attention it’s getting can prevent other teens from the same fate – but are schools prepared to deal with cyber bullying? Is it even within the scope of their responsibility?

Springfield, MA - Police and paramedics were called to the Clarion Hotel Sunday morning to provide medical assistance to a child in need – information on what exactly was wrong with the child isn’t being released. The 6-week-old baby was taken to Baystate Medical Center where he was pronounced dead. An autopsy is planned for later today. The child’s mother, Erica Luce, (MyspaceMySpace) claims that she woke up at about 3:00 a.m. SundaySunday reviews morning with a “bad feeling.” According to her, that’s when she found her infant son, Ethan, naked on the floor, covered in cold water, lying next to an air conditioner that was turned on full blast. And how did he end up in that predicament? Erica believes that someone broke into her room earlier that morning, while she was visiting with a friend in an adjacent room, and murdered her son. Wait….what? According to Erica, she left Ethan and his 3-year-old sibling alone in the room after they had fallen asleep at about 12:30. She popped over to her friend’s room for a chat and claims that she checked on the children every 15 minutes until she fell asleep. Did she fall asleep in her own room or the room next door? Your guess is as good as mine. She also mentioned that the 3-year-old child was sitting up awake in bed when she found Ethan on the floor. I have a feeling there is some vital information being left out of Erica’s account. No arrests have been made as of yet and police are neither confirming nor denying Erica’s story. Videovideo after the jump. [Read more...]

Chelsea, MA – As many of you know, we have quite the collection of “animal lovers” gracing our kick-ass website. Male and female. Oral and otherwise. We have stories of dog lovers and horse lovers aplenty. Oh, and let’s not forget Bryan James Hathaway, the opportunist who took advantage of a dead deer laying in a ditch. But, I gotta say, never, not in a bajillion years, did I think I would be writing a story about some fucktard facing prison time because he loved a bunny. Last Friday, Abel Aguirre, 38, was convicted on charges of animal cruelty for porkin’ his roommate’s rabbit. On June 1st of ‘08, Abel’s roommate came home to a very disturbing scene – in the bathroom, she found blood and clumps of rabbit fur. A bloody claw that used to be attached to her pet rabbit was among the icky mess on the bathroom floor and the bunny itself was injured and bleeding. Upon further investigation, the woman discovered a used condom, covered in rabbit fur, in Abel’s bedroom. One thing led to another and Abel is now looking at two years in prison and a $2,500 fine at sentencing. The rabbit later died, but not from injuries related to the rape. [Read more...]

BROOKLINE, Mass. – I swear to God this is not me. I don’t live anywhere near Massachusetts. Two young girls were walking home from Lincoln School sometime after 2 p.m. Thursday when a man drove up asking for directions. He was not wearing pants. Police said the man did not expose himself to the girls or say anything suggestive, but they don’t want to take any chances and have alerted parents in the area – especially since the street he wanted directions to did not exist. The driver is described as a man in his late 20s or early 30s, with curly brown hair (snicker). Anyone with information is asked to call Brookline police at 617-730-2222. I never get these people who expose themselves in public like this. Anyone ever have any experiences with someone flashing their junk at you? [Read more...]

TAUNTON, Massachusetts – Here’s a story making the rounds that has me a bit riled up. Two weeks ago, a Maxham Elementary School teacher found an eighth-grade special needs student drawing a picture of someone being crucified on a cross with X’s for eyes. Following standard school protocol, the student’s records were reviewed, and after discussions with staff and central administration it was deemed that the student complete a psychological evaluation before being allowed back to school. Now some may see this as a grossly overkill knee-jerk reaction, but in this day and age of school violence and shootings, these facilities can take no precautions or possibly suffer circumstances that may even have the school being held liable if it is found to have had signs of disturbing behavior from a student, who later shoots up the cafeteria, but did nothing about it. But this story has now made the news because it has turned religious in nature and Christians everywhere are being riled up into a teeth-gnashing furor after a headline read BOY SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL FOR DRAWING JESUS. [Read more...]

