Caitlin Powers Is Kinda Clumsy

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Revere, MA - Pop quiz:  it’s 5:00 p.m., and you’re hungry.  You’re babysitting your infant niece, but you also have two friends with you, and it’s time for your heroin fix.  Do you:  (A)  Call someone to come get the baby; (B) Wait to get high until the baby leaves; or (C) Take the baby to Taco Bell, get high in the parking lot, and drop the baby on her head?   If you picked C, you’re Caitlyn Powers!  [Read more...]

Stephanie Broz Is A Hypocrite

NORWALK, OH - Stephanie Broz, 22, was a concerned young mother living in Norwalk, Ohio with her infant child. Appearances can be deceiving. In June, she appeared before the Norwalk School Board to advocate drug testing in schools.  She more than advocated drug testing, she insisted it begin immediately.  Her proposal was declined due to legal reasons, and no doubt left members’ scratching their heads’ and wondering WTF was her real agenda.  They were soon to find out. [Read more...]

They Don’t Get Stupider Than Shannon Bozel

 

PittsburghPittsburgh reviews, PA  –   Dear Shannon Elizabeth Bozel,

Let’s just start from the beginning, shall we?  First, if your boyfriend is on house arrest, you do not offer to go buy him a little smack to get him through the pain of having to sit around and do nothing.

Second, if you must go buy your boyfriend heroin, you should probably get a sitter instead of taking your 14-month-old son with you for the ride.  I know you’re 22.  I know you’re probably broke because of your boyfriend.  But many people put down the penis and walk away, sweetie.  Might I suggest you do the same? [Read more...]