Chicago, IL — Marcos Santos was charged with aggravated abuse of a child after police say he burned his 2-year-old son’s genitals with a hot frying pan after the kid requested a diaper change earlier this month.
According to police, the toddler toddled into the kitchen and informed Santos that he needed a diaper change. Santos apparently got angry when the child’s diaper fell apart, so he did what any sane parent would do in the same situation….he swept up all the stinky, soaking wet pieces of cotton and threw them in the trash. Just kidding – he grabbed a hot frying pan and placed it on the kid’s crotch, causing first- and second-degree burns to the boy’s penis, scrotum and thigh.
Police say Santos then attempted to treat the kid’s burns with toothpaste – it wasn’t until three days after the fact that medical assistance was sought.
Santos, 39, has been ordered held on $500,000 bond. Kiddo’s mom, 36-year-old Joanna Pawlina, is also charged with endangering the life and health of a child, a misdemeanor, because she was fully aware of the injuries and failed to seek medical attention.…Continue Reading
Schaumburg, IL – A couple of teachers are in the news today, starting with a math teacher at a Christian school who just got busted jacking off behind his desk in front of a classroom full of students.
Police say 75-year-old Paul LaDuke, a teacher at Schaumburg Christian School for over 10 years, was seated behind his podium when he lowered his pants and began masturbating. Another student noticed what he was doing and told another teacher. Since this is not a public school, LaDuke was fired that same day and police were contacted.
On Monday, after investigators interviewed several students, LaDuke was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child. Police believe LaDuke has been doing this several times a year for a decade. Police also said there is no evidence that any students were inappropriately touched or physically harmed.
Maybe it’s because of all the weird shit we post, the only things about this story that surprised me was that LaDuke was capable of an erection and that he chose to lower his pants to take care of it.…Continue Reading
Illinois – Last Friday, 10-year-old Ashlynn Conner was found dead inside her closet where she had hanged herself with a scarf. Her family says bullying is to blame.
Her mother told reporters that Ashlynn, an honor roll student at Ridgefarm Elementary, had been bullied relentlessly at school and by kids in the neighborhood. Nothing physical, just emotional bullying consisting mostly of name calling.
“Ashlynn’s ugly, look Ashlynn’s ugly. She’s fat. They’d call her a slut,” her mother said.
Last Thursday Ashlynn told her mother she’d been picked on all day at school by three girls and asked if she could be home-schooled. Her mother told her ‘no’ and that she would speak to the principal about it on Monday. The next day, while most kids were enjoying a day off for Veteran’s Day, Ashlynn went inside her hanging in her closet.
Her older sister found her after the family realized they had not seen or heard from Ashlynn since her mother had overheard her talking with a classmate on the phone a half-hour before, detailing the girls at school picking on her and the fact that her mother would not let her be home-schooled.…Continue Reading
Peoples, apparently enraged about a missing bag of Halloween candy, reportedly stabbed 49-year-old Maria Adams multiple times Monday night. I kinda have to wonder if maybe “candy” is code word for “crack” in this case…
Police say that at some point during the bloody argument, a plate was thrown and Peoples suffered a cut over his eye. After receiving treatment for the cut, Peoples was booked on charges of attempted murder and aggravated domestic battery.
Adams was pronounced dead Saturday evening. Charges are expected to be upgraded after the results of the autopsy are released.
Police have not yet identified the particular brand of candy that led to the fatal stabbing. If it was DumDums or some shit like that, dude deserves the chair…like, right now. Rolos or RPBCs? Justifiable.
Peoples has been ordered held on $2 million bail.…Continue Reading
Indian Head Park, IL – Police say 38-year-old John L. Wilson Jr. stabbed 14-year-old Kelli O’Laughlin to death back on October 27th after she walked into her home and interrupted his burglary attempt.
Her body was discovered by her mother later that day. She had been stabbed repeatedly in the neck, back and chest. If that isn’t enough of a nightmare situation for anyone to endure, O’Laughlin’s mother began receiving cruel texts from her dead daughter’s stolen phone.
Police have not released the exact messages, but they say the person sending them taunted the grieving family with details of the teen’s murder.
Police were finally able to identify Wilson as a suspect after a police officer, returning from work after a few days off, remembered stopping a man on the night of the murder four miles from the O’Laughlin’s that looked a lot like the composite sketch that had been released to the media.