Fall River, MA – On Tuesday afternoon, an employee at a sailing shop glanced out the window and noticed a guy parked outside, the trunk of his ‘98 Grand Am open, with two small kids in the trunk and “he’s changing their clothes.” The witness told police he thought it was “kind of odd” that the children were naked and being changed in the trunk of a vehicle on such a wet, drizzly, day. A short time later the man, 35-year-old Michael Monahan, walked into the store -  sans kiddos. When the witness asked him where the kids were, Monahan told him that he had left the kids in the car. The witness walked outside to take a peek inside the car windows, but didn’t see the kids. After the witness repeatedly questioned Monahan about the kids whereabouts, Monahan produced a set of keys, opened up the trunk, and voilá! There they were! One of the tots, age 3, was asleep and the other one, age 6, was crying. At that point, the witness told Monahan that he was calling the police, and after a short but heated discussion, Monahan removed the boys from the trunk, placed them in the car, and fled the scene. Monahan, who was tracked down by his license plate number, later told police that the boys liked to play in the trunk. He was arrested, charged with two counts of reckless endangerment and two counts of assault – he was released on bail later that same day and ordered to stay away from his children. The boys were handed over to their mother. [Read more...]

Boston, Massachusetts It’s all fun and games until someone loses and eye. It reminds me of a scene from an old cult classic “Where The Buffalo RoamWhere the Buffalo Roam reviews“, a movie written as a loose depiction of Hunter S. Thompson’s rise to fame as an author. In the movie, Thompson and his “attorney” Lazlo are in some undisclosed Latin American country and there’s some illegal arms trading occurring when one idiot picks up an automatic weapon and looses complete control shooting up the place. When the shooting frenzy has ended and the dust settles, his associate is fighting holding back his laughter when the maniac who can’t handle a gun beats him to the ground. And as soon as he is grounded, his buddy starts smothering him with affection and aid, truly remorseful for his actions. He almost sounds like Rhys Williams, and EMT, who shot up a couple of dudes and then administered help. [Read more...]

Quincy, Massachusetts – “City of Legends”and “Birthplace of the American Dream” are just a couple examples of nicknames for this historic community in the Southeastern part of the state. The city is divided up into many different established neighborhoods with individual histories and characteristics. Scrolling through the names and descriptions of these sections, one clearly gets a great sense of pride and community spirit. No where could I find the area that might house the uber rich or the extremely impoverished. I’m pretty sure they’re not closely mixed though. Where do the really twisted fuckers live in Quincy and what do they do to get their jollies off in such a stodgy town? The closest I could come to answering that question was the story of Joseph Beatty and his little experiment with necrophilia. [Read more...]

Southbridge, MA- Or more like his parents should have used one. Alex Santana, 18, is a selfish prick who doesn’t want to man up and take responsibility for his actions. Santana had been fighting with his 28-year old girlfriend, Leah Diver, for the past several weeks over the fact that she was pregnant with his child and he wanted her to have an abortion. Driver adamantly refused to have the baby aborted, so Santana went over to her residence last FridayFriday reviews and decided to abort the bastard himself. Once he was at the apartment, Santana argued with Diver even more and told her “she was going to abort the baby one way or the other.” [Read more...]

Worcester, MA – Darlene Haynes, 8-months pregnant and a mother of three, has been reduced to little more than a memory and a foul odor. After she hadn’t been seen in more than three days, and after neighbors began to notice a fetid smell emanating from the direction of her home, her landlord entered her apartment to investigate. Monday afternoon, he found her body wrapped in bedding and stuffed into a closet. The remains had already began to decompose – the body was so badly mangled that authorities had difficulty even identifying her gender at the scene. Once the body was on the autopsy table, the ME made a shocking discovery – Darlene’s fetus was missing. It had been physically removed from her body. As in, cut the hell out. The question now is, where the hell is the fetus? [Read more...]