Brooke Watts Is An Unholy Mess

St. Bernard, Ohio – Brooke Watts has been in a hell of a mess.   Unfortunately, Brooke’s kids were living in it with her.   Watts, 27, was arrested on Tuesday night after police officers found her and her three children, ages1, 4, and 7, living in filth.  Bonus, there were meth ingredients lying around.  Double plus bonus, the kids all had head lice and bugs were everywhere – even in the food in the refrigerator.  Well, that’ll put me right back on my diet.    Fortunately for the kids, a social worker did her job and alerted the cops after she showed up to visit the family and found that despite repeated warnings, the place was an unlivable nightmare of ewww.   I know, right?  A repeat visit, and the place still had masses of messes all up in it?  But of course, my darling denizens.  Because cleaning the house before Child Protective Services drops by just feels wrong, somehow, y’know? [Read more...]

Toni Martinez Packs A Wallop

Austin, TX – Oh, we got one. Jaileen-pretty and meaner than Kumari Fulbright, Toni Rene Martinez, 19, is a sweet looking little angel from Hell. Toni is accused of beating her two year old son so badly on SaturdaySaturday reviews that he has a 50/50 chance at survival. Doesn’t she know that Austin doesn’t have time for this crap during SXSW? [Read more...]