Louellyn Lambros’ Apple Fell Pretty Close To The Tree

SCITUATE, Mass – A woman brings a 16-year-old boy to the South Shore Hospital emergency room. He is suffering from a gunshot to the leg. Hospital officials contact the Weymouth police and the woman, 55-year-old Louellyn Lambros, tells them that the 16-year-old and her son were at her home when they heard noises in the backyard. When they all went to investigate, an intruder shot the teen in the leg through an open window. Police begin their investigation, and quickly realize that the story was bullshit. The true story, it turns out, just doesn’t get any dumber. It involves a stolen gun, a botched game of Russian Roulette, and a mother as retarded as her son. [Read more...]