Stuart McIntyre Is An Old Perv

Primera, TX- For an elderly man just two months shy of his 89th birthday, Stuart McIntyre sure has a way with the ladies. Well, I mean, the little ladies. What’s his secret? I’m guessing charm because old-fartism doesn’t always earn a child’s trust, even though his mugshot does remind me of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham’s puppet named Walter Walter reviews.

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Thomas Van-Hook Offers His Services

Jasper, TX–Thomas Van-Hook, 55, is offering up cheap babysitting services. For a paltry $12.00, Van-Hook will take care of the little buggers for the entire weekend. You must be thinking to yourself, ‘What’s the catch?’ Well, Van-Hook has one requirement…they must be female children and they must be between the ages of 11 months and 9 years.

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