Man Wanted After Grocery Store Checkout Girl Sees Zipper Full O’ Penis

May 4, 2012 at 11:12 am by kniption  

Tecumseh, MI - Occasionally, we here at D’D are asked to set aside our laser sharp Ivy League-caliber analysis of human psychosocial behavior to focus on 100% real and true crime fightin’.  This is one of those times…

Police are asking for civic-minded citizens to help them locate a man who was recorded on video surveillance cameras checking out at a Michigan grocery store with his johnson fully out of his zipper. The surveillance cameras – clearly equipped with the latest macro-zoom and digital enhancement features – recorded the man during his brazen display to an unwitting checkout worker.

Police say that at 2:07 p.m. Wednesday at Busch’s Valu-land in Tecumseh, Michigan, the man pictured was purchasing items. As the clerk scanned the suspect’s groceries, she noticed his jeans were unzipped and his genitals ‘fully exposed.’ The clerk told police the man stood very close to the checkout counter, but – cleverly – far enough back so she could see his man parts over the edge of the counter. As the man walked away, she observed him zipping his pants back up in a clear admission that this was no mistake!…

Man In Coon Skin Hat Arrested For Exposing Himself In Grocery Store

January 24, 2012 at 8:14 am by kniption  

Bartlesville, OK - Patrons at an Oklahoma grocery store got a surprise when George Edward Brown, 51, exposed himself in front of the in-store bank.

The free show reportedly began last Sunday around 1:13 p.m. at the Food Pyramid grocery store when Brown – described as wearing a coon skin cap at the time – let it all hang out in front of the Bank of Oklahoma desk in a possible form of protest.

As Bartlesville is a good-sized town, residents are not without the opportunity to attend male revues. Still, an opportunity to see a truly professional display of raw Chippendale’s-quality masculinity free-of-charge is not to be passed up by the ladies. Sadly for Brown, by blocking the bank’s desk, he inadvertently cheated himself out of what could have been tens – nay, hundreds – of singles stuffed into his welcoming pouch.

Officers were dispatched after a presumably unappreciative few reported him for indecent exposure. When police arrived, they reportedly found Brown again facing the bank counter in the ‘busy store with many people around him.’ The arrest affidavit said that – when asked to turn around – Brown complied with his credit union member “completely exposed through a hole in the front of his jeans.”

Police arrested Brown on a charge of indecent exposure.…