Zachary Johnson Is A Dick

Chicago, IL – I don’t have a lot of information on this one, but what I do have is enough to make my stomach turn. Zachary Johnson, 20, was pissed off at his girlfriend, and after the two argued last FridayFriday reviews, Zachary showed that girl what a bad-ass motherfucker he really was. He allegedly grabbed the woman’s 3-month-old child out of her hands, locked himself in a room with the infant boy, and proceeded to knock the crap out of the kid. The mother, on the other side of the door, could hear Zachary slapping the child with an open hand. Luckily, she was able to get the door open and retrieve the baby boy before Zachary could beat him to death. Upon admission to the hospital, the child was suffering from five broken ribs, a punctured liver, bruising all over his tiny body, and bite marks. There is no word on the current condition of the child. Way to go tough guy! You can beat up a defenseless infant! You really showed her, didn’t ya? Fuckass. Zachary Johnson is now being held on $1 million bond and facing felony charges of aggravated battery to a child. [Read more...]

Brian Mark Hopf SUCKS

Chandler, AZ – It’s been awhile since a story has angered me as much as this one, and I’m afraid it’s gonna stick with me. I fucking hate the vile, revolting, waste of a human being known as Brian Mark Hopf. Just his name on my tongue makes me want to vomit. This putrid steaming pile of excrement wrapped up in human skin was blessed with the ability to help create a life – a life that he basically ended early Monday morning. Authorities say that Brian’s three-week-old daughter suffered not only severe physical abuse, but was possibly sexually assaulted as well. Three. Fucking. Weeks. And it’s not looking like she is going to hit the one-month milestone. The child is hospitalized with multiple injuries, including three skull fractures, fractured ribs, retinal hemorrhaging, brain swelling, four tears to her anus, and irreversible brain damage. Good god. [Read more...]

Summer And Diego Broke The Baby

Bradenton, Florida–Summer Labelle and her live-in boyfriend, Diego Martinson, need some sense knocked into them. They could also use a few parenting tips. Like this one, for example: Don’t play tug-of-war with your infant…the baby always loses.

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Bruce Benford Has A Really Slippery Baby

Bruce Benford (Myspace)

Daytona Beach, FL–Bruce Benford, 23, is either really clumsy, or his 2-month-old son is really slippery. In the couple of months the child has been alive, he has been dropped no less than four times!

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