Miami, FL – According to police, an unidentified homeowner heard his dog making a racket at about 5:00 Wednesday morning. He walked outside to find a naked man choking the shit out of his Rottweiler on his front porch.
That nekkid man was later identified as 20-year-old Jeffery Delice.
The homeowner confronted Delice and attempted to free his dog. At that point, police say, Delice attacked, biting and choking the homeowner.
Fearing for his life, the homeowner fired his gun twice, hitting the nekkid intruder once. In the foot.
When that failed to keep the crazed man down, the homeowner shot again. Unfortunately, the gun jammed. He did, however, manage to pin the crazy nekkid dude down while family members called for help.
When police arrived, the hungry little fucker tried to bite them, too.
Delice was transported to the hospital for the gunshot wound and is expected to make a full recovery. No word on whether drugs or alcohol were involved. *coughbathsaltscough*
He’s been charged with, among other things, assault, resisting arrest with violence, lewd and lascivious behavior and animal cruelty.…Continue Reading
Prairie du Sac, WI — Carl W. Lemm Jr., 56, was jailed after reportedly being found sitting nude on his neighbor’s enclosed patio. According to the criminal complaint for the case, the woman told a Sauk Prairie police officer that on Sept. 11 at about 1:30 a.m. she went to let her dogs out onto her patio. When she turned on a light, she discovered Lemm sitting naked in one of her chairs.
Lemm reportedly told the neighbor he had been thinking about her, that he had been watching her on a previous night, and had seen her ‘wearing pink bikini underwear as she walked around the house.’
Temptress! What can you expect when wearing pink bikini underwear in rural Wisconsin?!
The woman also told the officer that Lemm knew what she had been watching on television in her second-floor bedroom. The woman took the opportunity to report to the officer that – several weeks before the patio incident – she saw Lemm walking in front of her house naked.…Continue Reading
The boy’s father apparently saw a shadow lurking outside just before 4:00 p.m. on Saturday, and when he opened the blinds, he was unfortunate enough to lay eyes upon a mostly nekkid Randell Wilken. I say mostly nekkid because he was wearing brown flip-flops and eyeglasses. How’d you like to have that image seared into your brain, Demonites?
Dad reportedly tore out of the house and attempted to chase the nude man down, but lost sight of him. With the assistance of a K-9 tracking dog named Rudy, police found their suspect lying behind a car in a nearby driveway. Wilken told police he removed his clothing – a white t-shirt and plaid long johns - behind a newspaper stand across the street from the apartments where the child lived.
Wilken, 56, was was taken into custody and now faces charges of lewd and lascivious behavior with a child under 16, voyeurism, loitering, prowling by a sex offender and exposure of sexual organs.…Continue Reading
Hernando, FL — Police say 39-year-old Cassidy McWaters showed up at the Hernando County Jail on Monday and told deputies he has been molesting an 11-year-old girl since she was 6. He admitted to authorities that he began rubbing the girl’s genitals five years ago and that he had done it frequently over the years, usually over her clothing as she slept. That act of depravity eventually led to digital penetration. Last Thursday, the girl woke up in the middle of a diddlin’ and threatened to tell her mother. Though McWaters begged and pleaded, the girl didn’t budge – that’s when he decided to turn himself in. He said he was infatuated with the child and had she not woken up, he would have “taken it to the next level.” He was promptly arrested and is being held without bond on one count each of sexual battery and lewd and lascivious behavior toward a child. And as for the girl’s mother, McWaters told police he usually did his diddlin’ in the mornings when mom was asleep.…Continue Reading
Sheboygan, WI- Here’s another persistent pervert who cannot seem to keep his wanker under wraps. In 1997, David C. Meyer was convicted of four misdemeanor counts of exposing his genitals to a child. Then in August 2007, he repeatedly drove past two 12-year-old girls he was attracted to. Meyer was sentenced to 90 days in jail for the stalking offense, but was allowed to serve the time on electronic monitoring in order to get in-patient mental health treatment. That sentence ended on August 3 and wouldn’t you know it…Meyer has once again been arrested for placing his penis on display.…Continue Reading
Orlando, FL- About 2 weeks ago, a mother at the Enclave Suites Hotel noticed 41-year old David Shapiro was acting odd near the hotel’s pool area. Shapiro had stripped down to his underwear, covered his face with his shirt and performed a lewd act in front of other people at the pool. The mother took pictures of Shapiro’s performance, as well as his license plate, and forwarded all of her photos to the police. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office began surveillance of Shapiro and learned what a busy boy this talented tally-whacker was.…Continue Reading
…so was John Silvia’s ass.
Bradenton, FL–I must live in the most boring little town in the world. Nothing ever happens here. I have yet to get my ass bitten at Wal-Mart; My neighbors, though annoying and anal, are fairly clean and normal looking; Hell, we don’t even have a public masterbator! (Well, not that I’ve seen anyway). And a walk in the park is just that…
For one poor woman in Bradenton, her walk in the park turned into a ginormous yuck-fest when she happened upon Betty Jo Leonardson and John Silvia bumpin’ uglies (and I do mean uglies) in a city park…with a playground about 150-feet away.…Continue Reading