Gratitude – You’re Doing It Wrong

Louisville, KY – Don’t you just hate it when, out of the kindness of your heart, you get all hospitable and friendly and open your home to a down-on-his-luck kind of friend, only to end up getting royally screwed? You allow the guy to live under your roof, eat your food, use your toilet, and watch your tv and the fucker ends up raping your girlfriend while your at work. How’s that for gratitude? Such is the case with one of Gary Elmore’s kindhearted friends. Worried that Gary, who is reportedly homeless, would get harassed by the police for wandering around town, this friend invited Gary into his home Monday evening. Come Tuesday morning, when the unnamed friend left for work, Gary allegedly slipped into his bed and started doing the nasty with the girlfriend. The sleeping girlfriend, perhaps thinking her man wanted some morning glory, assumed it was her boyfriend pokin’ on her. It might have went something like this – Mmmm, oh yeah. Whoa! Wait a minute! What the… How the… Who the… You asshole! Get outta there! When she realized it wasn’t her beloved, she put up a fight and chased the ungrateful homeless bastid outta the house with her cane and called 911. He was picked up a few blocks away from the home a short time later. During questioning, he admitted to being a sneaky, skeevy, rapist. Gary Elmore, 39, has been charged with first-degree rape and bond was set at $25,000 cash. Yep – being an anti-social hermit suits me just fine. [Read more...]

Cecil Bryant Beat Her With A Bedpost

Louisville, KY- Reeking of alcohol with slurred speech, the trollish looking Cecil Bryant now faces several charges including first-degree assault, disorderly conduct, menacing and public intoxication. Police responded to a report last SaturdaySaturday reviews morning of a woman who was beaten and bloody. Police found 53-year old Elsie Rollins with a bleeding head wound and she told the officers that Bryant, 75, had attacked her with a bedpost. Bryant, who’s eyes were as unsteady as his feet, was hollering at the neighbors and even pushed a bystander. When the officers told Bryant to sit his crazy ass down, he began screaming at them. Once inside the apartment, police noticed blood-spattered walls and found the bloody bedpost. Silly me. Here all this time I thought troll dolls brought you good luck.

Edward Dewey Likes To Rape Little Kids

Louisville, KY – Edward Dewey, 46, likes to kick back and get a little high.  He likes to sexually assault toddlers on camera, too.  And he also likes to watch his homemade kiddie porn in the apartment he shares with his mother.   So when police showed up at the apartment to serve a drug search warrant on Tuesday, they caught Dewey in the act of viewing a whole different kind of children’s programming. Go figure, huh? [Read more...]