The man had told the officer his car had broke down and he needed a cab. Investigators were able to locate the driver of the cab and then have Wilson positively identified in a line-up. Wilson was arrested and charged with first-degree murder and residential burglary. When he was finally arrested, Wilson had O’Laughlin’s phone in his possession.…Continue Reading
Steger, IL – Robert J. Deja, 45, was back in court on a second sexual assault charge. …and judging by the now $12 million bail, prosecutors are clearly not amused. If you are near a dry erase board, it may come in handy on this one…
Deja’s legal woes began in July after authorities reportedly learned of allegations that he had been sexually abusing his adopted daughter for approximately four years. Police then learned the young woman has a 3-year-old child fathered by Deja. Police reports say Deja became upset when he found out that his now 20-year-old daughter had a new boyfriend. This reportedly prompted Deja to kick his daughter out of the house. Deja then attempted to hire his brother as a hit man to kill his daughter and her boyfriend. It is believed that the brother – who is, of course, the woman’s uncle – tipped off authorities.
On October 12, Deja was arrested and held on $7 million bail on charges of solicitation to commit murder and criminal sexual assault.…Continue Reading
Chicago, IL — Interesting news report out of Chicago where a man has died after he tried to remove his own pacemaker.
Channing Askew, 47, told a worker at the group home where he lived that he was experiencing chest pains and needed an ambulance. While the worker called for help, Askew went to his room and waited for the paramedics.
Once they arrived, Askew repeated that he was having chest pains and then fell unconscious in the ambulance. As paramedics tried to revive him, they took off his shirt and noticed a stab wound in his chest then notified police. Askew would never regain consciousness and died a short while later.
After he was examined at the hospital, a doctor told police that it looked as if Askew had actually stabbed himself with an unknown instrument in an effort to remove his pacemaker. Not surprisingly, police say Askew may have suffered from mental issues.…Continue Reading
Snyder reportedly forced his way into the first apartment at about 4:00 a.m., demanded beer and began rummaging through the refrigerator. Empty handed and angry, police say Snyder punched the apartment’s occupant before exiting the home and continuing with his quest.
Just moments later, Snyder entered another apartment in the building where he was immediately confronted by a male resident. The two scrapped for a bit before Snyder armed himself with a corkscrew and stabbed the man in the back. Other residents in the apartment were able to hold Snyder until police arrived. The guy who got corkscrewed ended up with about 22 stitches.
He apparently hadn’t calmed down any in the time it took for the police to get there. Snyder reportedly threatened one of the arresting officers, telling him, “I live in the district. I’m going to kill your ass – you can’t lock me up forever.” He then asked the officer if he wanted some AIDS and spat on him.…Continue Reading
Carterville, IL – On the same day members of an Illinois community were mourning the loss of one of their teachers, another hanged herself in her own classroom.
A co-worker found 45-year-old Linda Elaine Walker in her kindergarten classroom late Monday afternoon where she had hanged herself. CPR was performed on Walker before emergency crews arrived but she would be pronounced dead at the hospital.
Walker, a teacher for 17 years, was found hanging in her classroom on the same day funeral services were held for another longtime Carterville kindergarten teacher, 72-year-old Lynn Byrnes, who died last week after complications from surgery.
“These things are so awful. Sometimes we don’t know the best thing to do. Fortunately, our kids, staff and community is a tight, resilient group,” Carterville school district Superintendent Robert Prusator said. “This is a day where everyone digs down and does a lot of work.”
As many as 30 counselors were available at area schools to help the community cope with the losses.…Continue Reading
Wauconda, IL – The minister of a fringe religious sect is being investigated after a claim by one of his flock that his unorthodox personal prayer sessions may have involved minors.
The sessions, which minister Phillip Livingston calls ‘light therapy’, involve him and one of his
sheep followers alone in a room together. Naked. Touching each other. On their hoo-hoos. I am so starting my own church.
The therapy sessions occurred in his home, and started off somewhat less creepy. A patient would lay on a couch, fully clothed and Livingston would touch them as they prayed. His wife would be present and no one was touched inappropriately. It wasn’t long, though, before Livingston subtracted his wife and clothes from the equation while adding a private room and some good old fashioned junk-touching. He would touch them, even penetrate them with his digits, while they touched him and both prayed.
