Gratitude – You’re Doing It Wrong

Louisville, KY – Don’t you just hate it when, out of the kindness of your heart, you get all hospitable and friendly and open your home to a down-on-his-luck kind of friend, only to end up getting royally screwed? You allow the guy to live under your roof, eat your food, use your toilet, and watch your tv and the fucker ends up raping your girlfriend while your at work. How’s that for gratitude? Such is the case with one of Gary Elmore’s kindhearted friends. Worried that Gary, who is reportedly homeless, would get harassed by the police for wandering around town, this friend invited Gary into his home Monday evening. Come Tuesday morning, when the unnamed friend left for work, Gary allegedly slipped into his bed and started doing the nasty with the girlfriend. The sleeping girlfriend, perhaps thinking her man wanted some morning glory, assumed it was her boyfriend pokin’ on her. It might have went something like this – Mmmm, oh yeah. Whoa! Wait a minute! What the… How the… Who the… You asshole! Get outta there! When she realized it wasn’t her beloved, she put up a fight and chased the ungrateful homeless bastid outta the house with her cane and called 911. He was picked up a few blocks away from the home a short time later. During questioning, he admitted to being a sneaky, skeevy, rapist. Gary Elmore, 39, has been charged with first-degree rape and bond was set at $25,000 cash. Yep – being an anti-social hermit suits me just fine. [Read more...]