Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Police Locate Teen Who Faked Her Own Abduction

August 24, 2011 at 8:43 am by  

AURORA, Colo. – Police have found the 15-year-old girl we reported on earlier this week who had faked her own abduction.

An officer in an unmarked police car spotted Jasmine Fike near a fast-food restaurant on Monday. She had altered her appearance and had been staying in a motel she had checked into using a fake ID.

The teen sparked a statewide Amber Alert after calling 911 and reporting a man, a convicted drug dealer, was trying to break into her home last Wednesday. When police arrived, Fike was missing and there were signs of a struggle. Police would later report that while they were still actively looking for Fike, the entire abduction was a hoax orchestrated by the teen.

She is currently in a juvenile facility, but cops made a strange comment when they were asked what kind of condition Fike was in when they found her.

“Her condition is relevant to what she’s been through, and if I comment on that, it would be a clue to what we’re investigating,” Aurora Police Detective Bob Friel told the Denver Post.…

AURORA, Colo. – Police would like to talk to the 15-year-old girl who staged her own abduction last week, triggering an Amber Alert and a lot of police resources wasted on her dumbass.

It all started with a 911 call (you can listen to it here) in which Jasmine Fike tells the dispatcher that she needs help, that someone is breaking into her home and trying to kidnap her. When police arrived at her home, they did not find Fike but did find signs of a struggle in her bedroom.

An Amber Alert was issued Wednesday morning in which a man named Franky Session, who has since been cleared of any wrongdoing, was named as a possible suspect.

Police still don’t know where Fike is, but they say she is travelling with known ciminals and that she had faked the entire abduction.

“We had dozens and dozens of people working on this case and what we learned is this is all a hoax,” says Det. Bob Friel. “There’s a bit of astonishment to the lengths she went to carry out her hoax.…


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