He claims that the therapy produced miraculous results, curing drug addiction and turning homosexuals and sex addicts into ‘virtuous people’.…Continue Reading
It all started when a police officer happened across a couple of drunk teenagers….
The officer had detained the two teens for underage drinking, and when asked where their parents were, one of the juveniles pointed to a car parked nearby and told the officer he would find her mother in there.
When the officer approached the vehicle, he found Wilson and the teen “engaged in a sexual encounter.”
Wilson was booked on a single count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse and was ordered held on $75,000 bail.
Police say Wilson was charged earlier this year with misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a child and possessing drug paraphernalia. That case still is pending.…Continue Reading
According to police, the woman bumped into 34-year-old Dennis Dodson in a field behind a Home Depot while taking a shortcut home from the bank last Thursday. Police say she gave the man $5 and some food, returning later with a little more cash and a promise to help find him a place to stay. Later that evening, she called the Salvation Army and her church to arrange housing for Dodson. They, in turn, suggested the woman call police to do a well-being check on the man.
She returned to the field the next morning to find Dodson lying on the ground and surrounded by beer cans. When the woman told Dodson she had spoken with police and firemen about local homeless shelters, he attacked.
Police say an agitated Dodson grabbed the woman by the shoulders and began kissing her, trying to force his tongue in her mouth.…Continue Reading
Chicago, IL — When police stopped by his home to evict him for not paying property taxes, John Buddeke was arrested on child porn charges.
The 53 year-old, shown here being as handsome as he is intelligent, let the police in only to remember something important moments later. He attempted to walk upstairs, an action which police didn’t particularly like. They told him to stay put and went up instead. Displayed on a computer screen, in plain sight, was some illegal porn.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: how could he be that comfortable that he didn’t think to just turn the monitor off before letting police in? Well, I’m glad you asked. As it turns out, there’s a completely logical explanation.
You see, John here allegedly told police he’s been looking at the stuff going on 20 years now. I would imagine it could easily be second nature to him. Wake up, grab a cup of coffee and an Eggo, watch some kiddie porn, go to work, come home for a lunch consisting of a bologna sandwich and kiddie porn, and so on ’til bed time.…Continue Reading
PALOS PARK, Ill.— Police have arrested a 17-year-old and charged him with the gruesome beating death of his parents.
I’ve been keeping an eye on the murders of 44-year-old John Granat and his 42-year-old wife Maria, as police were informing neighbors that they weren’t in any danger while also mentioning the couple had a teen son. I figured it was only a matter of time before he was charged.
Police received a call from 17-year-old John Granat on Sunday morning, informing them that when he woke up that morning he found the house in disarray and his parents dead.
When police arrived they would find the couple dead in their blood-splattered bedroom. Cook County medical examiner’s office determined that John Granat suffered blunt force trauma to his head and was beaten so severely that his kidney was lacerated. Maria Granat suffered blunt force injuries as well, but unlike her husband, she was stabbed repeatedly.
I would suspect the fact that there was no evidence of forced entry combined with Granat’s multiple, inconsistent stories of what he was doing on the night his parents were beat to death, had police zeroing in on the teen from the onset.…Continue Reading
QUINCY, ILL. – Assault charges will be filed in juvenile court against freshman football players involved in an alleged hazing incident at Flinn Stadium more than two weeks ago.
The incident reportedly involved some freshman football players pinning down a fellow player in a locker room after practice. No other details of the alleged assault have been released, but if you read through all the news article comments, it looks like we have another “teabagging” incident exactly like the one we reported on back in November of last year.
For those of you living under a rock, teabagging is the act of one person placing their genitals on the face of another, or for a visual that more aptly coincides with the name, dunking their balls in another person’s open mouth. It’s not normally done for sexual gratification as much as it’s done for humiliation purposes.
Quincy Police Chief Rob Copley said the incident involved five student athletes who are all the same age and all the same gender. Copley says investigators have identified one of these juveniles as the “primary aggressor”. Several of the accused were suspended from school and the team.…Continue Reading
Homewood, Ill. – No, this is not a story about one of my dates. It’s about 63-year-old Janet Hardt who injected hot beef fat into her face, only to be pronounced hours later at the hospital.
Hardt had become obsessed with a cosmetic procedure she had developed herself, in which she would boil beef, extract the fat and then inject it around her mouth and chin in an attempt to simulate Botox.
She performed this technique on multiple occasions, but on Thursday she went to the hospital shortly after injecting the beef fat into her face, complaining that her face was burning. She would be dead within hours.
An autopsy performed the next day determined Hardt did not die from her DIY Botox procedure, although her face was infected. She had actually died from a bacterial infection caused by weakened walls in her colon.
Family members told authorities Hardt had undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries to her face and neck. Reports are that even though her face was infected, scarred and grotesque looking, it was almost devoid of wrinkles.…Continue Reading
Homewood, Ill — The man accused of stabbing his 3-year-old son to death after raping the boy’s mother and tossing her out a window has been ordered held without bond.
Police say that last Friday, 27-year-old Gregory Sandifer raped his girlfriend, 25-year-old Margaret Jefferson, at knifepoint. Afterwards, he stabbed her multiples times in the chest, neck and arms. Sandifer then began beating her, then hit her with her a television before pushing her out a second-floor window.
Still alive, Jefferson began screaming for help.
“There wasn’t any part of her body that wasn’t covered with blood. She was practically naked,” neighbor Kathy Perez told the Tribune. “She kept asking (police) to go get (her) baby. ‘He’s gonna kill my baby.’”
Still inside the apartment, Sandifer allegedly grabbed a carving knife and murdered his 3-year-old son, Jaivon Sandifer, by stabbing him 10 times in the torso, neck and arms as he lay in his bed. One of these wounds was a 14-centimeter stab wound on the back of the boy’s neck.
Witnesses then watched as Sandifer jumped from the second floor porch and landed in the yard of the house next door.…Continue Reading
Naperville, IL - Alexander Georg, 27, was jailed on $1.5 million bond after – according to prosecutors – he attacked his mother so severely with a butcher knife that the handle broke off. The attack was reportedly his answer to her offer to make him a sandwich.
Georg is reported to live with his 52-year-old mother in an apartment on Naperville’s northeast side. Published reports said Georg’s mother had brought him home earlier in the day from a ‘mental and emotional health care facility’ where he had undergone treatment for nearly two weeks.
Police say that, after he arrived home, his mother offered to make him a sandwich, and he ‘grabbed the knife, chased her out to the driveway and pinned her down and stabbed her repeatedly.’
Neighbors described the woman’s screams as “bone-chilling,” prompting them to call the police. When police arrived, Georg’s mother was said to be standing across the street covered in blood. Georg was standing in the driveway of the residence and was arrested without resisting.…Continue Reading
An employee at Mama K’s restaurant told police he served Plemons a beer but, after conversing with the suspect, decided that Plemons was intoxicated and refused to serve him a second.
When he was informed that he would not be served, Plemons reportedly began yelling and causing a disturbance – because causing a loud disturbance is an excellent way to get served alcohol. Oddly, he was escorted out of the restaurant.
In an obvious effort to further demonstrate to the waiter that he was, in fact, sober and clear thinking, Plemons next positioned himself in plain view of the glass window at the front of the restaurant, and proceeded to wag his exposed johnson towards the patrons inside, said Gurnee Police Commander Jay Patrick. Those aren’t Patrick’s exact words. ..but they are pretty close.
Plemons self-imposed field sobriety test was not only witnessed by the patrons inside the restaurant – he happened to be standing next to a car of a woman loading her children to leave when he exposed himself, Patrick said.…Continue Reading
Downers Grove, IL — Donald J. Sullivan, 44, reportedly called police from the scene of a traffic accident requesting an officer to prevent him from ‘shooting someone.’ In response to that call, police say he now faces a felony weapons charge.
According to the police report, Sullivan was driving in Downers Grove in a Chevy Silverado when, while stopped at a traffic light, he yelled at the motorist stopped alongside him in a Jeep Cherokee. Nobody still appears to know why Sullivan was upset. The driver of the Jeep got out to confront Sullivan, police said, and Sullivan responded by inserting a clip into a semi-automatic handgun and pointing the weapon at both the driver and a passenger in the Jeep.
After ‘exchanging words,’ the Jeep driver returned to his vehicle and both automobiles continued to drive in the same direction after the light had turned green.
The Jeep driver attempted to write down Sullivan’s license plate and call 911. In response, Sullivan reportedly swerved into the Jeep, hitting the vehicle’s right rear corner with the front of his pickup truck before the two vehicles came to an abrupt stop.…Continue Reading